Reality TV Roundup: A 'Survivor' talks ball and 'Housewives' gets fresh nuts

It's been a busy week, so get all your reality news here, now

"The X Factor"

 "The X Factor"

Credit: Fox
Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...
 
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 
 
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS 

DANCING WITH THE STARS
Because of the presidential election, there was no elimination this week. But there was mutant hybrid dancing, people! 
 
Brooke Burke has thyroid cancer. But she feels fine. And don't make fun of her scar, people. 
 
PROJECT RUNWAY 
Oh my Lord & Taylor, it's a damn spray paint challenge, and Ivy and Laura Kathleen battle for the title of bitchiest mean girl. We call a tie. 
 
SURVIVOR
Jeff Kent talks about baseball and steroid use and, oh yeah, he was on this little TV show, not eating. 
 
Penner wants to eat Nemo and other interesting factoids from this week's episode. 
 
THE AMAZING RACE
You know who Rob and Kelley don't like? People who steal money, that's who. 
 
The teams kind of get pampered in Istanbul. There's something wrong here, isn't there?
 
THE VOICE
It's a results show. Lots of padding. So read this recap instead. Then you can free up space on your DVR. 
 
Live playoffs! It sounds like sports, but it isn't!
 
Part one of the playoffs! So... there's another part to this! 
 
THE X FACTOR
Another results show. How does anyone keep all these singing shows straight anymore? 
 
It's the top 12! Or more! Who knows?
 
Jason Brock says being gay cost him votes. Funny, we thought it was the hair. 
 
TOP CHEF: SEATTLE
So, the celebrity chefs invite the contestants to their personal restaurants to provide slave labor. I mean compete. It's a little confusing, really. 
 
 
 
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
We have a new housewife! And guess what? She's a total bitch! Welcome, Yolanda! You fit right it!
 
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
We have a new housewife! And guess what? She's a total bitch! Welcome, Kenya! You fit right in! (Seriously, no reason to write a whole new line, you know? 
 
JERSEY SHORE
Since Superstorm Sandy sucked up the shore, the TV show is hosting a fundraiser. And they promise not to put all the money toward beer. Maybe.
 
 
MISC.
 
Remember Emily of "The Bachelorette"? How she found true love with Jef? Yeah, that's over. She's dating a NASCAR driver now. 
 
Speaking of "The Bachelorette," "Dancing with the Stars" pro Cheryl Burke might be the next one. Run, Cheryl, Run!
 
 
Liane-bonin-starr-sm
Liane Bonin Starr is an author, screenwriter and former writer for EW.com. Her byline has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Variety and a lot of other places. Her last book was called "a scandalously catty, guilty pleasure" by Jane magazine. Expect the same from Starr Raving.
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