"Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

Although part of me expects the results of tonight's show will be pretty predictable, I am wondering if Nancy Grace will survive into the semifinals simply because of the rumor that people were going to vote for her simply because Len was so harsh in his comments. I'm not sure that's a great reason to keep someone on the show, but really, this season the results have been so haphazard, I'm not sure it's not just as acceptable as any other reason. 

 "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"

Credit: Bravo

What I love most about the housewives of Beverly Hills is that they're not shy about pumping their faces full of plastic and Botox and possibly drain cleaner in their quest to remain young and (sometimes) creepy looking. Take, for example, tonight's big event: Paul's Night of Beauty. Paul, as we know, is Adrienne's plastic surgeon husband, and he's inviting all of the housewives over for snacks and free treatments. It's like a spa day, except with numbing cream and pain! While most of the girls are lining up for Botox and fillers, Kyle is bravely taking on having her "love handles" (she thinks calling them that is cute, but I can't get the image of a fat, middle-aged man out of my head) warmed off. Or I think it's warming it off. It looks like she's being slowly roasted under a fast food heat lamp, but I'm sure it's much, much fancier than that. 

 "Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

We're down to the final five couples, and, with the exception of Ricki and J.R., this was not the line-up I expected to see. Nancy Grace? Rob Kardashian? I'm hoping that Hope Solo manages to reach her potential this week, because otherwise the final three is going to be a case of "which one of these things is not like the others?" 

 "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"

Credit: Bravo

If you take the time to watch the season premiere of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," you may initially be lured into believing that wealth and fame has finally (and I mean finally) refined our fair ladies. Life seems to be a series of breezy, pleasant tasks, like moving into a fabulous new house or paying cash for a brand-new car. But rest assured -- these women are still crazier than bloodthirsty bedbugs and have lost none of their appetite for fighting and shrieking in public places, purses swinging back and forth as they hysterically flap their arms in indignation. Ah, some things never change!

Justin Bieber and Boyz II Men perform on "Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch "The X Factor," "Survivor," "Dancing with the Stars," "Top Chef," "Project Accessory" or "America's Next Top Model," the latest elimination for each show is revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 

 "Mad Fashion"

Credit: Bravo

A few seasons back, Chris March was one of my favorite designers on "Project Runway." Make that favorite personalities -- I'm still a bit grossed out by his human hair gown. Anyway, on "Runway" March was affable under pressure; a cheerful, funny presence on a season otherwise dominated by Christian Siriano. Beyond reality TV, he's also built an intriguing resume as a designer, having created costumes for everyone from Prince to Lady Gaga and countless drag queens and theater geeks. Thus, it seemed like a natural fit for Bravo to build a show around March, and it seemed like a natural fit for me to love it. How could I not?

 "The Vampire Diaries"

Credit: CW

This week we'll be treated to Klaus and Rebekah's origin story, and as you might expect, there are flashbacks, not-always-successful hair extensions, plot twists and plenty of helpful hints as to how our intrepid Salvatore brothers and Elena might ultimately bring down these fearsome originals. This has the air of inevitability, though I will hate to see Rebekah and Klaus leave the show, if only for a little while (I'm guessing there has to be some loophole a hybrid like Klaus can slip through, and these two are immortal, after all). They're compelling villains and we've only just scraped the surface of who they were before they became selfish, ruthless baddies. But maybe what we learn tonight and in next week's midseason "finale" will provide all the Rebekah and Klaus we'd ever want. 

 "Top Chef"

Credit: Bravo

As you probably already know, this edition of "Top Chef" is going to be supersized -- and not just because the chefs will be galavanting around the great state of Texas. Twenty-nine chefs will compete for the 16 "real" slots on the show -- in the first challenge. In other words, don't get attached to anyone. In a recent interview, judge Tom Colicchio said he felt this mega-challenge actually improved the show, and I'm inclined to agree. A chef knowing that he or she has almost a fifty-fifty chance of being knocked out immediately clearly amps up the tension, plus this gives candidates who might look good (or not so good) on paper a chance to show what they can do under fire, so to speak. I hope this is a tweak they stick with. Now, putting Emeril "Bam" Lagasse on the judges' table, that I'm not as sure about, but I'll try to keep an open mind. 

 "Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

It's time for another elimination -- and Justin Bieber! Not being a tween, I can't say I'm overly excited about this, but I understand that many high-strung young girls are very, very excited about it, and having once been a high-strung young girl myself, I'm happy for them. Live the dream, kids. Live the dream. If you're lucky, Justin will grow up to be an admirable human being and not a creepy, self-absorbed junkie (I'd say that, judging from my teen idols, the ratio could be fifty-fifty, so root for admirable). And yes, maybe one of you will marry him. It happens.