Face it, Adele is the most hilarious superstar alive
We associate Adele's music with such heavy sincerity that it's easy to forget she's the most self-effacing interviewee on the planet. She's dead serious about making great music and endlessly funny at all other times. Here are her best anecdotes.
1. Her run-in with terrified Jamba Juice employees.
With a little help from Ellen DeGeneres, Adele scared the hell out of some Jamba Juice cashiers. Brace yourself for the scissors.
2. That time she called Jennifer Aniston "Rachel."
I tend not to believe it when superstars say they're awed by other celebrities, but I buy that Adele considers it a hilarious fluke when she meets another star. This anecdote about Jennifer Aniston and a conversation in the bathroom is weird and awesome.
3. On her first Grammy performance: "It made me sh*t myself."
I like how she noted that the Grammys are kind of a clubhouse. Slight shade.
4. On her one true love: smoking
Adele has never talked about a beloved ex the way she talks about smoking. And she makes no bones about how much it sucks to quit: "I really want to smoke. I loved it. It's my thing. Loved it. Miss it. With all my heart. I'm very bitter about it, but [in serious voice] I know it's for a good cause."
5. On watching the Golden Globes: "We've been pissing ourselves laughing over here."
I'd forgotten she beat out Taylor Swift for this reward. Makes her unbridled joy that much more electric.
6. On her plan for an EGOT: "An HBO special like Beyonce."
It would not be hard to stage an Adele jukebox musical. Every one of her songs is fit for a Broadway voice. I think we're really likely to see her in the EGOT stratosphere alongside Rita Moreno and Whoopi Goldberg.
7. On writing records: "I used to have to get pretty drunk."
Adele songs sound like operas of drunk texts, and she tells us there's a reason for that: "I used to have to lock myself in my house, get pretty drunk, write a drunk diary because that's the only way I could admit anything to myself. A drunk tongue is an honest one, in my opinion. Then the next morning I'd read it through with an awful hangover in the cold light of day and sort of have to absorb my own feelings about myself."
8. On requests from non-fans: "I asked the lady at Tesco checkout what song she'd like to hear me cover. Her response was, 'Who are you?'"
Even Adele can be owned by a random cashier. Curb your dreams, everyone.