Party anthems! It's fitting, I guess, that the guest judge is Redfoo of LMFAO. Even though he won't be able to offer any useful critique of the dancing, he will be able to keep energy high at the judges' table. More importantly, he'll probably bother the hell out of Len, and that can never be a bad thing. So, what is he looking for in the performances? Something that will make him "go woo," of course. Aren't we all? 

Again, James & Peta are at the top, Drew & Cheryl are at the bottom. You know, in case you'd forgotten. 

So, before we can get to things that make us go woo, we have to deal with the dirty business of who  is in jeopardy and who isn't. NeNe & Tony are safe, and they'll be dancing first. 

NeNe & Tony
The Background: NeNe fell apart last week. She thought Tony was mad at her. No, he was proud of her! She thinks that this week they can be better partners because they've been through so much. She's made it past the halfway point, which is more of a miracle than she seems to understand. They'll be dancing salsa, and she's so happy something good came out of the drama last week. I'd tend to say she created all of the drama, but whatever.  
The Dance: Her back is so straight. She has a lot of flair and is fun to watch, but she isn't really giving it her all, I don't think. She may not have the flexibility for some of these moves, because she definitely has the musicality. 
The Judges: Len says she needs to work on technique. Bruno thought it was good, but Carrie Ann thinks it wasn't as hot as Cruella de Vil. Red wants to take off his clothes, as it was hot. 
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 8 Redfoo - 9 Len - 8 Bruno - 8

Back to sweating out the celebs. James & Peta are safe. Candace & Mark aren't. So, Candace & Mark, get to steppin'! Don't get nervous or anything, Candace! Jeez, it's a little sadistic to break the bad news before they perform, "Dancing with the Stars."

Candace & Mark
The Background: Mark wants her to bring the sexy hip movement for the cha cha. She finds it so hard to be the sexy girl! Candace, stop it! Bring the sexy! Stop thinking so much!
The Dance: This has moments that really work, then you can see her start thinking about what she's doing and she really stiffens up. It's a shame -- she can dance, if she wants to. 
The Judges: Bruno thinks she's sexy and just doesn't know it. Carrie Ann thinks she's so great when she hits it. Redfoo thinks her outfit is bling bling. But he just wanted her to get into the sexy. Len can tell she worked very hard on her leg action, but she still needs to work on upper body fluidity. 
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 8 Redfoo- 8 Len - 8 Bruno - 8

James & Peta
The Background: They're dancing to "You're the One That I Want" from Grease! And he was in his high school production! He feels so much pressure to deliver with this quickstep. And guess who else is going to overthink it this week? 
The Dance: There's a scuttling quality to his footwork, but he seems to be having a good time. Still, this is not his best dance -- not by far. 
The Judges: Carrie Ann thinks James is a leading man, but thinks he cold have been a hair sharper with his footwork. Redfoo thought it was quick and he loved it. It reminded him of two crabs in the sand. Len seems to hate Redfoo. Anyway, he thought the technique was tears on his pillow. Bruno thought it was great choreography, but he could have been lighter on his feet. 
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 9 Redfoo- 9 Len - 8 Bruno - 9 

Ooh, a clip montage of celebrities crying and freaking out. Meryl and Charlie are not crying or freaking out, it should be noted. This dancing competition stuff is so no big deal for them. 

Hey, it's a Macy's Stars of Dance routine! Which is cool and robotic and makes me a little sad to go back to amateur hour. 

More results, this time for Danica & Val and Meryl & Maks. Meryl & Maks are safe. Danica & Val are not. How can they not be safe? Oh, I know. The bottom three aren't necessarily the bottom three, as we are reminded each week before the elimination. 

Danica & Val 
The Background: They'll be doing  a cha cha. Danica can't believe she's higher than Meryl and Charlie on the leader board. She could be a contender! Val wants her to celebrate her body, mind and spirit. She needs to get her sexy on!
The Dance: She really is good, isn't she? I think Danica's right -- she might be a contender after all. She's cute as a button, and she's really selling this. 
The Judges: Redfoo thinks she put love in the club. Len thought it was the best dance of the night thus far. Bruno thinks she has the vivacity of a purring little kitten, and she nailed a difficult dance. Carrie Ann thinks she's growing every week, and she's become the full blossom. 
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 9 Redfoo - 9 Len - 9 Bruno - 9

Meryl & Maks
The Background: Maks is starting to get grumpy. He has to fix this! The scores last week were abysmal (because nines are... bad?), so he tries to take out his frustration on Meryl. Why are you so timid, Meryl? She realizes he's questioning himself, and he's scared. He doesn't know what else to do! He's supposed to pep talk her, not the other way around. She takes his hand and tells them they can pep talk each other. Is this not a scene ripped from "Beauty and the Beast" or what? I'm stunned. He has a tantrum (granted, a little one), and she gets him to settle down and purr. Never leave, Meryl! 
The Dance: This is just spectacular. She's going to win this. She's passionate and precise and just so good. She looks like a professional. I think Maks is in love with her. If he's not, he should be. No one will ever understand him the way this woman does, I think. 
The Judges: Len thinks Meryl is the first celebrity has been able to keep up with Maks. Bruno thought it was incredible. Carrie Ann is speechless. She thinks they have reached artistic excellence -- she looks like one of the pros. Redfoo says ET phone home, because it was out of this world. Oh, you Redfoo. 
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 10 Redfoo - 10 Len - 10 Bruno - 10

Drew & Cheryl
The Background: Drew thinks this is his last week, but he's going to be a pimp this week for his dance to "SuperFreak." Poor Drew. His attitude seems to be, hey, let's have fun before we're taken out at dawn and shot. 
The Dance: He's fierce, but it's not great. At least he's working it, though. He's doing his best, but there's a grim quality to this. 
The Judges: Bruno thinks he pimped it to maximum effect, even if the technique sucked. Carrie Ann thinks he was the life of the party. Bruno thought he was all swagged out and had a stinky pimp face. Len loves Drew's commitment. The judges are being so nice I have to think Drew is going home.
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 8 Redfoo - 9 Len - 7 Bruno - 8

Charlie & Sharna
The Background: He's doing a cha cha, and Sharna is worried he'll blow another Latin dance given how little time he's had to practice. Eh, I suspect he'll be more than fine, Sharna. 
The Dance: Oh, this is fun. What's wrong with his hips? Look good to me. Really, this is such a fun dance (love the blacklight) and so energetic and on point. Because, well, he's a professional, duh. 
The Judges: Carrie Ann thinks Charlie improved on his hip work tremendously. It was hot, sexy and funky. Redfoo liked it. It made him want to dance. Len thinks he has a brilliant musicality. Bruno thinks he never lost the cha cha cha despite so many changes of tempo. He made it look flawless. 
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 9 Redfoo - 9 Len - 9 Bruno - 9

Amy & Derek
The Background: Derek warns Amy that the claws are about to come out. Really? He thinks he's only seen the nerdy Purdy. What? Amy wants share incredible once-in-a-lifetime moments with Derek. I cannot believe they're making her do a jive. I'm sure it will be great, but jeez. 
The Dance: Did she just do a cartwheel? This is amazing. She really is doing the jive and doing it well. This woman is doing more to enlighten people about prosthetic limbs than anyone else out there, I think. 
The Judges: Redfoo's mind is blown. Len thought it was fantastic. Bruno thinks she's a real-life superhero. Carrie Ann thinks she has the best kicks and flicks out of anyone she's seen ever, but there was a slip up. 
The Scores: Carrie Ann - 9 Redfoo - 10 Len - 9 Bruno - 10 

No more dancing, so more results. Drew & Cheryl are in jeopardy, so Amy & Derek and Charlie & Sharna are safe.

We have out bottom three, so time to pick off someone. The next couple safe is… Danica & Val. And the couple going home is… Drew & Cheryl. So, he was right. He is going home. 

Drew thinks he went further than he thought he would, and he thanks the show for letting him fulfill a fantasy. So, all's well that ends well. I think Drew had fun, but not so much fun he really wanted to fight it out for the top. Candace wants it more, and I think she has the capacity to do a great job, so I'm glad she's sticking around. Sorry, Drew. 

To summarize, Meryl & Maks are at the top, and at the bottom are Candace & Mark. Next week's guest judge is Ricky Martin! 

Were you sad to see Drew go? Why do you think Meryl is able to get the best out of Maks? Who do you think will win? 


Liane Bonin Starr is an author, screenwriter and former writer for Her byline has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Variety and a lot of other places. Her last book was called "a scandalously catty, guilty pleasure" by Jane magazine. Expect the same from Starr Raving.