Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 
 
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS 
 
AMERICAN IDOL
 
DANCING WITH THE STARS
Len and Carrie Ann may be leaving the judges' table? Three pros might get the boot? Stop all the changing stuff, "DWTS"! 
 
Here's why I thought, in a fair world, Kellie Pickler had to win the mirror ball trophy

THE X FACTOR
Kelly Rowland and Paulina Rubio are the two new judges. Simon is so outnumbered by chicks, whoot!
 
Here's why I thought they were good choices before it was even official. 
 
THE BACHELORETTE
 
 
MISC.
 
Oh, GOD, let "Does Someone Have to Go?" be a cruel joke. Or an SNL skit. Read about the carnage if you dare. 
 
Melinda Newman and I talked to web series director Steve Silverman for our podcast this week. So, that's... reality, right? Maybe? Oh, we mentioned "Toddlers & Tiaras," though, so it counts. 
 
Mike Darnell, the reality TV guru, is leaving Fox to "try something new." Like water skiing or maybe world domination. 

Blake Shelton's tornado relief special will air on Wednesday. 
 
"Showville" is a swing and a miss. Read the review here
 
The new season of "Breaking Pointe" is coming faster than you think. It's coming faster than The CW thought, too. 
 
Goodbye, "Intervention." Everything we knew about shooting heroin between our toes, we learned from you. 
 
In the never-ending quest to come up with the worst TV show title ever, ABC Family takes a round with the announcement of "Spell-Mageddon." Because that definitely makes spelling bees sexier. 
 
 
Ever have a fat day? Well, feel better by watching this clip from "900 Pound Man: The Race Against Time." This guy doesn't even have fat pants. Maybe fat tents. 
 
You know what's fun? Ghost stories. You know what's better? Celebrities telling them. So rejoice, "Celebrity Ghost Stories" is coming back for another season. Oh, and best of all? Wayne Newton has a ghost story!
 
NBC dumps "Who Do You Think You Are?" and TLC picks up the chewed-up bits. Yay, basic cable recycling. Good for the environment, maybe good for you. If you actually liked this show, of course. 
 
Watch this clip from "The Big Brain Theory: Pure Genius." The contestants have to make triathlon-running robots. Not kidding. CGI is considered cheating, kids!
 
 
 
Khloe Kardashian says she'd like to have a little boy. Not that she isn't hugely jealous of her sisters or anything. 
 
 
Jesse James loses a bit of his finger and posts a photo on Instagram. And we thought him bitching about Sandra Bullock was TMI.