"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"

Credit: Bravo

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After last week's blow-out on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," this week's episode was positively cuddly by comparison. Kyle has a dinner party, Faye Resnick (whom I don't know beyond her involvement in the O.J. Simpson murder trial and decorating Kyle's dining room, and I'm really not sure which gig most offends my sensibilities) tells Brandi she was cruel to Adrienne, and Brandi leaves. The end. Adrienne never even shows up to said party, not wanting to be face-to-face with Brandi. I guess there's only so many screaming arguments a housewife is contractually required to dive into per season, and Brandi has probably already over delivered. 

A few other things happen; Kim works out, Yolanda works out, Ken begs Lisa to get him tea. Yawn. What's interesting in this episode is that, immediately following the screaming match (Paul and Adrienne v. Brandi), we learn that there is honor among, if not thieves, the veddy rich of reality TV. 

Taylor, who is so overwhelmed by people yelling she practically collapses at Mauricio's party (This is all about me! It isn't? Well, it feels that way!), tries to get in on the action by declaring that, even though she knows ALL sorts of horrid secrets about her fellow housewives, she would NEVER reveal them! That's simply gauche! And all I can think is, this is what it looks like when these crazy women show restraint? 

It's then that we get into a breakdown of what is okay to reveal on national television (almost everything) and what isn't (you know, the juicy stuff that can be sold to the tabloids). Camille, whom we all remember outing Taylor as a victim of domestic abuse, feels that Brandi was in the wrong for blurting out Adrienne's alleged secret (or, if you're buying Adrienne and Paul's take on things, Brandi's malicious lie about their family). It would be possible to compare and contrast if we only knew what this mysterious revelation was, but no dice. 

In any case, the actual content of the skeleton being rattled (or alleged skeleton, or fake skeleton, or whatever) isn't really salient to Camille's argument. She feels that Adrienne hadn't blabbed about whatever this is to all of the other girls in the Housewives group, and thus her privacy should be respected. Taylor, on the other hand, couldn't shut up about how her late husband was beating the crap out of her -- unless the cameras were rolling. "There's a big difference, big time," Camille says. It is? 

I have to wonder if these very fine lines drawn in the sand aren't a little difficult to keep track of. Does the revelation have to take place in front of multiple housewives to make it TV-worthy, or does one have to check in with each housewife to make sure they've also been informed that, say, Adrienne fatally stabs wait staff with her enormous high heels before you can blab it to the cameras? It all seems a little sketchy, and I have to wonder what could possibly be so  scandalous that these narcissistic nutjobs would hesitate before talking about it to the universe. Porn careers? Child beating? Compulsive nose picking? Seriously, what? 

In the interview room, Adrienne kept talking about Brandi's "disrespect" and how her words have harmed her "reputation," and I have to say, it's not like Adrienne is a surgeon snorting coke between patients. I can't even imagine what Adrienne would have to do to sully her reputation enough to hurt her rich-girl dabbling in fashion, film and marketing. I mean, knowing that she washes chicken with antibacterial soap, I probably wouldn't buy a cookbook she'd written, but that's about it. 

So, the elephant in the room -- Adrienne's dark secret (or, depending on what you believe, the horrible lie Brandi told about Adrienne) is sitting down and getting comfortable, maybe eating some peanuts for a snack. But now we have an understanding that, amongst these women, there is some poorly-formed idea of what's okay to say in front of the cameras and what's not -- although clearly, no one gave that memo to Brandi. 

Only one woman would stand up for Brandi at the dinner party -- Marisa Zanuck, who had only just met the ex-Mrs. Cibrian -- as Faye (who also doesn't know Brandi beyond what the other housewives have told her) pecked and admonished and railed against the woman until she left the party. I may be on the fence about Brandi, but I'm pretty sure Faye (who seems to be Kyle's mean girl puppet, pulled out of the toy box for special occasions) relishes being the center of attention just as much as she accuses Brandi of wanting to be.

How the battle between Brandi and Adrienne is resolved is anyone's guess, but I'm predicting that Brandi, with her coarse language and tenuous connection to the other wives, won't come out on top.

Do you think the women have a code of propriety? Or should? And do you think Brandi is honest or, as Faye claims, cruel? 

Liane Bonin Starr
Sr. Editor

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Liane Bonin Starr is an author, screenwriter and former writer for EW.com. Her byline has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Variety and a lot of other places. Her last book was called "a scandalously catty, guilty pleasure" by Jane magazine. Expect the same from Starr Raving.