Because why NOT make Disney's Tower of Terror ride into a movie, they're making Disney's Tower of Terror ride into a movie. Or at least, they're trying (allegedly).

Ever since the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies made 9 billion gajillion dollars at the box office, Walt Disney Pictures has been searching desperately for their next amusement park ride-turned-blockbuster movie franchise, and the results have been...bad. They've been bad, you guys. I'm not going to sugarcoat this.

Cases in point: "The Haunted Mansion." (Bad.) "The Country Bears." (Bad.) "Tomorrowland." (Bad.)

But they're not giving up! Those intrepid Disney executives are going to find the next mega-hit franchise if it kills them. They are literally sweating over this. Pools of sweat, everywhere. They are drowning in it, people. HELP THEM.

A few other things you need to know:

1. The project was first rumored in 2009.

2. Tim Burton's frequent screenwriter John August ("Big Fish," "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory") wrote the outline, which is described as "a more fun than scary family adventure a la 'The Goonie's or 'ET,' though retaining the inherent spookiness of the premise and injecting Burton-esque creepiness." In other words: they want literally every living person to see this.

3. The Tower of Terror (less commonly known as the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror) is a featured attraction at four different Disney parks. I can attest that it is actually terrifying. As in, I screamed a number of times and begged them to make it stop.

4. The rough plotline of the attraction (at least the American and European versions of it) concerns the mysterious disappearance of a group of hotel guests after the hotel elevator they're riding in is struck by lightning. Rod Serling, one of my favorite unconventional sex symbols, narrates.

5. The ride was previously adapted into a made-for-TV film starring the irrepressible duo of Steve Guttenberg and Kirsten Dunst.

And that's it! Fun for the whole family! etc. This is gonna be huge.

[via The Tracking Board]

A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.