So, this is really Monday part 2 -- four couples will perform and we get the Team "Gangnam Style" dance, too. And it's only an hour! I could get used to this, couldn't you? 

For some reason, Kelly looks mad as the camera pans over the crowd. Or maybe that's not anger, but worry. She was at the bottom of the leader board this week. Or maybe Val made a crack about her age, or the love isn't there when cameras aren't rolling. 

In other news, I'm still looking forward to Team "Gangnam Style"'s performance. I know someday I will get sick of that song, but it hasn't happened yet. 


Melissa & Tony

The Background: Melissa wants to dance to Britney Spears' "Toxic," which Tony immediately notes is a tango. Melissa promptly suggests they try a different song. She hasn't tangoed before! And it turns out the tango is not easy for Melissa, and not just because she injured her neck this week. She cries out of frustration. She's not getting this damn tango! Tony doesn't know if he's pushing her too hard. 

The Dance: I don't see a lot of tango in her footwork -- she's not flicking so much as she's placing. But I will say, wow, what amazing extension. I

The Judges: Len gives her a pat on the back. It was crisp and sharp, though he would have liked more snap. Bruno thought it was intoxicating and liked her character. Both he and Len thinks the injury limited her snap. Carrie Ann liked the grit. But her torso could be tighter. Still, I get the impression that everyone wants to give her a pass for hurting her neck. 

Did I see a different dance?

Scores: Carrie Ann - 9, Len - 9, Bruno - 9

 

Shawn & Derek

The Background: They're doing a rumba to the "Titanic" theme, "My Heart Will Go On". Shawn admits this song isn't really a reflection of her character, so she's worried. Hey, here's an idea -- pick another song, Shawn! Gymnasts don't show emotion, dammit! Shawn doesn't want to be vulnerable. You open yourself up to… well, I don't think Kirstie Alley or anyone is going to hit her with a baseball bat (or maybe they just do that in ice skating), so I think she's fine. 

The Dance: Beautiful. Is her face expressive? Not really, but the dancing itself is incredible and, I think, emotional. I'm always surprised by just how good Shawn really is.

The Judges: Bruno thought it was awesome. He felt it was touching and romantic. Carrie Ann feels like a proud mama watching Shawn. She thinks the lift was incredible, but no lifts! Bad, bad Shawn! Oh, come on! It was so good! Tom says that tonight, Carrie Ann plays the iceberg. Len had great expectations but he got bleak house. Bruno is furious. Len loved the number but to him it wasn't a rumba. Carrie Ann and Bruno yell at Len. 

 

Scores: Carrie Ann - 9, Len - 8, Bruno - 10

 

Apolo & Karina

The Background: She wants to do a samba roll section, because she wants this to be a tough routine. She seems pretty confident Apolo can do it, and I don't doubt it. They're dancing to "Give It To Me, Baby" by Rick James. 

The Dance: I love that he truly commits to a guilty pleasure routine, complete with the cheesy disco clothing. Is it great? Not as great as I hoped it would be. Good, but not great.

The Judges: Carrie Ann isn't feeling it. It was good, but not where Apolo should be. Len is bewildered, as he thought it was terrific. He thought it was clean and precise. Bruno thought he was terribly sexy, but some of his footwork wasn't perfect. But it was a hard routine! Bruno is still impressed. 

 

Scores: Carrie Ann - 8.5, Len - 9.5, Bruno - 9


Sabrina & Louis

 

The Background: "So This Is Love" is a guilty pleasure for Sabrina, because she's wanted to be a princess since she was a little girl. But she doesn't like to be vulnerable. She's fast and fierce! Except when she wants to be a Disney princess, I guess.

The Dance: It's a good thing this show's on ABC, since Disney would be screaming copyright infringement otherwise. It's very sweet, though it doesn't look like a very challenging routine. Sabrina is very princess-y, and if things get tough I bet she could get a character gig at Disneyland. 

The Judges: Len loved the flow and thought it was charming. Bruno thought it was like a magic ride into an enchanted kingdom. He thought it was cartoonish and delicious, though she needs to watch her shoulders. Carrie Ann doesn't think it was vulnerable, but it was elegant and she didn't need to be vulnerable. She gives Sabrina a wink and tells her there's room for a happy ending. Which, I guess, means a 10. Or they have a date later. 

Scores: Carrie Ann - 10, Len - 9.5, Bruno - 9.5

 

They're at the top of the leader board. Huh. Yes, it was nice, but not incredible. 

 

On to Team "Gangnam Style"!

 

In rehearsal, Maks is doing the choreography. But Gilles wants to offer his opinion, too. Maks does not like opinions. Gilles hangs his head and skulks away. He's an alpha male, but he isn't the dance expert and thus must be the beta male. Poor Giles. Kirstie thinks their dancing is going to be so wild, they're all going to end up in an institution.

 

So, they dance. Sort of. Okay, this was a huge mess, but it was really, really fun. Totally goofy, all over the place, out of synch, but everyone looks like they're having fun. It also looks like they threw this together about twenty minutes before the show, which I know isn't true, but if they had I would have been more impressed.

 

Len says it was the craziest number he'd ever seen. It was fun! Bruno is wetting himself and asks Gilles for the towel he's wearing around his waist, which he gives him. So, Gilles in underwear, not a bad thing. Carrie Ann thought they were a hot mess, and it became crazy, fun insanity.

 

Scores: Carrie Ann - 9, Len - 9, Bruno - 9

 

So, Kelly's still in the bottom -- though there's no guarantee she's going home (fortunately). as this week's scores will be combined with next week's. That gives everyone plenty of time to improve -- or, as is sometimes the case, screw up. Hey, this season needs all the excitement it can get!