Beachbody is a reality show features a group of 20'somethings competing to win the title of “Beachbody Super Trainer.” It’s just an awful, awful prize. I know, you saw the video above, so you heard them say the winner has the “opportunity to earn millions of dollars” but it's just some shim sham language that gives them an out. Technically, everyone has an opportunity to win millions of dollars. The winner also has the opportunity to start their own commune or become the lead in the next generation of Harry Potter movies. I mean anything is possible if we believe in ourselves. But c’mon. Let’s not kid ourselves. These poor, sexy trainers deserve better.

In general, reality show prizes are way too stingy. Open up the bank account, cheap producers! Why is Big Brother’s prize only 500k?  Why is Survivor only a million? It seems like a lot but it doesn’t go as far as it used to. Some winners waste that money on alcohol within a year.  This shouldn’t be possible. It should take a few more years to fritter that money away on trips to Ibiza. Add another zero. Big Brother’s prize should be five million. Survivor’s prize should be ten million. We need to up the stakes! Imagine how much more cutthroat these games would be if it were real, life-changing money on the line?

These Beachbody people are working hard for our entertainment. And for what? A title that means nothing. I can tell people I am the Beachbody Super Trainer and no one would know any different. Yes, some might suspect it’s not true, but are they going to check? No. Give these trainers a million dollars each for participating. Make the winner the trainer to the Pope. Then we’ll watch.