Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 

COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS 

BIG BROTHER

You know how some of the hamsters have been racist and homophobic in the house? When they leave, they'll also be unemployed.  

CBS finally had something to say about the homophobic and racist hamsters, too

It's all about the veto competition, which gives McCrae an opportunity to be a massive, backstabbing weenie. 

The first hamster scurries home. For some reason, it isn't who we were expecting it to be. 

CBS is moving the results show back to Thursdays. And for those of you who watch on DVR, this means absolutely nothing.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

Two dancers get sent home -- then have to dance for the rest of the hour. Yeah, that was messed up. 

Hate the new format for eliminations? Join the club. Nigel Lythgoe listened and reacted accordingly. Huzzah!

THE BACHELORETTE

Des learns some things in Barcelona, and kicks a scummy bachelor to the curb. Yay! 

Mikey says James never said that stuff about being the next "Bachelor." Huh. 

THE AMAZING RACE

Two life partners and goat farmers (who also won) get married. Where do goat farmers register, you think?

 

NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY

Vicki finds out Brooks is a pig. Which means she now knows what everyone else knows.  

Gretchen reveals how she keeps her body bikini-ready. She doesn't eat. Oh, wait, she's "healthy."  

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY

Rosie is the latest person to try to make things better between Teresa and Melissa. Amazingly, she makes more progress than anyone else. Shocker! 

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK

See pictures of the ladies all dressed up for the Mermaid Parade. And oddly, no one in this photo is a drag queen.

MISC.

Jenni from "Flipping Out" had a baby. Which makes two for her, if you count Jeff. 

Now THIS is crazy. Remember how Eva Longoria produced that awful dating show, "Ready for Love"? Well, she's dating one of the bachelors. I guess it wasn't a total wash for her. 

Melinda, Steve Silverman and I discuss all sorts of stuff -- including "Chopped" and "Big Brother" -- in this week's CulturePop podast. 

Watch: Here's a clip from "Bizarre ER." Three severed limbs get reattached after a horrific basketball accident. Bet you didn't think that was a dangerous sport. It isn't, but, well, long story. 

"The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team" will be back for another season. Get out your pom poms!

Real mobsters rat out the mob. On TV. It's okay, though. I guess none of them are in witness protection or anything. 

Love "Dance Moms" but hate Abby Miller? Then maybe "Dance Kids ATL" is for you. Or not.