What, you didn't know Catherine Zeta-Jones covered "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"?

Oscar winner Catherine Zeta-Jones turns 46 today, but we should really be celebrating her for another reason: that time she did her damn best to make "Rock of Ages" fun with a cover of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot."

The year was 2012. We thought we were getting the CZJ comeback we desperately deserved. But no. "Rock of Ages" was lame, and no one appreciated the "Chicago" actress' performance as an '80s-era, Tipper Gore-type objector to popular music. Below, you see why that is a crime.

Happy birthday, CZJ. "Fire and Ice" next, please.