The Thanksgiving Day reality TV marathon guide
Thanksgiving Day means expressing gratitude, connecting with loved ones, and sharing a meal. It also frequently involves overeating, preparation for Friday's orgy of consumerism, and rapidly getting annoyed with your family and friends.
Thankfully, there's a solution: getting lost in hours of reality TV marathons.Many cable networks have scheduled them, so here's a guide to all of the television you can escape to when you ditch your family or just seek out a television without a parade or football.
First, cleanse your television palate by binge-watching fall's best reality series, Starz's "The Chair," online or on demand. It follows the creation of two films that both use the same script, which is thematically appropriate: both "Hollidaysburg" and "Not Cool" are about returning home for Thanksgiving for the first time after being away at college.
When you're done with artful reality television or just need families more dysfunctional than your own, there's a 13-hour marathon of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" (E!, 7 a.m. to 8 p.m.). A&E starts the day with "Dog The Bounty Hunter" (A&E, 8 a.m. to noon) and then the "Duck Dynasty" clan takes over its network during the afternoon (A&E, 1 p.m. to 11 p.m.), except for a one-hour break for two episodes of "Country Bucks" (A&E, 4 to 5 p.m.). Also try "90 Day Fiance" (TLC, 6 a.m. to 1 p.m.) or "Tamar & Vince" (WE tv, 4 to 10 p.m.)
If watching TV about another family with your family isn't quite surreal enough, watch other people's families watch television with a three-hour marathon of "The People's Couch" (Bravo, noon), which is followed by 7.5 hours of "The Millionaire Matchmaker" and its awful star Patti Stanger (Bravo, 3 p.m.), who people apparently trust to find them a life partner.
Holidays are a great time for nostalgia, so remember what "Mythbusters" was like before Discovery fired Kari, Tory, and Grant -- and before Grant started working for McDonald's -- with this 12-hour marathon (Science, 6 a.m. to 6 a.m. Friday).
Check out your other viewing options on page 2, including "Planet Earth," "Shark Tank," "Life Below Zero," "Extreme Couponing," and more.