Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 

COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS 
 
BIG BROTHER
The hamsters are back! They move into the house, squeal, and stab one another in their backs. 
 
THE BACHELORETTE
 
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
The top twenty dances! And some of them are amazing! And four aren't. Waah-waah. 
 
 
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY
Let's face it: Teresa and Melissa are never going to get along. Can we move on now? Please? 
 
 
MISC.
 

Here's a clip from "Psychic Tia," which is about a former detective AND a psychic. I call sitcom!
 
"Hillbillies for Hire" heads to CMT and will feature redneck revenge. Which is pranking. 
 
 
Do you like dreamy nuptials? "Wedding Island" might be for you!
 
A middle-aged pageant queen cries and freaks out looking at the mirror on "Crown Chasers." 
 
 
Zooey Deschanel and Chelsea Handler will find out about their ancestry on "Who Do You Think You Are?"
 
 
Kris Jenner is inviting you to be a Kardashian for a day, which does not require a sex tape. Yay!
 
"Brain Games"' Jason Silva talks about pot, porn and white lies. 
 
"Four Houses" is kind of about four houses, but it's better than that. Watch a clip. Don't make me explain it to you.