I want Hayley from "The Amazing Race" to be my new Waze voice.
Is that so much to ask?
FOX keeps teasing me with Waze voices from their shows -- Terry Crews, Tom Mison, Will Forte -- and then pulling them for no good reason. Right now I'm using Vlade Divac and as funny as Vlade has been at times over the years, his directions aren't amusing me and he bumbles "left" and "right" in ways that leave me a bit perplexed, which would cause a real problem were it not for the reality that I rely on Waze to give me a few major points, but I often ignore the little things, like when Waze tries to get me to take left turns onto crowded intersections without lights.
I want Hayley from "The Amazing Race" as my Waze voice so that she can keep telling me the correct way to go and I can follow my own path and every time I shoot by her preferred street, she can shriek at me and as I keep driving further and further past, she can tell me to slow down and listen to her, pausing only to swoon about different cute guys walking down to street, and finally she can just give up and yell, "I'm always right and you never listen!"
Yup. I want Hayley from "The Amazing Race" to be my new Waze voice.
I wonder how long it would take for me to have the hollowed-out eyes and shell-shocked expression that Blair is sporting at this point, a mien that says "If I win a million dollars, this will have been totally worth it, but if somehow we don't win and all we get is one stupid trip somewhere... TOGETHER... I'm gonna utterly snap on Phil Keoghan."
That's my major takeaway from Friday (April 24) night's episode of "The Amazing Race."
What? You got something more dramatic from the episode? Liar.
More after the break...