Recap: 'The Amazing Race' Premiere - 'Double Your Money'
Which team earned the chance to hypothetically win $2 million?
Jaymes and James of "The Amazing Race"
Credit: CBS
Are you a fan of The Amazing Race?
Sign up to get the latest updates instantly.
If you're a regular reader of my "Amazing Race" recaps, I bet you think you can predict the first thing I'm going to say about Sunday (September 30) night's premiere.
Wrong!
I want to talk about the fact that Team Monster Truck -- Rob & Kelley -- seems to be using rollaboard luggage rather than traditional backpacks. My knowledge of "Amazing Race" isn't as encyclopedic as for some of the shows I recap, but I can't remember this ever being done previously. Was there a rule change? Or do Rob and/or Kelley have back problems of some sort that require a luggage alternative? It's not like backpacks with wheels are a new invention. Is the theory that rollies are actually slower than backpacks? They obviously are slower when you're in a crowded area and you have to navigate quickly. But they're easier if you happen to be weaker.
These are the questions I pondered as I saw Team Monster Truck navigating around the Bund in Shanghai. It struck me as weird. And so I wanted to bring it up.
[Buddy Andy from RealityBlurred notes that flight attendants Jodi & Christie from S. 14 had rollaboards.]
Bet you didn't expect that to be the first thing discussed in my recap tonight.
I bet you expected me to go on my traditional jeremiad about how it's absolutely asinine to premiere seasons of "The Amazing Race" or "Survivor" with hour-long episodes.
And guess what? It's true, darnit!
Normally, I just use my premiere week recaps to go through each of the teams, listing the teams that I'm liking and the teams I'm disliking, which tends to be a good way for me to keep the teams straight in my head and break down the initial impressions they left.
Guess what? After one hour? I'm really not liking or disliking anybody. I'm impressed by Monster Truck Rob and his eating prowess (more on that in a bit). It's absolutely impossible not to be impressed by Amy with her two artificial legs. I've decided that Nadiya is The Annoy Twin. I find Beekman Boys Josh and Brent to be amusing, but they're professional reality show stars, so of course they are. But, in the balance after one hour, I have no rooting interest, positive or negative, towards any team. And that's the kind of thing you avoid by doing an extended premiere for competition series that have to introduce 22 new people. Look at "Survivor," which premiered its Philippines season with a 90-minute episode. After 90 minutes, I had vague awareness of all 18 contestants (albeit a group that included three returning players and two pseudo-stars).
After 60 minutes tonight? Whatever.
And what's worse: Of the 11 "Amazing Race" teams this season, at least four of the teams are same-gender pairings in which I will NEVER be able to properly distinguish between players, at least not on my tiny Slingbox screen. Team White Lion and Team Sri Lankan Twins were always going to be a struggle. If Natalie wears her hair down and Naiya always wears a scrunchie, I might occasionally make a correct ID. Ditto if James (he of White Lion and Megadeath) always wears dark shades and Abba (formerly "Mark") wears clear glasses. James and Abba aren't brothers and they don't look that much alike, but in the "Amazing Race" chaos (and, again, on my Slingbox), there're close enough.
I have the same issue with Team Chippendale. Jaymes (blonde and scruffy) and James (brunette and scruffy) have similar stature and different features, but recognizing those differences while also retaining which is "James" and which is "Jaymes" is a lost cause.
And finally, Caitlin and Brittany? One played soccer and one played volleyball, but otherwise? they're both tall, slender blondes with REALLY white teeth. Staring at headshots for a couple seconds, I think Brittany is the one I find cuter, but that's not useful on the fly.
[More after the break...
It doesn't help, then, when you have a team that nobody cares about getting eliminated for reasons that aren't very interesting. Rob & Sheila, Team Lumberjack, got sent home because they got some stupid instructions in Shanghai and then because they got outrun by Team Chippendales. Their mistakes or ignorance weren't worse than several other teams, but they happened to be slower than a pair of trained strippers, which is as good a reason to be eliminated as any. I'll miss Rob & Sheila, not because I liked them, but because I could tell Rob apart from Sheila and because I could tell Lumberjack Rob apart from Monster Truck Rob. In lieu of true emotional attachments, that's what I root based upon.
Instead, I don't have a clue what to talk with Rob & Sheila about in our exit interview tomorrow. Feel free to contribute suggestions.
Anywho...
The real drama in Sunday's "Amazing Race" was at the top.
CBS has been confusing people for weeks with the "The winning team could win $2 million," a semi-twist that I've tried to explain patiently, but which Phil Keoghan did far better with tonight. Put simply: If you win the first and last Legs of the Race, you get $2 million. So 10 teams were eliminated from the chance at $2 million.
Your only team with a shot at $2 million: That would be Abbie & Ryan, who are dating divorcees and if you'd asked me to look at the field and predict a winner before the start of the team, they'd have been my guess. The combination of athletic, Alpha Male and reasonably fit female-with-backbone has yielded more than a handful of "Amazing Race" winners or strong contenders. I anticipate that even if Abbie & Ryan don't win the $2 million, they're very likely to stick around the game long enough to produce drama. So... yay.
Abbie & Ryan needed a little help to put themselves in that position. They needed Mark & Abba, who finished the second Roadblock in the lead, to not have a clue what an "abacus" was. But more importantly, Abbie & Ryan relied on the kindness of near-strangers. Amy & Daniel found the woman with the abacus first, as everybody else was searching. When Abbie & Ryan inquired, Amy & Daniel pointed them in the right direction. Abbie & Ryan, in turn, caught up with Amy & Daniel in the foot-race to the Pit Stop and won the Leg and the shot at the double-bounty.
Let's get to the big questions surrounding this act of altruism:
Should Abbie & Ryan have let Amy & Daniel win the Leg as repayment for the assist? Heck no. There's no code of generosity that says that a gesture is worth a million dollars, even a hypothetical million. If this were a later Leg and the only things at stake were a jet-ski or a trip to Cabo, I could entertain chatter on whether Abbie & Ryan owed Amy & Daniel a karmic payoff. Abbie was properly apologetic as they passed and although Amy and Daniel had brief lamentations at the mat, they weren't bitter. Neither team knew that they were racing for first. Or they couldn't be certain, I don't think. But still... You can't pass along the chance to double an already substantial prize because you're appreciative.
The follow-up:
Should Amy & Daniel have told another team the truth about the abacus? "That's just the kinda people we are," Daniel said. Fair enough. Team Sri Lankan Twins and Team Roarke & Tattoo (Will & Gary) both lied to teams about the abacus woman. Life's all about choices.
Having already covered the last and first place teams and admitted I have no feelings about most of these pairs, I might as well quickly discuss the two Roadblocks. [A Double Roadblock is kinda the best possible circumstance for an hour-long premiere because both teammates do something and that helps clarify identities a wee bit. I thought Mark was Abba for the first half of the episode, but now I know better.]
The opening ping-pong Roadblock was fun, but much too easy. Yes, they were playing against a Chinese junior champion. And yes, she was using an assortment of random items, including a clipboard, a frying pan and, best of all, an "Amazing Race" clue. But one point is one point and although the voiceover talked about how they had to hit a winner, the clue only said "win a point," so if the junior champ goofed, that was that. It had to be more than a point. As it stood, Trey -- or Team Longhorns with Lexie -- was the only one who claimed talent. Natalie wasn't very good and, as a result of her difficulties, we got to be really annoyed by Nadiya yelling "Smash it! Smash it!" over and over.
The second Roadblock was an eating challenge that asked the players to eat a heaping portion of Hasma, a Chinese desert served in halves of a papaya. Hasma is, apparently, made from dried and then rehydrated frog Fallopian tubes. Of course. I don't know if they just got unlucky with the player assignments, but nobody was grossed out and nobody was overwhelmed by the quantity of hasma. In fact, when Monster Truck Rob broke the rule regarding eating the hasma without picking up the papaya and had to eat a second full serving, he was able to do it with a bare minimum of drama. In an eating challenge, you want people whining or throwing up or threatening to quit. Nobody seemed to love the hasma, but everybody succeeded in mind-over-matter gusto, particularly Jaymes.
The problem with the two Roadblocks is that neither was really a differentiator in the episode. The episode rewarded knowing what an abacus was and finding a woman using it. Finishing positions were only based on getting lost locating that last clue and people getting on a first flight rather than a second flight. So while there was some drama in Abbie & Ryan running down the competition for first and in Team Chippendales running down the competition to avoid elimination, I don't know who does anything well.
Random thoughts on Sunday's premiere:
*** Lexi appears to have confused Fallopian tubes with intestines. She also may or may not have called an abacus an octopus. Oh and if you're curious about Trey's football career at Texas? He was a long-snapper.
*** Best Fallopian tube-based dialogue: Ryan: "Haven't you had Fallopian tube, Abbie?" Abbie: "I have two, but please don't eat mine."
*** James & Jaymes may have the same sort of gung-ho attitude (and blissful stupidity) that made the Jersey Boys kinda fun last season. I expected to dislike them, but Jaymes hamsa performance, actually slurping the last of his tubes off the table, made me more accepting.
*** Superfans Gary and Will would have been my default team to root for, but Gary's kinda loud and whiney. Maybe he was just getting his feet wet. Or maybe it was the edit.
OK. That's it for me... Sound off, fans and readers!
A long-time member of the TCA Board and a longer-time blogger of "American Idol," Dan Fienberg writes about TV, except for when he writes about movies or sometimes writes about the Red Sox. But never music. He would sound stupid talking about music.
Trending Now on HitFix Boards
| Topic | Started By | Latest Post | Replies |
|---|---|---|---|
| LianeBonin |
27 days ago
|
2
|
|
| LianeBonin |
10 months ago
|
3
|
|
| Discuss Reality TV on HitFix Message Boards » | |||
News From Our Partners
-
Rihanna Bares Butt on Instagram [Pic]
Kid Ink to Release 'Almost Home' EP on May 28, Tour With Kendrick Lamar
Justin Bieber's 'Baby' Is Highest-Certified Single in History, But His Monkey Is No Longer His
-
What to Watch Tonight: The Season Premiere of Rookie Blue and the Series Premieres of Save Me, Showville, and Does Someone Have to Go?
What to Watch Tonight: The Season Finales of SVU, The Middle, Modern Family, Chicago Fire, Nashville, and Criminal Minds
The Critics Choice Awards Nominations Choose Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad
-
Jennifer Aniston Strips In New Movie
AMC Boss Reveals Plans For 'The Walking Dead's' Future
Amy's Baking Co. Owner Facing Deportation?
-
Interview: Arrested Development’s Jeffrey Tambor on the show’s return and inevitable movie
Gateways To Geekery: An initiation into the psychedelic sci-fi rock of Hawkwind
Hear This: You don’t have to know the words to have fun with this Stone Temple Pilots single
-
Netflix's 'Hemlock Grove': Is Season 2 in the Cards?
'Arrow' Season 2: What Major Scene Was Cut From the Finale?
J.J. Abrams Adresses 'Star Trek Into Darkness' Underwear Scene by Showing Benedict Cumberbatch Showering
-
Total Recall: Bradley Cooper's Best Movies
Parental Guidance: Epic and Beautiful Creatures
Comic Book Movies You Can Watch Online
-
The Telefile - Modern Family: Goodnight, Gracie. Hello, Series Highlight.
The Telefile - Critics' Choice Television Awards 2013: Nominees Announced
The Telefile - TV on DVD: Tuesday, May 21, 2013
-
'The World's End' Trailer: Pints, Pals, and Killer Robots!
Francis Ford Coppola Directing New Italian-American Saga
'Don Jon' Trailer: Joseph-Gordon Levitt and Scarlett Johansson Go Jersey
Latest Posts
-
Something seems to be wrong with Norman BatesTuesday, May 21, 2013
-
Dan and Alan talk 'Goodwin Games,' 'Motive,' 'Behind the Candelabra' and moreMonday, May 20, 2013
-
Would Nikita kill the President or not?Saturday, May 18, 2013
-
Dan and Alan talk upfronts, reality and 'The Office' finaleFriday, May 17, 2013
Recent Activity on Facebook
Most Popular on Facebook
Top Stories From Around the Web
Comments
Option 1
Comment instantly as a guest GuestOption 2
Option 3
Login or create a HitFix account Login Signuprugman11
September 30, 2012 at 11:13PM EST Reply to CommentHere's my help for your team recognition:
Natalie wears a nose RING, Nadia wears a nose STUD.
James has a full beard, Abba has a goatee and sideburns.
Jaymes has a ridiculous southern country accent (and is also the one who talks a lot).
For the blonde girls, you're on your own.
I was pretty disappointed in this leg for many of the reasons you mentioned. With such short tasks (20-30 minutes), there's no real standings movement except for people getting lost, and that's just not as fun to watch as people arriving at a task after everybody else and trying to play catch-up (with a reasonable chance of doing so). Instead we got the monster truckers wasting an hour at the stadium, the Chippendales wasting an hour at the park, and the goat herders somehow moving from last to 7th for no discernible reason.
I found myself oddly rooting for the Ja(y)meses at the end, which I didn't expect. Maybe it's Jaymes's accent.
dan Rugman11 - You call that a full beard, what James has? Feh. They've both got Man-Stripper-Scruff. And I blame the Slingbox screen that Natalie's ring and Nadyia's stud looked the same...
September 30, 2012 at 11:50PM ESTIt was weird that we weren't really able to tell how the Beekman Boys went from last to 7th, wasn't it? Ah, the Emmy nominated Amazing Race editing!
-Daniel
Andrew
September 30, 2012 at 11:35PM EST Reply to Comment20 seasons ago, they had to win five points against the child champion. And the champion got to keep their racket.
I miss those days.
Dezbot
October 1, 2012 at 12:23AM EST Reply to CommentAsk Rob if he ever sings "The Lumberjack Song" while working :-)
The 7th Guest
October 1, 2012 at 1:36AM EST Reply to CommentI liked the twins, the metal dudes, and Amy & Daniel. Indifferent to everyone else, except for Abbie & Ryan, who I am actively rooting against. And I get the feeling my opinions of these teams will change dramatically over the course of the next few weeks, so I completely agree that a one-hour Amazing Race premiere is fairly useless.
Kujo
October 1, 2012 at 7:12AM EST Reply to CommentThe lack of diversity in this season's cast is disappointing.
I will say I do like that there is a lot more fit/physical teams this season.
The premiere should definitely be at least 90 minutes. It seems random when the premieres have been at least this long. I think they're have been few 2 hour season premieres.
teapot37
October 1, 2012 at 8:26AM EST Reply to CommentDan, I seem to remember that the poker players from a few years back also had wheeled backpacks.
teapot37
October 1, 2012 at 8:26AM EST Reply to CommentDan, I seem to remember that the poker players from a few years back also had wheeled backpacks.Write a comment...
jesse
October 1, 2012 at 9:01AM EST Reply to CommentDan, the Clown couple from season 20 had rolling luggage as well. But it was simple mathematics that doomed that team.
Andy
October 1, 2012 at 9:57AM EST Reply to CommentThe fallopian tubes retort that Abbie had for her partner definitely made me like her of all the contestants the most so far. Other than being a shallow human being and finding her attractive.
With a $2million incentive and your aforementioned hallmarks of a strong team, at this early stage, I can certainly note that I'm happy they should stick around for a while. They definitely seem to have the right competencies about them to do so.
...Cue dropping their passport in the Ganges in two weeks time.
Robin
October 1, 2012 at 10:33AM EST Reply to CommentI agree that an ideal premiere would be 2 hours, but at least a 1 hour premiere eliminates a lot of airport drama filler that winds up in a lot of the later legs.
Teams I instantly liked: The James(s), James and Abba, Ryan and Abbie (mainly because of that fallopian tube line AND she knew what an abacus was).
Teams I don't instantly hate: pretty much all of them except Team Texas. If she runs through the entire race screaming yeehaw I might have to watch with the sound muted.
The one thing I really liked about the way the leg was structured is that they threw people immediately into a rappeling challenge. From a TV standpoint, it was a lot of confusion and jumbled conversations, but from a Race standpoint it allowed some of the teams who are probably going to be bottom-feeders to migrate that way naturally, rather than have it left up to traffic on the way to LAX.
One thing to ask Team Lumberjack -- did the directions they got really send them that far out of the way? On TV it looked like the bank they went to was right across the street from the place they were supposed to be anyway.
SaveFarris
October 1, 2012 at 12:47PM EST Reply to Comment* Noone's instantly hateable, but Philimenated Rob came REAL close with his "You didn't choose me. I chose you." That's not romantic, that's super creepy.
* Team Farmer: Well, are they or aren't they? The episode seemed especially coy on the subject.
* STOP WITH THE HASHTAGS ALREADY!
Dezbot I agree about the hashtags. Why the eff do I want to read what people are saying on Twitter when I'm WATCHING THE DAMN SHOW ON TV!?
October 2, 2012 at 2:08PM ESTmike dillon
October 1, 2012 at 3:42PM EST Reply to CommentDid you feel the ping-pong challenge was a little racist? I couldn't tell if they thought the young player was a he or she and the graphics of when the little girl won seemed a bit off.
Andrew The challenge was not (it's kind of a big deal in China), the player's hair cut was androgynous, but that's not that rare in China by my understanding.
October 1, 2012 at 5:21PM ESTThe graphics bothered me a little too. It was very much of a piece with the stuff they do in Japan hehe wacky game shows which is already lame, but... in China. Which is not Japan. Nor was this a wacky game show.
Gregory Gregson
October 1, 2012 at 7:53PM EST Reply to CommentLike you, I was annoyed by Nadiya yelling, but I quite liked Natalie making the people in the restaurant root for Nadiya, so I guess I can overlook what Nadiya did earlier for now. They might be my favorite team if they keep being the enthusiastic people we saw on the restaurant or the bickering team we saw during the ping pong task. The fact that they lied to the other team about where the clue was also makes me like them a bit more. We'll see.
Couldn't see any noticeable quality about the rest of the players. Obviously Sara is impressive, but I didn't get to see her personality and I thought it was really stupid what they did there. Lexi and Trey were also stupid by telling the stripers where the clue was. They could have eliminated the biggest physical threat of the competition.
Gregory Gregson Oops, I meant Amy instead of Sara. Can't even remember their names, tsc tsc.
October 1, 2012 at 8:48PM ESTBobman
October 2, 2012 at 10:25AM EST Reply to CommentCan I ask a stupid question? Dating divorcees means they're both independently divorced and now dating each other, not that they got divorced from each other and then rekindled their relationship post-divorce, right?
lordvar1
October 4, 2012 at 10:48PM EST Reply to CommentI was able to differentiate Jaymes and James by looking closely at their bodies. Jaymes seems to have a more chiseled body, the eye candy type, has a stronger core rendering for a tighter set of abs, and looks like a natural slim, while James is the one with the more realistic body, the tongue candy type, has a nicer pair of breasts, and looks like someone who'll get flabby in the absence of maintenance. Of the two, James is the one I want to go pingponging my tubes because I prefer my meat to have some major juice.