So, for those of you who may have forgotten and the rest of you who have tried to blot out the unhappy memory of it, when last we saw poor Elena (Nina Dobrev) she was fixing to turn into a vampire. While you'd think hanging out with vampires, especially ones as hot as Damon (Ian Somerhalder) and Stefan (Peter Wesley) would make the whole vampire thing look pretty appealing, Elena does not want to be a vampire. I don't even think she'd wear the plastic fangs for Halloween or read the "Twilight" books; that's how much she doesn't want to be a vampire.
It's part one of the finale, and Melissa is soooo displeased that she's stuck with three boys in this last battle for Fashion Week. She's going to kick their asses! Okay then! I will say, though, that I'm also displeased. It's not that the guys aren't talented -- it's just that women do tend to understand some basic ideas, such as the one about women not wanting to look like houses, or wear outfits with big, enhanced hip cushions (Christopher? Take a note on that one), or generally look monstrous. Unless they're Lady Gaga, in which case it's a thing.
For the record: my appreciation of country music doesn't extend much beyond Johnny Cash. Combined with my hazy memories of the 1975 Robert Altman film "Nashville," which I remembered as being muddled (though I'm told it requires repeated viewings), I wasn't hugely excited about the ABC series "Nashville." Like the film, there would be politics (always a crapshoot in television dramas), singing (country singing, natch), a huge cast of characters and lots of soap. But anything with Connie Britton and Powers Boothe (and written by "Thelma & Louise" scribe Callie Khouri) was worth a shot I supposed, albeit reluctantly.
So, it's time for our double elimination. Is this really necessary? I think that the producers of the show have determined that the all-stars season just isn't exciting enough for some reason, so they need to throw a hella lot of spaghetti at the wall. A double elimination! Paula Abdul! Puppies! Okay, no puppies. Yet. But honestly, there's only so much drama I can take, ABC.
With "Here Comes the Boom," Kevin James proves he's more than the delivery guy we know from "King of Queens." In the movie (which he co-wrote), he plays a burnt-out biology teacher who finds himself pulled into MMA fighting to scare up enough money to save the job of a fellow educator, Marty (Henry Winkler), and the school's music program. It's a feel-good movie with lots of punching, slugging and body slams, as James has to take the brunt of the beatings.
This week, the "creative director" role falls onto the already overburdened shoulders of the celebrities, who are already having a hard time doing things like moving in synch to music, wearing silly dance shoes and getting used to mesh panels in places where they may not really want mesh panels. Really, I'm hoping this creative director thing is just a chance for them to say stuff like, "Please God, don't make me wear spangles and booty shorts this week" or "I don't want to pretend I'm a super hero/lame movie character/furry."
But wait! The producers couldn't possibly let the celebrities have too much control! That's what leads to vanity projects and horrible children's books! So, they have complete control… to the extent they get to re-do an iconic dance from the show. So, um, maybe they can suggest some arm flapping and a favorite color.
It's the second part of the three part "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" reunion, and, as Andy Cohen promises, nothing is off limits! Gosh, there really are benefits to casting a series entirely with narcissists without boundaries! Anyway, last week we left off with Rosie stomping around back stage, rending her clothes and going all She-Hulk on us, because Teresa insulted the memory of Kathy and Rosie's dearly departed dad. That's exactly where we pick up for part deux, though I'm disappointed to see that Rosie has not been put into restraints or been shot up with horse tranquilizer. But hey, there's a potential felony about to happen, so don't get in the way of that, Bravo minions!
As the sleek, mysterious and most definitely sinister Gavin and Olivia Doran on "666 Park Avenue," Terry O'Quinn and Vanessa Williams are so bad they're good. Calmly playing tenants Henry and Jane (Dave Annable and Rachael Taylor) like pawns in their own personal chess game, the Dorans turn manipulation into an art form. The pair took a break from filming at the show's Brooklyn soundstage to talk about the joys of playing bad, what they have planned for Henry and a tragic storyline coming up soon.