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Toddlers & Tiaras

One child from 'Toddlers & Tiaras'

Toddlers & Tiaras

Dec 12, 2012 08:00 PM

TV Network - TLC

Tonight, kind of as their holiday gift to us, we're getting the winter premiere of "Toddlers & Tiaras" and, right before that, a 'Most Memorable Moments' special.  How can you not be excited?  Don't you want to watch all the Honey Boo Boo-types and maybe even the legendary Honey Boo Boo herself?  There is a reason Honey Boo Boo is a phenomenon (and it is a phenomenon), and if you haven't seen "Toddlers & Tiaras" you need to tune in at least once to see what you've been missing.  Plus, you know, Honey Boo Boo.  Honey Boo Boo.

Past Events

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    Toddlers & Tiaras

    Jun 05, 2013

    TV Network - TLC

    We aren't going to stand (sit) here and tell you that everything "Toddlers & Tiaras" offers up is wonderful.  It is, however, all wonderfully different.  Okay, fine, some of it is just plain weird, but who are we to tell you that weird isn't good.  If weird wasn't good, where would Gonzo be?  Not that Gonzo could ever appear on "Toddlers & Tiaras," he is far too old, but Miss Piggy probably wouldn't mind being a judge.  Maybe they will, eventually, do a crossover, but for now, we'll just content ourselves with knowing that by tuning in to this show we can see parents teach their kids to walk down the runway.  

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    Toddlers & Tiaras

    Jan 04, 2012

    TV Network - TLC

    "Toddlers & Tiaras" is, quite understandably, a polarizing show.  There are people who believe that what the parents do to their kids on this series is wrong, and there are those who feel as though the parents are just helping their kids live up to their potential.  As an inanimate calendar, we have no standing to say one thing or the other, just to note that we choose not to act in such a manner.  Our children are not allowed to wear makeup until their 25 and only we are ever tortured with having to watch their 'talents' displayed.  Ah, little kids singing, it can be... fun.

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    Toddlers & Tiaras

    Aug 10, 2011

    TV Network - TLC

    We don't wish to impugn every parent who puts curlers in their child's hair, throws lip gloss on them, and forces them to learn how to twirl a baton whilst wearing a two piece bathing suit & high heels and singing the national anthem, but some of the folks on this show are weird.  There is certainly something to be said for making sure your child has a talent that will take them all the way to... wherever such a talent might take them.  Watch "Toddlers & Tiaras" tonight as the season finale is here and you're just never sure if some civil rights group is going to stop the show from ever returning. 

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    Toddlers & Tiaras

    Jun 15, 2011

    TV Network - TLC

    Wow.  Don't ask us to describe this show--you wouldn't believe us if we did--just relax and watch the insanity flow over you like a nice cool ocean breeze.  You know, the kind of ocean breeze that is awfully young but scarily perfumed and fully made up with teased hair, vasoline-covered teeth, and a disturbing attitude.  And, don't forget about the other ocean breeze right behind the young one, the old ocean breeze that is a little too invested in making sure the young one tickles your fancy just right.  Okay, we made it hard to relax, but try.

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    Toddlers & Tiaras

    Dec 29, 2010

    TV Network - TLC

    Oh man, the good times are back.  In this holiday time of joy and excess and shows that make us seriously consider our life choices, isn't it nice to be able to sit back and watch a show all about toddlers getting dolled up for beauty pageants and competing against each other in the swimsuit competition?  Okay, there's no swimsuit portion, but there are certainly fake eyelashes, spray on tans, and plenty of teased hair.  We're not judging how anyone lives their life (although we'd love to be a celebrity judge at one of these competitions), we just enjoy getting a glimpse into a path that we've opted not to take.

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