'The Hangover'

Credit: Warner Bros

It's Sloppy Comedy Weekend at the box office!

While there are at least four credited screenwriters on new releases "The Hangover" and "Land of the Lost," both films stumble along with the sense that they were completely and totally improvised, leaving the editor to find a story and a rhythm in post-production. 

This works to the benefit of "The Hangover," which has the anything-can-happen flow of an R-rated indie, but produces a strange and unengaging mix in "Land of the Lost," which proves that big-budget, effects-heavy blockbusters require a tighter leash.

Slightly longer reviews of both movies after the break...

Mark Feuerstein of 'Royal Pains'

Credit: USA Network

Professional sports teams are prone to recycling the same coaches or managers, with a manager's value often seeming to be out of proportion to the achievement of their teams on the field. A Jim Fregosi -- 15 seasons, losing record, three post-season appearances, no titles -- will always get work because the theory is that when his teams have lost, it's been the players or the organization that were at fault and that he got the best out of what he had. And when a Joe Torre arrives in New York as a journeyman manager and leaves as a legend, it seems to validate the whole theory.

Television casting works the same way. The same actors pop up as leads on pilots every single year and then the pilots don't get picked up. Or they're in pilots that get picked up every year, but then get cancelled. Sure, they're called "showkillers" often, but every time George Clooney gets his "E.R." or Jon Cryer lands his "Two and a Half Men," it seems to validate the practice, by suggesting that these actors always had star potential, but they needed the right vehicle or supporting cast or whatever.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mark Feuerstein, star of "Fired Up," "Conrad Bloom," "Good Morning, Miami" and "3 Lbs," presumptive cinematic romantic lead of "Woman on Top" and "In Her Shoes." Networks and studios keep giving Feuerstein different projects because at one time or another everybody has liked him in something and he conveys the impression of being a genuinely good guy, so you have to figure that the long string of failures were all about context and not about Feuerstein. Or that's the thinking.

The USA series "Royal Pains" is another show built around Feuerstein's allegedly inherent likability, an asset I suspect is far more likely to carry a show on basic cable, even one as otherwise slight and conventional as this one.

["Royal Pains" review after the break...]

Mylène Dinh-Robic and Craig Olejnik of 'The Listener'

Credit: NBC

When we were kids, we all played superheroes in the backyard. No matter what powers we decided to give ourselves, they were the coolest things ever and they were only gateways to more action and excitement. Oh, we were innocent and stupid.

The new thinking has gone a different way. Perhaps "With great power comes great responsibility" started the trend, but with each year, it's become more and more evident that being able to do anything outside-of-the-norm isn't cool at all. It's actually an oppressive imposition, an inconvenience that doesn't just keep you from living a regular life, it prevents you from having any sort of fun at all, from having any sense of humor. It turns out that being special really sucks and the Hollywood dreamweavers have put great effort into sucking all of the "super" from "superpowers."

The latest and perhaps least-entertaining iteration on this theme is "The Listener," a Canadian production getting summer primetime real estate courtesy of NBC and premiering on Thursday, June 4.

[Review after the break...]

Heidi and Spencer Pratt

Credit: Dan Steinberg/AP

If Spencer Pratt were more of a student of American History (or basic reading, writing and arithmetic, for that matter), his final words to the "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here" cameras on Tuesday (June 2) night might have been "You won't have Pratt to kick around anymore."

America's least favorite knucklehead whackjob and his airhead bride Heidi bailed on NBC's "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here" on Tuesday after two episodes. It was a moment so fake and contrived it made Sunday's Bruno-on-Eminem conflict look spontaneous.

As voting for eliminations was held in their absence at the end of the episode, they can no longer legitimately participate in the game anymore. If you believe, however, that Spencer and Heidi will never be seen again on "I'm a Celebrity," you probably also believe that Janis Dickinson's lips are real, that Sanjaya is, as his bio states, a "pop star" and that this is where Lou Diamond Phillips expected his career to go after "La Bamba" and "Stand and Deliver."

A popular commercial tells me that happy cows come from California, but NBC knows that cash cows also come from the Golden State, more specifically from The Hills.

[More quick thoughts on a show I'd already vowed never to watch a second time...]

Conan O'Brien of 'The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien'

Credit: NBC

Jay Leno's final episode as host of "The Tonight Show," which aired last Friday, included his old reliable standby, Jaywalking. More than anything Leno did, that oft-repeated bit, stupid people in Los Angeles being a renewable resource, came to represent his version of "The Tonight Show" for me. It was an easy joke, a lazy joke, but it was also a comforting joke that never asked you to work very hard to laugh at it and with it. 

Given how associated Jaywalking was with "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," it was hard not to feel that Conan O'Brien was immediately throwing down the gauntlet in the opening segment of his first episode of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien." In the filmed segment, Conan realized that he'd forgotten to get to the last thing on his pre-"Tonight Show" To Do List, "Move to LA." Unable to catch a cab in Manhattan, Conan started running. He sprinted through Amish country. He ran across Wrigley Field. He zipped by Las Vegas and pounded the pavement through the desert. He ran all the way up to Stage One at Universal Studios and, when he realized he'd left his keys in Gotham, he hopped behind the wheels of a box-loader and went right through the wall.

Conan's been waiting for this transition for five years and the opening bit reflected his urgency, in contrast to his predecessor's occasional complacency or, at the very least, Leno's relaxed gait. 

I laughed more at Conan's Monday (June 1) "Tonight Show" premiere than I've laughed at Leno in years, though, as would absolutely be expected, it's still very much a work in progress.

[More thoughts on the premiere after the break...]

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Pratt of 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here'

Credit: NBC

I think I've mentioned this before, but one of my simple and cardinal rules as a critic goes like this: If you haven't seen something, you aren't allowed to insult it in print, at least not its quality.

This is why, no matter juicy a punchline might seem to be, you will never hear me call a movie "Worse than 'White Chicks'" or a reality show "More desperate and embarrassing than 'The Bachelorette.'"

And that is why, on Monday (June 1) night when I could have gone to the gym, taken in a movie, read a book or tended to my potted tree, I was watching NBC's "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here." Because if I want to be able to rant about NBC's latest contribution to the death of network programming -- a difficult task given summer's already parched wasteland --  I have to put in at least a little effort beforehand.

The disappointment is that as bad as "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here" is, it clearly isn't the death of network programming. You know this and I know this, even if my love for hyperbole commands me to say otherwise. What is is, though, is a mixture of strident annoyance and  poorly produced tedium. 

[Review of Monday's two-hour "I'm a Celebrity..." premiere after the break.]

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Taylor Lautner at the MTV Movie Awards

Credit: Chris Pizzello/AP

Live, from my couch just 45 minutes away from the Gibson Amphitheatre in Universal City, where the air-conditioning is ineffective and the parking is brutal, it's the 18th Annual MTV Movie Awards live-blog, recording all of the winners, losers and extraneous performances from Sunday's (May 31) event...

Follow along... Comment... Join the party!

8:58 p.m. ET I'm shocked -- SHOCKED, I tell you -- that Kristin Cavallari had the nerve to show up at Whitney's wedding. The only way I could be more shocked is if I knew who Whitney was or cared who Kristin Cavallari is.

9:01 p.m. The cerimony opens with a filmed bit. Host Andy Samberg is talking to Barack Obama in the gross toilet from "Slumdog Millionaire" and does a dive into a pool of filth, curing Carrie from "Sex and the City" as his inspiration. He's transported into "Twilight," where his sewage stench causes Edward to nearly puke. But it excites random classmate Taylor Swift. Zoom into "The Reader," where Kate Winslet demands he take off his cloths and hop into a bath. He's about to get intimate with his Nazi bathmaid, when Aziz Ansari beams him naked onto the Enterprise. On to Justin Timberlake's limo and "Motherlove" and "Dick in a Box" references. Finally, Timberlake introduces Samberg live on the stage.

9:05 p.m. How many times will we see Robert Pattinson in the crowd tonight? There's one...

[Full minute-by-minute recap after the break...]

'Expedition Africa'

Credit: History Channel

Though Mark Burnett has produced shows as different as "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" and "On the Lot" and "Rock Star," his original credits were on the "Eco Challenge" franchise and many of his subsequent shows have been variations on that theme. "Survivor" is "Eco Challenge" for lazy, scheming people. "Pirate Master" was "Eco Challenge" with swashbucklers (and Christian Okoye). "The Apprentice" was "Eco Challenge" in the urban jungle. 

Now, Mark Burnett Productions is behind History Channel's "Expedition Africa: Stanley & Livingstone," which is "Eco Challenge" for intellectually curious viewers. Based on early episodes, "Expedition Africa" is more exciting than most unscripted summer options, with an added bonus: If you don't watch out, you may actually learn something.

[Review of "Expedition Africa" after the break...]

'The Goode Family'

Credit: ABC

For more than 12 years and 250-plus episodes, FOX's "King of the Hill" has been perhaps TV's most most politically pragmatic show, a Red State comedy with the ability to simultaneously mock and admire conservative values, while also mocking and admiring those who mock those values. I've always thought the show leans left, but I've read articles claiming it leans right, which probably means that its politics can be described as "sensible."

ABC's "The Goode Family," which premieres on Wednesday (May 27) night, finds "King of the Hill" veterans Mike Judge, John Altschuler and Dave Krinsky, approaching the family dynamic from the other side. "The Goode Family" finds a way to revere and yet mercilessly taunt ultra-well-meaning liberals in another pragmatic satire that doesn't make assumptions about the audience's ideology. It just assumes that you come equipped with any ideology at all.

[Review of "The Goode Family" after the break...]

Ray Wise of 'Reaper'

Credit: Jack Rowand/The CW

Before watching tonight's "Reaper" season/probably-series finale, I caught up on last week's season finale for "One Tree Hill," a show I hate but watch anyway. The contrasts couldn't have been greater.

Even though the "OTH" team wrote the season finale with full expectation of being renewed for another year (if not in perpetuity, given The CW's overall lackluster ratings and the show's protean ability to reinvent itself without any variation in quality), they wrapped up every storyline in a nice, happy, redemptive bow. It was an hour of hugging, reunions, "I Love Yous" and "I'm Sorrys." Why anybody, myself included, would every feel the need to watch another episode is beyond me. Is there such a thing as an anti-cliffhanger? Where instead of ending things by driving off a cliff, you end things by pulling into your garage, unbuckling your seatbeat and taking the key out of the ignition? "One Tree Hill" did the latter.

The "Reaper" finale was presumably written before a single episode aired this season, when the writers weren't exactly sure why they'd been given a second season at all and didn't have any expectation of a third season. With no real future to count on, they could have aimed the story toward a finale that sent the fans home content. Instead, with five minutes to go in Tuesday's (May 26) finale, with the potential of concluding and ending on a happy note, the writers chose to push the show in a new direction for its third season. The problem? The CW didn't renew "Reaper" and the rumors of a possible syndicated/affiliate-generated reprieve feel really unlikely.

So that's the way you wanted to end things, "Reaper"? I can deal with it.

[Some thoughts on the finale -- not a recap, but with spoilers -- after the break...]