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I have a new goal in life: I want to be the girl in the 2 Chainz video whose entire performance is relegated to seeing her high-heeled legs from the knees down moving sexily from the backseat of a convertible in a garage. That’s a credit that’s going to be hard to prove. We guess she’s the stripper since he notes that his car is so big it has a stripper pole. What will they think of next?

[More after the jump...]

That’s not really the takeaway that I imagine 2 Chainz wants us to take away from his “Crack” video, a gritty slice of life about a crack dealer. There’s a lot of his own slang here (cr’nack is crack, there are several others like that we can’t write) , but it’s not too hard to figure it all out in context.  The entire video takes place in some kind of underground bunker, but 2 Chainz has everything he needs, including his ladies, his car, his Don Julio, nude women tastefully spray painted, and some poor person who seems to be trapped behind the sofa and is pushing through the flexible wall trying to get out.

There’s apparently a lot that goes into being a crack dealer, but it’s not without its rewards, as  revealed in this  couplet: “I had a foursome for Christmas/let me turn it down my baby mama listen/extra garlic butter I got Benihaha issues.”

“Crack” is on 2 Chainz current album, “Based on a T.R.U. Story.”