Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 
 
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS  
 
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
 
New judges Heidi Klum and Mel B take to the judges' table, but how did they do? 
 
THE BACHELORETTE
The men are forced to stumble through a rap video, and Des sends home some more knuckleheads. 
 
 
 
Oh, and remember Sean and Catherine of "The Bachelor"? Living together, but in separate beds. We're just amazed they're still together, period. 
 
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
It was off to Memphis for a few great dancers and more than a few nutballs. 
 
 
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
The ladies join the growing ranks of reality TV stars seemingly horrified by nudity. Whatever. 
 
Vicki is totally being sued for her vodka, yo, and she's deleted her Twitter! This is serious! Or something!
 
PRINCESSES: LONG ISLAND
Watch some women live at home and mooch off their wealthy parents. Don't throw anything at your TV, as Bravo won't replace it for you. 
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY
Melissa and Teresa must arrange a playdate, which is apparently tantamount to an international incident. 
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
 
 
MISC.
 
Returning "Ice Road Truckers" star Lisa Kelly talks about how much it sucks to be good at what you do and yet still entirely disrespected by some asshats. 
 

Watch these clips from "Property Wars" and just be glad you aren't buying foreclosed houses sight unseen. 
 
 
"Brand X with Russell Brand" gets canceled. This probably isn't a big deal to most people, as no one seemed to be watching it. 
 
 
"Pretty Wicked Moms" was just as awful as you might expect it to be. 
 
Discovery devotes a special to dead storm chasers, whose family members will never again be able to say "I told you that was dangerous." 
 
Babies cry on "Cake Boss," and that's even after they're invited to smash up some pretty cakes. We'd call them babies, but, you know. 
 
The only member of the Kardashian clan who seems to have a functioning personality, Kris Jenner, will host a talk show. Yay
 
Speaking of Kardashians, Kanye West will not be in the delivery room with Kim. Blood makes him squeamish. Yeah, tough guy rapper can't handle the baby thing. Weenie. 
 
 
 
Jennifer Lopez might come back to "American Idol." Or not. I hear they're understaffed there.