As rumors of a Smiths’ reunion light up the the internet again today, we reached out to former lead singer Morrissey’s publicist, who shut down the possibility of the British band reuniting at Glastonbury... or anywhere else.

The Smiths will NEVER get back together,” Morrissey's rep replied to our email request for a response to the flurry of rumors running rampant. That mean, of course, that this round of speculation would seem to be like the 1,289 ones before it: totally false. The uppercase is from the publicist, not us. She sounds suspiciously like she's quoting Taylor Swift's current single, doesn't she? 

Ever since the band broke up 25 years ago, these rumors crop up periodically with varying degrees of support and varying amounts of zeros after the dollar sign (The going rate was apparently $75 million six years ago for a 40-date Morrissey/Johnny Marr outing).  Despite Morrissey saying he would “rather eat my own testicles” than reform the band, the rumors still come back again like a bad penny every so often.

This time, ground zero seems to be a U.K. entertainment website called Holy Moly, which is reporting that it is hearing from more than two sources that “The Smiths will reform in 2013...It’s a done deal...Dates are booked...Glastonbury is one of four dates.” As you will recall, there have also been rumors that Coachella offered to turn the whole event vegetarian if that would lure non-meat-eater Morrissey to reunite with his former bandmates. But there is apparently not enough tofurkey in the world to get this crew on stage together again.

As badly as The Smith fans want to see Morrissey reunite with Marr, Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce, it looks like, to paraphrase one of their album titles, “The Smiths Are Dead” ... and remain so.