"True Survivor" is not an ordinary music video. In fact, it is not an ordinary anything. It is a David Hasselhoff musical production featuring kung fu, laser-eyed wolves, and carnage. It is the "Key & Peele" sketch of your dreams, except real. And without Key and Peele. But it's like they're there, you know?

See, it was worth it. Hasselhoff's kung fu agility is admirable AND adorable. Germany, can I hear you screeeeeam?