'80s sitcom opening credit sequences: oh, how we miss them! They were the product of a less self-aware age, and brilliantly parodied in last year's Dada-esque viral sensation "Too Many Cooks."

Now, horror-comedy inventor Ryan Murphy is also paying cheeky homage to the fourth-wall-breaking tradition of "Full House" and the like with the just-released extended opening credits sequence for "Scream Queens." But wait, where's Ariana? Where's Nick Jonas? Where, pray tell, is O.G. scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis?

Let's face it: Ariana and Nick are toast. Their names aren't even in the title sequence! Can you say "very special guest star"?

A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.