We’ve got a new beef in the music industry and this time it’s between two very unlikely suspects: Lorde and Selena Gomez.

As you may recall, in late September,  Lorde called out Gomez for the lyrics in her hit, “Come And Get It,” saying Gomez was anti-feminist for recording a song that leaves her passively waiting for her man to come and get it.

“I’m a feminist, and the theme of her song is, ‘When you’re ready come and get it from me.’ I’m sick of women being portrayed this way,” said the then-16-year old Lorde in a radio interview. She also called Taylor Swift a bad role model because she’s “too flawless.”

Gomez has now responded to Lorde in an interview with Flaunt. She doesn’t so much defend her song, which she didn’t write,  as politely tell Lorde that cutting down your fellow sisters is the ultimate anti-feminist act: “That’s not feminism,” she says. “[Lorde is] not supporting other women. That’s my honest opinion, that’s what I would say to her if I saw her.” Selena Gomez says she’s a fan of Lorde. “I actually covered her song in all of my shows that I’ve done so far. I’m not sure if I’m going to continue that.”

In one corner we had a teenager who has seen a meteoric rise to fame in a matter of months who is happy to shoot off her mouth when asked and in the other we have a 21-year old who grew up on TV and in the public eye and is more used to the politics one plays in the entertainment industry. 

I wasn’t a fan of Gomez’s song—but not because of the passive lyrics, more because I don’t think it’s a good tune— but I remember being a teenage girl and wanting to flex your muscles with all your might before you really understand what you’re engaging in, so I certainly see where Lorde is coming from. Although if she listened to some of Gomez's other songs, she'd find Gomez takes a stronger and more active position in a number of them. Plus, a song reflects a particular mood, a moment in time, that's fleeting. It's best not to take some of these things so seriously.

Gomez’s response is measured, but she’s also right. In the truest sense, feminism means supporting other women. It’s not blind support and it doesn’t mean you’re always rooting for your fellow females no matter what they say, but there are ways to level your criticisms in a way that still shows you know we’re all in this together.

Who’s side are you on?