"The Vampire Diaries"

Credit: The CW

“The Vampire Diaries” is a show largely fueled by secrets. Vampires passing as mortals, Originals with long and detailed secret histories, stolen kisses and bloodlettings. Sometimes secrets can be compelled out of mind or, after a minor squabble, be forgiven. But tonight, they kind of mess up everything in such nightmarish terms that the truth, complicated and ugly though it might be, is looking pretty darn appealing to almost everyone for a variety of reasons. Well, not everyone. But we'll get to that in a moment.

 "Top Chef"

Credit: Bravo

It's season 10 of "Top Chef," and we're off to Seattle! Wait, we're not off to Seattle yet. This season we have a twist. Instead of the epic Alamo cook-off of last season, this time the chefs are broken up into groups and sent to work as slave labor at one of the restaurants owned by either Emeril LaGasse, Hugh Acheson, Tom Colicchio or our new judge, Wolfgang Puck. The celebrity chefs will then decide who goes through to compete on the show, and who doesn't. I like this change, as it gives each judge a chance to put at least some of the potential competitors to a test they deem most important, even if that means some people get to just skate by making a damn salad.

 "American Horror Story"

Credit: FX

Well, the fun keeps on rolling at the non-stop carnival that is Briarcliff Asylum, and I'm thinking everyone on this particular ride desperately wants to get off of it. As we all know, bad things are about to happen. The only question, really, is who will be the unlucky one on this episode. Or, I should say, unlucky ones. 

The first potential victim is a new character -- Anne friggin' Frank. Seriously. The show takes a turn into "Once Upon A Time" territory by (possibly) tossing in an iconic literary character; given that we already have Dr. Frankenstein in the form of Dr. Arden, I'm expecting cameos from Snow White and Captain Hook any minute. As much as I enjoy the tossing-spaghetti-at-the-wall madness of this campfest, at times it can feel random, less like homage than writers opening up Wikipedia, closing their eyes, and typing wildly into the search box. This would be one of those times.

 Chloe Sevigny in "American Horror Story"

Credit: FX

After last week's episode of "American Horror Story," Chloe Sevigny left an indelible mark for viewers as Shelley, the latest unlucky victim of Dr. Arden (James Cromwell). The actress spoke to journalists in a conference call about what's next for her persecuted character (think "transformation" in the worst possible sense), another character who may be meeting a dark end, and why she doesn't think "American Horror Story" is a guilty pleasure.

 "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"

Credit: Bravo

The ladies who lunch in L.A. are back, and the good news is that I see no sign of the pricetag-dropping Dana. Instead, we get a new housewife, Yolanda, who is married to songwriter David Foster, is also the ex-wife of Lisa's pal Mohammed, and (if you go by the promos) can throw down with the best of them. Not that we see any sign of that in this episode. No, we have to wait a bit for the women of Beverly Hills to sharpen their claws. Their manicurists are, like, totally booked in advance, people. Where did you think we were, Atlanta? Pfft!

 "Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

So, because there will be no results show tomorrow night (there's this thing called an election you may have heard about -- and if you were going to vote for anything, it probably shouldn't be "Dancing with the Stars"), Tom Bergeron has to inform us that this will be a VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE nevertheless. "Once dance's DNA will get torn apart and fused with that of another!" he says in an ominous tone, which makes me feel as if there's actually going to be some screaming and surgical procedures and it's going to feel more like "American Horror Story" than "Dancing with the Stars." But the good news is that this Frankendance thing looks a lot better than Tom leads us to expect, at least when it's done by the show dance troupe. Maybe it will be more terrifying when celebrities attempt it. 

 "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"

Credit: Bravo

So, as we all know, Sheree is off "The Real Housewives of Altanta," and with one battle-tastic housewife out of the mix you might expect a more peaceful, Zen-like season this year. But wait! When old crazy walks out the door, new crazy opens a window, and to that end we have Kenya. Kenya Moore is a new housewife (Porsha Stewart, who isn't in this episode, will also be joining the cast), a former Miss USA, a movie producer and a card carrying lunatic, if the season premiere is anything to go by. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Our previous cast of crazies and put-upon eye-rollers is still in play, so let's review what's happened since last season's catfighting hijinks.

 Jorge Garcia

Credit: ABC

Though most people know Jorge Garcia from his role as the mostly lovable lottery winner Hurley on "Lost" (and others might recall him from "Becker" or "Alcatraz,"), the actor is taking a turn for the  mean on "Once Upon A Time" (Sun. 8:00 p.m. on ABC). As the giant who lives at the top of the beanstalk, he'll be facing off against Emma and Captain Hook, who hope to steal a magical compass from him that will transport them to Storybrooke. I talked to Garcia about the role, why he was glad to see Dr. Frankenstein and what he likes about having a full-time job.