Sam Smith, the new and obvious choice for a Bond theme performer, just released "Writing's on the Wall," the theme for the upcoming "Spectre." But does it have us shaking and stirring? 

It appears that "Skyfall" has set a dangerous precedent. Though there's usually an austere feel to Bond themes, they're rarely as drama-free and mournful as what we're hearing now. Honestly, I've already forgotten what "Writing's on the Wall" sounds like. Smith was dishing out his familiar Winnie-the-Pooh-is-lonely-and-crying vocals, and the instrumentation sounds like a De Beers ad. And that was it. As far as I remember.

Bring me to back to the days when Bond themes had a hook. Garbage knew how to do it.