"The Vampire Diaries"

 "The Vampire Diaries"

Credit: The CW

'The Vampire Diaries' recap: 'Growing Pains'

The vampires of Mystic Falls are under attack, but Elena's got real problems

So, for those of you who may have forgotten and the rest of you who have tried to blot out the unhappy memory of it, when last we saw poor Elena (Nina Dobrev) she was fixing to turn into a vampire. While you'd think hanging out with vampires, especially ones as hot as Damon (Ian Somerhalder) and Stefan (Peter Wesley) would make the whole vampire thing look pretty appealing, Elena does not want to be a vampire. I don't even think she'd wear the plastic fangs for Halloween or read the "Twilight" books; that's how much she doesn't want to be a vampire.

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"Project Runway"

 "Project Runway"

Credit: Lifetime

'Project Runway' recap: 'Finale, Part 1'

Melissa, Fabio, Christopher and Dmitry fight for the final spots

It's part one of the finale, and Melissa is soooo displeased that she's stuck with three boys in this last battle for Fashion Week. She's going to kick their asses! Okay then! I will say, though, that I'm also displeased. It's not that the guys aren't talented -- it's just that women do tend to understand some basic ideas, such as the one about women not wanting to look like houses, or wear outfits with big, enhanced hip cushions (Christopher? Take a note on that one), or generally look monstrous. Unless they're Lady Gaga, in which case it's a thing. 

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"Nashville"

 "Nashville"

Credit: ABC

Review: Whether or not you like country 'Nashville' hits all the right notes

Connie Britton, Hayden Panettiere and great writing will draw you in

For the record: my appreciation of country music doesn't extend much beyond Johnny Cash. Combined with my hazy memories of the 1975 Robert Altman film "Nashville," which I remembered as being muddled (though I'm told it requires repeated viewings), I wasn't hugely excited about the ABC series "Nashville." Like the film, there would be politics (always a crapshoot in television dramas), singing (country singing, natch), a huge cast of characters and lots of soap. But anything with Connie Britton and Powers Boothe (and written by "Thelma & Louise" scribe Callie Khouri) was worth a shot I supposed, albeit reluctantly.

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"Dancing with the Stars"

 "Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' has a tough double elimination

One unlucky couple gets stuck with a Bollywood routine next week

 So, it's time for our double elimination. Is this really necessary? I think that the producers of the show have determined that the all-stars season just isn't exciting enough for some reason, so they need to throw a hella lot of spaghetti at the wall. A double elimination! Paula Abdul! Puppies! Okay, no puppies. Yet. But honestly, there's only so much drama I can take, ABC.

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Kevin James

 Kevin James

Credit: HitFix

Watch: Kevin James talks about getting beaten up on 'Here Comes the Boom'

The 'King of Queens' star find his inner Rocky for movie role

 With "Here Comes the Boom," Kevin James proves he's more than the delivery guy we know from "King of Queens." In the movie (which he co-wrote), he plays a burnt-out biology teacher who finds himself pulled into MMA fighting to scare up enough money to save the job of a fellow educator, Marty (Henry Winkler), and the school's music program. It's a feel-good movie with lots of punching, slugging and body slams, as James has to take the brunt of the beatings.

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Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani on "Dancing with the Stars"

 Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani on "Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

'Dancing with the Stars' celeb Melissa Rycroft talks about hating Tuesdays

The star hoofer talks to HitFix about the competition
To some, Melissa Rycroft may forever be the bachelorette Jason Mesnick chose on "The Bachelor," then tossed aside. The good news is that a lot more people know her from the eighth season of "Dancing with the Stars" (on which she finished in second place after coming in as a last-minute replacement for Nancy O'Dell) and her current stint on the all-star edition of the show. I spoke with Melissa, who also has her own reality show, ""Melissa and Tye: A New Reality" on CMT, about returning to the same old stomping grounds, 
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"Dancing with the Stars"

 "Dancing with the Stars" 

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' hands the creative reigns to the celebs

Paula Abdul is announced as next week's guest judge

This week, the "creative director" role falls onto the already overburdened shoulders of the celebrities, who are already having a hard time doing things like moving in synch to music, wearing silly dance shoes and getting used to mesh panels in places where they may not really want mesh panels. Really, I'm hoping this creative director thing is just a chance for them to say stuff like, "Please God, don't make me wear spangles and booty shorts this week" or "I don't want to pretend I'm a super hero/lame movie character/furry." 

But wait! The producers couldn't possibly let the celebrities have too much control! That's what leads to vanity projects and horrible children's books! So, they have complete control… to the extent they get to re-do an iconic dance from the show. So, um, maybe they can suggest some arm flapping and a favorite color. 

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"The Real Housewives of New Jersey"

 "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"

Credit: Bravo

'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' recap: Reunion pt. 2

Things get ugly when Rosie and Joe Giudice join the show

It's the second part of the three part "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" reunion, and, as Andy Cohen promises, nothing is off limits! Gosh, there really are benefits to casting a series entirely with narcissists without boundaries! Anyway, last week we left off with Rosie stomping around back stage, rending her clothes and going all She-Hulk on us, because Teresa insulted the memory of Kathy and Rosie's dearly departed dad. That's exactly where we pick up for part deux, though I'm disappointed to see that Rosie has not been put into restraints or been shot up with horse tranquilizer. But hey, there's a potential felony about to happen, so don't get in the way of that, Bravo minions!

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Terry O'Quinn and Vanessa Williams

 Terry O'Quinn and Vanessa Williams

Credit: ABC

Watch: Vanessa Williams and Terry O'Quinn talk being evil on '666 Park Avenue'

The stars promise a tragic backstory will be explored soon

 

As the sleek, mysterious and most definitely sinister Gavin and Olivia Doran on "666 Park Avenue," Terry O'Quinn and Vanessa Williams are so bad they're good. Calmly playing tenants Henry and Jane (Dave Annable and Rachael Taylor) like pawns in their own personal chess game, the Dorans turn manipulation into an art form. The pair took a break from filming at the show's Brooklyn soundstage to talk about the joys of playing bad, what they have planned for Henry and a tragic storyline coming up soon. 

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"The Amazing Race"

 "The Amazing Race"

Credit: CBS

Reality TV Roundup: The latest on 'Amazing Race''s hot dancers, 'Voice,' 'Survivor' and more

It's been a busy week, so get all your reality news here, now
Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...
 
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 
 
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