Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...
 
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 
 
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS 
 
DEADLIEST CATCH
I talk to Captain Johnathan and Captain Scott "Junior" Campbell about the new season, just how deadly their jobs really are, and crabs. 

DANCING WITH THE STARS
The show tries yet another gimmick, and it just shows how crappy celebrity dancers really are. 
 
AMERICAN IDOL
The top five sing songs from the year they were born, so don't watch this and feel old, yo. Just read about it. Isn't that better? 
 
SURVIVOR: CARAMOAN
The show seems to have moved away from all the Big Crazy Distractions. Read a recap here
 
THE AMAZING RACE
Cheese is out of control in this recap. News at 11. 
 
Chuck and Wynona talk to HitFix about the fine art of bickering
 
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
The new housewife is revealed. But do we like Lydia? Not really. 
 
Gretchen and Slade are engaged. So sad, really. 
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
These reunion shows are always so dramatic, aren't they? Except when there's hugging. That's just weird. 
 
NeNe gets her own spinoff, "I Dream of NeNe." Cute title, but can these housewives just stop spinning off already? 
 
DON'T BE TARDY...
Kim Zolciak gets her own show, and proves to us that it's hell on earth to be wealthy and have many wigs. 
 
 
MISC.
 
My colleague Melinda Newman and I discuss "Deadliest Catch," "LA Shrinks" and lots of other stuff. 
 
Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy doesn't feel like getting married right now. Because kids are less of a commitment than a ring. 
 
"Ready for Love" bachelors narrow the field, and we all stand back in wonder, amazed that this crappy show is still on the air. 
 
"Splash" loses two competitors, and, again, we stand back in wonder, amazed that this crappy show is still on the air. 
 
"The Real World" may some day go away, due to lousy ratings.