Take Me To The Pilots '12: ABC's 'How To Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)'
[In case you've Forgotten, and as I will continue to mention each and every one of these posts that I do: This is *not* a review. Pilots change. Sometimes a lot. Often for the better. Sometimes for the worse. But they change. Actual reviews will be coming in September and perhaps October (and maybe midseason in some cases). This is, however, a brief gut reaction to not-for-air pilots. I know some people will be all "These are reviews." If you've read me, you've read my reviews and you know this isn't what they look like.]
Show:"How To Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)" (ABC) [Midseason]
The Pitch: You know how it's weird when guys have to help raise their kids? It's even weirder when grownups live with their parents. Or that's what the trend stories say.
Quick Response: I don't mind the premise here. I generally think Sarah Chalke is fantastic and I've been known to really like both Elizabeth Perkins and Brad Garrett. But just because I would happily watch a show with EXACTLY this premise and EXACTLY this cast doesn't mean that I want to watch THIS version of that show. Execution is everything and the pilot for "How To Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)" --- or HTLwYPFtRoYL, as I like to call it -- is probably the least enjoyable version of itself that it could possibly be. It doesn't help that Chalke is playing just another iteration of the exact same ditzy-yet-earthy-yet-flighty-yet-maternal quirky-hipster-mom that Dakota Johnson is playing on "Ben and Kate" and Georgia King is playing on "The New Normal" and her on-screen daughter (Rachael Eggleston) is just another variant on all of the season's interchangeable accessory daughters. If you're going to be part of a trend, it hurts to be the last show from the set to premiere and "HTLwYPFtRoYL" is the last [and least] of this group. ["Happy Endings" was the last of a group of "Friends"-style comedies in its season and is now the only survivor, so it's not impossible to overcome, if you happen to be funny.] For what it's worth, "HTLwYPFtRoYL" has a fair amount to say about the nature of parenting and the ways in which the mistakes of one generation inform the mistakes of the next generation. It just isn't funny in saying those things. The script is almost entirely designed to make likable actors unlikeable. Chalke, about as winning an actress as you can find, is flailing and shrill. Perkins and Garrett are the rare TV "Parents with No Filter" who you almost immediately wish would just muzzle themselves, without producing any compensating laughter [maybe it's not-so-rare, actually]. There's the tacit implication that you don't want to hear Perkins talking about having sex with a basketball team or Garrett talking about the results of testicular cancer because the characters are old and it's embarrassing when old people talk about such things. No. It's embarrassing because these are two talented actors delivering dialogue that's more unfunny than awkward. With bleeped swearing and sex talk, there's actually a lot of "HTLwYPFtRoYL" that's convinced it's cool or edgy or boundary shifting, but doesn't come close to any of those targets. [Am I wrong or is this title cumbersome without being genuinely amusing? Like the rest of the pilot, it thinks it's being cool or edgy, but it's really just long.] Orlando Jones and Jon Dore are wasted in supporting roles.
Desire To Watch Again: Chalke's moving into dangerous territory, because after "Mad Love," this is her second straight starring vehicle that I was convinced had all of the elements to eventually be funny and just wasn't funny in immediate execution. I gave "Mad Love" entirely too many episodes before giving up a week or two before ended. I won't be nearly as patient with this. I'll give "HTLwYPFtRoYL" a couple weeks to rise to the level of the involved talent and then I'm out, because the pilot was unpleasant.
Take Me To The Pilots '12: NBC's '1600 Penn'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: ABC's 'The Zero Hour'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: NBC's 'Do No Harm'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: The CW's 'The Carrie Diaries'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: ABC's 'Malibu Country'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: NBC's 'The New Normal'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: NBC's 'Guys with Kids'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: FOX's 'The Mindy Project'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: CBS' 'Partners'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: ABC's 'Nashville'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: CBS' 'Made in Jersey'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: The CW's 'Emily Owens, M.D.'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: FOX's 'Mob Doctor'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: NBC's 'Animal Practice'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: ABC's 'Last Resort'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: CBS' 'Vegas'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: The CW's 'Beauty & The Beast'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: ABC's '666 Park Avenue'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: NBC's 'Chicago Fire'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: FOX's 'Ben and Kate'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: CBS' 'Elementary'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: The CW's 'Arrow'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: ABC's 'The Neighbors'
Take Me To The Pilots '12: NBC's 'Revolution'
All of last year's Take Me To The Pilots entries
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Cast: Amy Schumer, Kevin Kane, Mike Houston
2008 | Science Fiction | PGSummary: Animated series continues the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker as they battle the Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous, but also takes time to explore other smaller characters in the Star Wars universe.Director: George Lucas (creator)
Cast: Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Matt Lanter
1995 | Mystery | NRSummary: Denzel Washington plays an out of work WWII vet who takes the wrong job and is soon neck-deep in a mess of politics, murder, and jazz in '40s Los Angeles.Director: Carl Franklin
Cast: Denzel Washington, Tom Sizemore, Jennifer Beals
1993 | Sports | PGSummary: Emotionally powerful sports classic featuring Sean Astin as a skinny high school kid with big football dreams and the determination to make his way towards his dream team at Notre Dame.Director: David Anspaugh
Cast: Sean Astin, Jon Favreau, Ned Beatty
1997 | Crime | RSummary: Quentin Tarantino adaptats an Elmore Leonard novel into this story of a few increasingly desperate people scraping to get by.Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
2007 | Comedy | PGSummary: Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.Director: Steve Carr
Cast: John C. McGinley, Ice Cube, Nia Long, Aleisha Allen
1996 | Crime | RSummary: Jerry, a small-town Minnesota car salesman is bursting at the seams with debt... but he's got a plan. He's going to hire two thugs to kidnap his wife in a scheme to collect a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law. It's going to be a snap and nobody's going to get hurt... until people start ...Director: Joel Coen
Cast: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare
2013 | Thriller | RSummary: Based on the true story of Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) a Miami bodybuilder who wants to live the American dream. He would like to have the money that other people have. So he enlists the help of fellow bodybuilder Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and ex-convict, Christian bodybuilder Paul Doyle (D...Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub
2013 | Drama | RSummary: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill have boundless energy in the story of a real-life commodities crook who earned millions through scummy small-time stock trades.Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
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