Bald is beautiful, unless you’re starring in a movie. Then bald is most certainly bad. This is the assertion in a YouTube video from a follically-challenged person who goes by the handle DarkAntics.

“I’m bald, therefore I'm evil or somehow damaged," the chrome-domer ponders. "This notion has seeped into every pour of our media, and believe me I fully expect you to sit there blind to your hair privilege and not have any understanding of how this pervasive negative portrayal of bald people has affected your bias."

From Lex Luthor to Voldemort to Dr. Evil (and his bald cat), our billiard-headed host notes there is so much badness from people with so little hair.

But, during the 17-minute video, he explains that his distaste toward those with long, luxurious locks does not come from a place of jealousy or anger.

“I do not hate people with hair…My best friend has hair,” Mr. Shiny Head says. With sinister music playing in the background, his wicked laughter seemingly proves otherwise.

David Eckstein is a writer living in Los Angeles.