Series premiere review: 'Beauty and the Beast' - 'Pilot': Look away! I'm HIDEOUS!
What did everybody think of the new CW drama?
Jay Ryan and Kristin Kreuk in "Beauty and the Beast." But which one's which?
If "Beauty and the Beast" isn't the worst new show of the fall (and it probably is, and Fienberg definitely thinks it is), it's certainly the silliest. It's the kind of show that justifies every horrible stereotype and joke about Hollywood executives. Of course the CW would do a version of "Beauty and the Beast" (specifically, remaking the '80s Ron Perlman/Linda Hamilton CBS series) in which the "beast" is an incredible hunk who just happens to have a scar on his face. The CW's target demo doesn't want to watch ugly people. Duh.
The producers have tried to spin it as Jay Ryan being beastly in less superficial ways: He has a temper! He's damaged from his time in the military and this weird experiment! Lana Lang just can't resist him, even though he's bad for her! But it's all just goofy, Ryan is wooden, Kristin Kreuk is hilariously miscast as a tough New York cop, and after about five minutes of laughing at the absurdity of it all, I found "Beauty and the Beast" committing the worst TV sin of all: it was boring.
For those of you who watched tonight, what did you think? One and done, or time to set the DVR season pass?
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Login or create a HitFix account Login SignupJoyeful
October 11, 2012 at 10:11PM EST Reply to CommentI watched it just because I didn't think it could possibly be as bad as Feinberg thought it was. Sadly, it was. The beast is gorgeous. The dialogue was laughable. Mom: "You're lucky I was on call!" Lana: "It's not luck. you always come running when I call." SERIOUSLY?
Kreuk isn't even close to convincing as a tough New York City cop. Oh - and New York City? I'm from Toronto...that was Toronto. They didn't even try.
Oh - and best part. You're a pre-law student turned cop...and you run away from an oncoming train IN THE DIRECTION OF THE TRAIN?
I bow to Feinberg and Sepinwall, as always, they're right.
BrettPoker
October 11, 2012 at 10:20PM EST Reply to CommentSorry you had to watch that Alan. I feel like I owe you a steak dinner. If you're ever in Atlanta and have the unfortunate experience of reviewing a Tyler Perry sitcom, the meal is one me.
Brubarian My mother asked me who a 5-letter Tyler Perry character was for a crossword puzzle today... So sad that I knew the answer...
October 11, 2012 at 10:36PM ESTAlex
October 11, 2012 at 10:35PM EST Reply to CommentI was forced to sit through this at ComicCon. I say forced because I wanted to keep my seat for the 'Elementary' screening that followed it. After the first five minutes I wanted out desperately. It was mind-numbing. Seriously, how did this even make it to air? The writing was awful and the casting: Beast was pretty, not even ruggedly good looking but pretty - shiny, no genitals right out of the package by Mattel. I will not be watching.
Kath I thought it was better than Elementary because it doesn't pretend to be something it's not. Elementary was a huge disappointment to me because it's bad Sherlock Holmes fanfic. B&B is campy but they don't try to pretend it's art.
October 11, 2012 at 10:44PM ESTAlex Well, while 'Elementary' did not impress me(to my mind it's far too much like the Mentalist and far too little like Sherlock Holmes) it also did not make me want to consume large quantities of alcohol and this did.
October 11, 2012 at 11:05PM ESTPrettok Just calling itself 'Beauty and the Beast' is pretentious. It is laying claim to being part of a long artistic tradition of BatB adaptations.
October 11, 2012 at 11:25PM ESTTracey @Kath: Actually, it DID pretend to be something it's not. It pretended to be the 1980s series with Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton. But the only thing it had in common with that series was the two main character names (Catherine Chandler and Vincent), the fact that Catherine was involved in law enforcement (in the old one, she was an ADA), and the fact that Vincent knew his way around the subway tunnels.
October 18, 2012 at 9:36AM ESTKath
October 11, 2012 at 10:41PM EST Reply to CommentYes, it wasn't great television. But definitely better than Arrow, which was all action and no brain.
I did like her revenge on her cheating boyfried.
Tedd Did Beauty and the Beast have brain?
October 12, 2012 at 1:44AM ESTMaureen
October 12, 2012 at 2:19AM EST Reply to CommentThis was horrible. Acting was terrible, especially the actress who played the partner, was she called Vargas? It was almost comical watching how awful she was. I don't get it-isn't Hollywood full of talented actors who can't find jobs? The casting agents are really falling down on the job for these shows.
Lee
October 12, 2012 at 1:32PM EST Reply to CommentBrave soul you are. I too turned in for about 15 minutes just to see if it was as bad as described - I thought it was worse - I continue to marvel at what Hollywood will throw money at; this is sinful waste of money that could be spent on absolutely anything at all and it will still be better spent.
darrin
October 12, 2012 at 4:46PM EST Reply to CommentWhat a waste of time. The 'beast' is a Ken-doll version of the Hulk and the 'cop' was lifted directly from The Perils of Pauline. And the 9-11 tie-in? Sublimely tasteless.
AC Wright
October 13, 2012 at 11:45AM EST Reply to CommentAnyone else notice that the procedural sub plot was taken from an episode of The Closer?
updraft
October 14, 2012 at 6:30PM EST Reply to CommentI think you are all insensitive and plain old mean! If you think you can do better in the performing arts industry, go ahead. Feinberg you yourself are something to laugh at. Jay Ryan and Kristin Kreuk are simply trying to please and audience that isn't smart enough or talented enough to be in the same position. They should get an "A" for effort. Let me know when any of you have what it takes to be in front of an audience, especially you Feinberg.
dan Updraft - "Fienberg." And "Jay Ryan and Kristin Kreuk are simply trying to please and audience that isn't smart enough or talented enough to be in the same position" is the most astoundingly condescending sentence I've ever read and I write condescending sentences for a living. Well done!
October 14, 2012 at 7:34PM EST-Daniel
XK
October 15, 2012 at 7:38PM EST Reply to CommentMy wife and I made it through about 24 minutes of it... it was truly terrible, but, after we stopped giggling over the acting and storyline, we found ourselves bored. So.. pretty much exactly what your review predicted.
Tracey
October 18, 2012 at 9:30AM EST Reply to CommentWow. I just finished watching this, and ... I don't know why they even bother pretending this piece of crap has anything to do with the popular '80s show. I wasn't particularly a fan of the '80s show, but I had a lot of friends in school who were, and this just... yuck. I see what Alan means about how the "beast" has to be pretty because modern audiences wouldn't watch ugly. Of course, Ron Perlman's Vincent wasn't really "ugly," but anything that's not magazine cover pretty won't fly on TV today.
BklynGrl
October 19, 2012 at 5:07PM EST Reply to CommentTwo problems with the pilot (beyond the writing).
The murder plot was practically the same as Season 1, episode 2 of "The Closer" - has everyone simply lost the ability to write new material.
The second problem was math - Vincent was a doctor when he lost his brothers in 2001. Even if he was just in medical school that still puts his character in his mid 30's now. Kreuk is closer to the age of her character, but as others said is unbelievable as an NYPD detective.
Jenna
December 9, 2012 at 8:13AM EST Reply to CommentThe 1987 series of Beauty & the Beast is on Netflix. Yeah! I'll be watching that instead.