Jessica Chastain will cut you: 10 observations about the 'Crimson Peak' trailer
The first "Crimson Peak" trailer is here! Are you excited? I know I am. In fact, the Guillermo del Toro haunted-house chiller is my most-anticipated horror movie of 2015. Mia Wasikowska. Tom Hiddleston. Jessica Chastain slashing furiously with a bloody knife, in a cage! What's not to love here? Below are 10 pertinent observations about the first trailer (embedded above).
1. Mia Wasikowska's character is the gothic costume drama version of Haley Joel Osment.
"Ghosts are real...I've seen them all my life," says the elegant Edith in voiceover. Who will be her Bruce Willis? Who will be her Toni Collette?
2. Jessica Chastain gets to play a chilly (seeming) villainess.
We've been waiting for a good, juicy baddie role for the Oscar nominee, and it looks like Guillermo del Toro has finally put her pale, chiseled veneer to good use.
3. Blood coming out a of a bathtub spout just never gets old.
Okay, maybe a little bit old.
4. I'm sorry, but: CGI ghosts just aren't as scary.
Where's the cackling bathtub lady from "The Shining" when you need her?
5. This may be the most fabulous gothic mansion in horror movie history.
So many tapestries. So many stairs. So much richly-carved wooden stuff! This place is huge.
6. Being in a classy gothic costume horror film doesn't preclude one from making dumb, slasher victim-style mistakes.
"Never go below this level," warns Thomas Hiddleston. Cue Mia Wasikowska descending elevator shot!
7. We already know the answer to Mia Wasikowska's question "Has anyone died in this house?"
Goddammit, Mia, yes. The answer is yes.
8. Edith may or may not be a sacrifice to the house's contingent of hungry ghosts.
Which is one way to start off your marriage.
9. Ravage me, Tom Hiddleston!
Admittedly, this is not an observation.
10. Jessica Chastain wins it all with the trailer's most GIFable moment.
She's perfect for my period remake of "Caged Heat."