Susan and Brigette have big dreams for their poor kids on 'Dance Moms: Miami'

Credit: Scott Gries/Lifetime

Last night's premiere of "Dance Moms: Miami" was good news for "Dance Moms" fans broken up about the flagship show airing its season finale. Now there's a whole new set of ambitious kids, crazy moms and flamboyant instructors to follow.

It's less good news for anyone who doesn't enjoy seeing kids put under unreasonable amounts of pressure, grown women embarrass themselves and arguments inflated for entertainment purposes.

I'll admit I'm in the second camp, and I've never bothered to check into the "Dance Moms" phenomenon before this. I've seen clips and interviews, but it always seemed like something worth ignoring.

They love it when you watch: Bill & Giuliana Rancic

Credit: Andrew Eccles/The Style Network

Until today I had never seen an episode of Style Network's "Giuliana & Bill." And now that I have, I'm wondering why anyone would watch this show on a regular basis.

Obviously someone out there likes it. Tonight was the fifth (!) season premiere, which apparently was much more serious than usual as it tackled Giuliana's diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer.

I wouldn't say "E! News" host Giuliana Rancic and her "Apprentice"-winning husband Bill are bad, or even boring, people. I'm just curious where the appeal in an entire show chronicling their relationship lies.

This is all pure speculation, but here are five possible explanations for why people watch:

Jordis nearly hit the road on 'The Voice'

Credit: Lewis Jacobs/NBC

It's the first ever live results show on "The Voice"! A product of the show's success, NBC is giving it some extra hours on the schedule and making the eliminations more dramatic. Will it be as mind-numbingly inane and unnecessarily padded as the average "American Idol" results show?

Don't count on it, because four people will be going home. And before that happens, the bottom three from each time take the stage for a last chance performance in the hopes of winning a coach's save.

Plus, Gym Class Heroes will perform with Team Adam. That's a lot to pack into a single hour, so let's get to it.

Ashley de la Rosa is a top contender on Team Christina

Credit: NBC

Finally, the competition truly begins as Team Christina and her "singers from every genre" face off against Team Blake's "unique sounding vocalists." (We'll see Team Adam and Team Cee-Lo next week.)

It's been weeks since they filmed those battles and a few things have changed: Adam has less hair, Cee-Lo has more (thanks to a wig), Christina dropped the ridiculous hat and covered up her cleavage and Blake...looks like Blake.

Christina "could not be more thrilled about what's going to happen tonight," while Blake thinks "it's gonna be tough. America is gonna know what it was like for us going through those battle rounds, it's hard to make a decision."

Spin-off here we come! Kim and Kroy set the scene for 'Don't Be Tardy For the Wedding'

Credit: Wilford Harewood/Bravo

The season's penultimate episode isn't very eventful, but nearly all the ladies are working it. Phaedra's getting closer to her dreams of big time funeral business. Cynthia's almost ready to launch her modeling school. Kandi's still prepping her sex toy line. Nene contemplates moving to LA and looking for someone crazy enough to cast her alongside professional actors. (Hello, Ryan Murphy!) And Kim gets engaged (and a spin-off!)...

"Bethenny Ever After"

 

Credit: Bravo

Last year I found myself hooked into "Bethenny Ever After" (Mon. 10 p.m. on Bravo) despite myself. Yes, former "Real Housewives of New York" star Bethenny Frankel can be crass, loud and annoying, but mostly she had a self-deprecating sense of humor that made scripted scenes almost tolerable and displays of conspicuous consumption a little less irritating. In some ways, she was the neurotic Manhattan version of Mary Tyler Moore 2.0 -- married with a kid in the big city, she was going to make it after all. 

Michael Costello, Austin Scarlett and Mondo Guerra battle it out for to finally win "Project Runway." 

Credit: Lifetime

With regular "Project Runway" queen Liane Bonin Starr going on hiatus, I'm lucky enough to step in for the show's big finish (although look for a surprise below).  And after a season that was more entertaining than many might have expected (especially considering that host Angela Lindval turned out to be a cold meanie), the final three designers could provide a runway finale for the ages.

"Project Runway All Stars" 

Credit: Lifetime

Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...?

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch "Survivor," "The Voice," "Project Runway," "Celebrity Apprentice" or any other competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too.