Cannes Film Festival 2013

Recap: 'American Idol' - Top 9: Results

Who will follow Curtis out the 'Idol' door? Or is another surprise in store?

<p>Janelle Arthur of "American Idol"</p>

Janelle Arthur of "American Idol"

Credit: FOX

Welcome to "American Idol" Thursday, also known as "That thing you can watch the last five minutes of after surfing through the four NCAA Tournament Games currently on TV."

After Wednesday night's show, I'm curious who America will have rejected, but I'm also curious about what's happening in the NCAA Tournament games, so click through and witness the glories of my split attention span!

8:00 p.m. ET. We're starting with a "Godfather"-esque Jimmy Iovine introduction. It''s weird. And pointless. But it does feature Janelle Arthur, the singer I've decided isn't going home tonight. So there's that!

8:02 p.m. That is a very, very pink dress that Nicki Minaj is wearing. 

8:02 p.m. "We could be in store for a surprise," Ryan says. Hmmm... This concerns me a little.

8:04 p.m. We're getting NeYo with Jessica Sanchez tonight, as well as a performance from Casey Abrams.

8:03 p.m. Jimmy found last night confusing, particularly the highly complimentary judges. "Critique as good as long as it's consistent. What you can't do is coddle people," Jimmy says. Now Kree? Jimmy likes her and he's fine with the judges coddling her, though he says she "tends to oversing at times." Jimmy enjoys Burnell's tone and calls it a great recovery from not knowing the song. He also says people should know the Beatles. Will he call Mariah out for her Beatles ignorance? He calls Lazaro "easily the worst performance of the night," which is a no-brainer. He calls it "out-of-tune and out-of-rhythm,"  which is also correct. Jimmy also THROWS LAZARO UNDER THE BUS, saying that he'd worked with Lazaro on the song five days earlier. Nice, Jimmy. He thought Amber did a wonderful job with her song, saying she's in the Top 3. Jimmy does not, however, criticize Mariah for not knowing "She's Leaving Home." Jimmy says Candice gave the best performance of the night. So far, I'm not sure where he's differing from the judges. "Paul has a really good voice, but for me, he's not ready for primetime," Jimmy says of Mr. Jolley, who he predicts for the Bottom Three. Jimmy criticizes Angie for over-dramatizing "Yesterday." He's right about what I called Cosette sings The Beatles. Jimmy thinks Devin has a great ear, but he thought Devin was middle-of-the-pack. And, finally, Jimmy thinks it was "a great song choice" by Janelle, who he calls his dark horse. Hmmm... So Jimmy said almost exactly what the judges said about nearly ever performer last night. 

8:11 p.m. Results! Amber Holcomb is up first, preceded with rehearsal footage of of the singer trying to make it down the fog-shrouded steps. This is terrific. Can we get rehearsal bloopers for everybody? Watching Amber giggle through the fog is wonderfully endearing. America voted -- no vote count tonight -- and... no results.

8:14 p.m. South Dakota State and Michigan looks like a good game to watch during the commercial break. Go Jackrabbits!

8:16 p.m. EW. Beatles-Desecrating Group Lip Synch. The arrangement with the cheesy brass ensemble astoundingly bad. This is definitely NCAA Tournament Time. Because you can't expect me to believe that that was Lazaro singing live? Yeah. Not a chance.

8:18 p.m. And that was only the guys. Ugh. Paul has to remain at center stage. He is told that last Saturday was Paul Jolley Day in his hometown. That's the good news. The bad news is that Paul is in the Bottom Three. As well he should be. Off to the Stools of Shame for Paul.

8:22 p.m. Casey Abrams time! I'm disappointed he didn't bring Haley Reinhart with him. But he did bring his standing bass. And his Chester A. Arthur mustache. This is much better than anything the "Idol" Men did last night. It's hilarious that Casey Abrams was something that happened on "American Idol." He's so very talented and so very strange in this context. I have no idea what he's doing here tonight, but that was a fine way to spend three minutes.

8:30 p.m. The Girls' Group Lip-Synch is at least a bit less over-the-top than the earlier one. This is just five young women who can sing sitting on stools singing a Beatles song. That's not so bad. Whether it's live or not, these five are much better at singing together than any of the groups fabricated on "X Factor." 

8:31 p.m. Back to Results. Devin Velez had a rough day yesterday and he's proud of how he did. He's also in the Bottom Three. That's OK if Lazaro Arbos is there as well. It's his turn now. He says the judges were right for the most part with their criticisms. Nicki tells him he needs to be passionate about what he's singing. And guess what? America voted and Lazaro is safe. Ugh. Come on, America. Not even Bottom Three? Really? 

8:36 p.m. OK. This is concerning me a little. Plus, it's time for me to switch to a different basketball game. Cal-UNLV, anybody?

8:38 p.m. Has Jessica Sanchez's life REALLY done a 180? She's been singing and modeling and she's gonna be on "Glee." And she's huge in the Philippines. 

8:40 p.m. Singing "Tonight," it's Jessica Sanchez and NeYo. This is... not a good song. Or... it's not a song for me. How about that?

8:48 p.m. Lazaro is the ONLY person safe so far. Ponder that.

8:48 p.m. The next person to safety is... Kree Harrison. Also safe is... Candice Glover. The next person to safety is... Angie Miller. Janelle Arthur is safe, so I don't have to change my picture with this recap. That means either Amber or Burnell is in the Bottom Three.

8:50 p.m. Burnell Taylor is safe. That puts Amber in the Bottom Three. You may recall I semi-predicted that.

8:51 p.m. "I'm really shocked that Amber's in the Bottom Three," Randy says. I'm not! But I hope that's the shock Ryan was referring to earlier and that Paul goes home now...

8:54 p.m. Nicki thinks it's "common sense" that Amber shouldn't be in the Bottom Three, but tells her that now she has to sell it every time.

8:55 p.m. The person singing for the Save is... PAUL JOLLEY.

8:56 p.m. Ha. Paul's gonna sing for the Save. Tee-hee.

8:57 p.m. Randy and Keith are talking about dinner plans. 

8:58 p.m. Nicki is contemplating traffic on her drive home.

8:58 p.m. "Unfortunately, Ryan, it's not unanimous, no," Randy says. That's a total lie. Of course it was unanimous. In any case, farewell to Paul Jolley. He probably should have gone home next week, but if America wants to insist on loving Lazaro, that's how this goes...

Are you OK with America's choice?

Dan-feinberg-sm
Daniel Fienberg
Executive Editor
A long-time member of the TCA Board and a longer-time blogger of "American Idol," Dan Fienberg writes about TV, except for when he writes about movies or sometimes writes about the Red Sox. But never music. He would sound stupid talking about music.

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  • Default-avatar

    Scout

    A surprise?! Noooooo. I can't take it. Kree? Candice? What?! Those are the two that would hurt. Oh, Ryan!

    March 21, 2013 at 8:21PM EST Reply to Comment
    • Gizmo_bigger_talkback_profile

      dan Scout - Kree or Candice would get Saved, at least...

      -Daniel

      March 21, 2013 at 8:28PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    C-Man

    Casey Abrams would have probably finished 2nd behind Candice if he had performed last night.

    March 21, 2013 at 8:25PM EST Reply to Comment
    • Gizmo_bigger_talkback_profile

      dan C-Man - Sounds about right. I wish we had somebody with his brand of weirdness this season... It's a very straight-forward group...

      -Daniel

      March 21, 2013 at 8:29PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Scout I know. Right. It was great!

      March 21, 2013 at 8:33PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Chester Cheese

    Well, I'm placing bets on Devin leaving...

    March 21, 2013 at 8:33PM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    C-Man

    Jessica hasn't learned to dance in her year away from Idol. But she is significantly tarted-up for 17.

    March 21, 2013 at 8:43PM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Scout Tarted-up. LOL. She always looks like a little girl to me...

      March 21, 2013 at 8:57PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    C-Man

    Lazaro had to take someone's spot.

    March 21, 2013 at 8:53PM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    Son of Mecha Mummy

    Thank god Paul Jolley is gone. Shouldn't have made it this far to begin with.

    March 21, 2013 at 8:59PM EST Reply to Comment
  • Nyy_bluebg_avatar_talkback_profile

    JC

    I'm annoyed that Lazaro is safe yet again (not even Bottom 3? Really America?!), and yet, I don't mind that Curtis and Paul are gone. Kinda says it all about the guys this year.

    March 21, 2013 at 9:04PM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    Michelle

    The best thing about tonight's episode was this recap.

    March 21, 2013 at 9:30PM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Spot on!

      March 23, 2013 at 4:04PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    GrammaK

    Lazaro came in 4th last week, and he cried last night, so he's not going home for a bit. I wonder, though, if he's the reason they didn't rank anyone tonight (except for the Bottom 3). Casey's Belushi Samurai Bun and Modern Major General muttonchops were almost as entertaining as his version of I Saw Her Standing There.

    March 21, 2013 at 10:49PM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    Evdoxia

    Daniel, I like that you keep it real, without having to enter complete snark territory.
    Thanks for the recaps. :)

    March 22, 2013 at 7:57AM EST Reply to Comment

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