"The Bachelorette"

 "The Bachelorette"

Credit: ABC

'The Bachelorette' fellas shoot a bad rap video before the claws come out

It's all about confessing heartbreak and hospital visits to woo Des

So, tonight we will be treated to the train wreck that is "The Bachelorette" rap video. Other things happen, of course, but because the chorus to the "song" performed in the video has a brainwashing effect on the guys, it sort of sets the tone. You'll see. 

Still, a few guys manage to avoid the group date and thus remain sane. First off, Des chooses to have a solo date with Brooks, who is probably going to be the one who proposes. No one else has such great hair, and that seems to be the important criteria for how anyone couples off on this show (well, some guys have been bald, but still). More than that, you can see that Des and Brooks have great chemistry. Unless he tells her he likes sleeping in warm buckets of his own pee or only eats live Labrador puppies, this is probably his to lose. 

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"Cake Boss"

 "Cake Boss"

Credit: TLC

Watch: It's a tearful baby photo shoot on 'Cake Boss'

It should be fun to smash pretty cakes, but for one kid it's not

You know what's fun? Pimping out a kid for a photo shoot, then watching the kid cry for his or her mommy when it comes time to snap pictures! Yay! Poor cake artist Buddy Valastro has to watch from the sidelines as someone else's kid sobs over the prospect of mashing up his cakes. I don't blame the kid; seems like a waste of really good eating, if you ask me.

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Kris Jenner

 Kris Jenner

Credit: AP Photo

Watch the promo for Kardashian mama Kris Jenner's talk show

The mastermind of Kim Kardashian's 15 minutes gets her own time to talk

If you want to blame anyone for the entire Kardashian clan milking way more than 15 minutes of fame out of Kim's stupid sex tape, it's this woman. And now, Kris Jenner has her own chat show on which to talk about how other housewives can turn pimp their kids! Not really. Actually, of all the Kardashians, Kris appears to be the only one with an actual personality, and as she's proven as a guest host on "The Talk" and other programs, she's smart and, yes, insightful. If you have to watch any member of the Kardashian clan, you might as well give "Kris" a chance. And as far as we know, no sex tape. 

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"Princesses: Long Island"

 "Princesses: Long Island"

Credit: Bravo

'Princesses: Long Island' gives aging, single spoiled brats a forum

If you hate 'Real Housewives,' you'll really despise these girls

I'll admit that prolonged exposure to "The Real Housewives" franchise has worn me down. I regularly get swept up in the (probably fake) battles, the screaming, the backbiting. While their lives of self-indulgence and aimless luxury are both enviable and kinda gross, put any gaggle of women together in a room, sprinkle in some envy and hormones, and the end result will be kinda watchable.

At least I thought that was true until I saw "Princesses: Long Island." 

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"The Real Housewives of New Jersey"

 "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"

Credit: Bravo

'Real Housewives of New Jersey' season premiere: 'Garden State of Emergency'

The adults act like children, fittingly enough, because of a playdate

The season premiere of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" revolves around two crisis situations: Hurricane Sandy and a kids' playdate. Of course, the latter is the bigger deal. Yeah, people lost power and their houses and even the housewives themselves had the furniture in their second homes, like, totally ruined. But the playdate involved Melissa and Teresa having to sit in the same room and pretend that they didn't hate each other for the sake of their kids and a Bravo camera crew. Needless to say, the possibility for destruction was much higher. 

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"Orphan Black"

 "Orphan Black"

Credit: BBC America

'Orphan Black' season finale recap: 'Endless Forms Most Beautiful'

Things get bloody, ugly and dark for all of the clones

Watching the season finale of "Orphan Black," I couldn't stop thinking about intellectual property law. Really. So often we hear about how the law lags behind technology, how governments and WIPO busily holds meetings and issue reports while those who wish to do so take advantage of every loophole, staying one step ahead of those who can't quite imagine what's already happening. "Orphan Black" takes the issue to one (mostly) logical conclusion, but you can bet this mess won't be resolved in any fictional courts next season.

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"Naked & Afraid"

 "Naked & Afraid"

Credit: Discovery

Reality TV Roundup: 'Sex,' 'Naked & Afraid,' 'Idol,' 'Bachelorette' and more

It's been a busy week, so get all your reality news here, now

Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...

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"Healing in the Heartland"

 "Healing in the Heartland"

Credit: NBC

Listen: CulturePop No. 15 'Now You See Me,' Rob Lowe, Miranda Lambert

We talk about "Behind the Candelabra" and more

Welcome to CulturePop! This week was full o' weird ass crap, so Melinda and I had a field day. "Behind the Candelabra," people! So much to discuss, and that's just Rob Lowe's eyes. In any case, here's the rundown. 

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"Sex: How It Works"

 "Sex: How It Works"

Credit: NatGeo

'Sex: How It Works' to explore dysfunction, arousal and more

The two-hour NatGeo special is set to air in June

National Geographic Channel leaves the snickering behind (though we probably won't) and dives into the science behind arousal, orgasms, partner preference and sexual dysfunctions with "Sex: How It Works," a two-hour special premiering Tues. June 18 at 8:00 p.m. The show weaves together real-life case studies, the latest technology and cutting-edge computer graphics to explore the topic. 

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"The American Baking Competition"

 "The American Baking Competition"

Credit: CBS

'The American Baking Competition' is doughy but sweet

The reality competition is low energy but the food looks delicious

Every season, there are a few reality TV show ideas that make me wonder if we are, in fact, done. After all, what's next? "Waiting in Line for Movie Tickets: The Fight to the Finish" or maybe "Stuck in Traffic without Music: The Will to Survive"? There are only so many jobs, so many situations and so many contests that have inherent dramatic value. By the way, don't be stealin' that movie tickets idea. I may pitch it to basic cable yet. 

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