What if "Gotham" was not the TV series that so many of us thought we needed back in the fall, but what if Bruno Heller's twisty comic book drama has become the TV series we deserve now?
Look, if you're going to get hung up on Batman mythology, I'm powerless to tell you that "Gotham" became or ever will become a show that will make you happy.
It's a prequel that almost cannot possibly ever line up with the version of the Caped Crusader that we know from either DC Comics, from the Christopher Nolan films or the early Tim Burton films. And that's frustrating. I can't tell you that it isn't.
The Penguin is rising! The Riddler is cracking! Somebody who may or may not be The Joker is becoming dangerously unhinged! Even Harvey Dent looks to be a couple bum coin flips away from dementia.
And Bruce Wayne doesn't look like he can do a push-up, much less a pull-up, much less work the salmon ladder, which The CW's version of the DC Universe has taught us we require in a masked hero. He's just a kid and barring a summertime growth spurt from David Mazouz, I'm not going to be willing to accept him stopping food-fights as a junior high lunchroom monitor, much less fighting crime.
The youth of wee Bruce Wayne has mocked viewers through the first season of "Gotham" and I don't see how that's going to change in a hurry. And I also get the feeling that series creator Bruno Heller has been mocking us with the character's juvenility, inserting a halting barely pubescent flirtation between Bruce and Selina Kyle to instigate head-explosions amongst the core fanboy audience. There's a certain madcap audacity to staging a "She's All That"-style moment in which Bruce Wayne is forced to do a double-take at the all-prettied up Selina seconds before going to a formal ball with a character who we think is supposed to be his future nemesis.
And if you're a stickler for established character canon, there's just no way you're ever going to reconcile yourself to what Heller and company are doing on "Gotham." The alleged eventual hero is a fetus, the current hero doesn't even have a mustache, while our villains are ascending in ever more grotesque manners. If "Criminal Minds" has convinced us that there are 200+ active serial killers in the United States working and evolving at all times, "Gotham" seems to be suggesting that there are dozens of fledgling supervillains using Gotham as a pupa. "Gotham" is chaos.
But you know what? When "Gotham" is truly strutting it stuff, I dig it.