Yes, we've all had good reason to make fun of "America's Next Top Model." Tyra Banks, wiggling her neck in spastic delirium, often seemed one diva snap away from complete insanity. I have rolled my eyes at her bizarre behavior almost as often as I smirked at Andre Leon Talley's man muumuus. But now, having seen the newest player in the reality TV modelympics, I take it all back. Sorry, Tyra. You still crazy, girl, but damn if you're not so bad after all.
The new series may have a bigger diva, but is it better than 'ANTM'?
Lisa hosts a proper tea party and the women still can't behave themselves
This week, Lisa puts on her happy neon pink bra (and under a sheer white shirt, natch), wiggles her nose, and convinces herself that if she thinks happy thoughts and pushes the booze with a side order of man meat, the very civilizing influence of Pimms and a proper British tea party will inspire the hate-spewing harpies on this show to lift their pinkies together over tea sandwiches and make nice. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah… no.
Yes, it's another Extravaganza O' Crazy, and Lisa is unlucky enough to have it all play out at her house. She should be glad that Beverly Hills housewives just bark squeakily at one another like Chihuahuas who've gotten into the Ritalin instead of tossing around tables. That's just a Jersey thing, I guess.
Will Tierra lose her cool with the girls for the last time?
Wow, in the first minute of montage setting up the show, there's A LOT of crying. A lot. And then there's Tierra, who just pretends to cry. Is it too much to ask that Sean send this lunatic packing this week? Given that Ben not only kept Courtney around until the end, he actually chose her, I no longer trust that any given Bachelor will wise up before he gives a crazy girl jewelry.
Dating isn't easy when you insist on blindfolding your dates
Trying to get into the mood for Valentine's Day? Well, look no further than the latest episode of "Doomsday Preppers" (Tues. Feb. 12, 9:00 p.m. ET). It turns out preppers need love, too, in addition to stockpiles of canned beans and toilet paper.
In this clip, watch lonely, lovelorn Jeff try to find a woman with whom to share his decommissioned missile silo following the inevitable, world-ruining economic collapse destined to send all of America into chaos. Jeff heads to the Interwebs to find his perfect prepper match, finally choosing a special someone to accompany him to his silo. Of course, he has to scare the crap out of her by asking her to wear a blindfold, but hey, who said love was easy in the 21st century? While they say there's a pot for every lid, I'm not sure if that saying applies when the pot is severely cracked.
Watch this exclusive clip from the Valentine's Day themed episode of "Doomsday Preppers."
Porsha plans a birthday party for Kordell, sort of
Watching "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" is starting to feel like someone you don't particularly like forcing you to look at photos from their latest family vacation to someplace very expensive you'd never want to visit yourself. With Kenya too busy with her breast biopsies to stir up drama this week, the job was somehow left to Porsha, which is sort of like leaving the keys to a Porsche to an eight-year-old. As Kenya said, the girl is as dumb as rocks, and for once, Kenya wasn't wrong.
Thomas Barrow makes a mistake that he soon regrets
We're closing in on the end of "Downton Abbey" (the Christmas episode airs next week!), so it's no surprise that many story lines are getting wrapped up in tonight's two-hour episode before the show leaps forward in time by a full year. The result? Some are grand, some are jarring, and some really don't make a lot of sense. More than any other episode, I think this one is a mixed bag and sometimes seems slapdash (and soapy) in its execution. But for the lows (and there are quite a few), some of the big moments give our stars moments to truly shine. It's always great when someone other than Maggie Smith (not that we don't love her, by the way) gets a pithy line or an unexpected character flaw, and that's definitely in evidence this week. I can't overlook the stinkers, but there's enough good stuff here that I might soon forget them.
Find out if anyone dared to flaunt 'puffy bare skin'
After the Grammys laid down the law about what could and could not be worn to the show ("no thong type costumes" or "bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack" and the mysterious edict, "be sure that the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible 'puffy' bare skin exposure"), it was anyone's guess how the red carpet would look this year. The good news? There was still plenty of skin to be seen, and none of it should upset the Grammys at all. Whether or not the clothing provided more than coverage is up to debate. Here's a look at what Jennifer Lopez, Adele, Faith Hill, Rihanna, Beyonce, and more wore to music's big event.
It's been a busy week, so get all your reality news here, now
Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too.
Alana learns to ice skate, sort of
It's time for yet another holiday-themed special from Mama and the family, and in this preview from "A Very Boo Christmas" (airing Sun. Feb. 10 at 8:00 p.m.) it's time for ice-skating. Of course, a wholesome outing such as this can't set the tone for the whole show, which includes farting, jokes about the extra-thumbed baby, and Alana asking to get her ears pierced. For better or for worse, it seems the family hasn't let fame change them (much).
Watch a clip from "A Very Boo Christmas."
Designers must dress Heidi Klum for a fragrance launch - and some stink
Hey, guess what! Each season of "Project Runway" has a certain number of challenges in which our poor, hardworking designers must be slave labor for the judges, and that's begun in earnest tonight. I kind of hate these challenges, mostly because they reek of labor law violations, but also because they usually suck. Remember the mommy and me challenge? The ugly workout clothing challenge? The dressing Nina challenge? Let's hope this one, which is Heidi-centric, at least doesn't force the designers to create plus-size T-shirts for a Walmart line or overalls for NASCAR. You think I'm joking. All I think is that someone in marketing for the show just hasn't made the deal yet.