Recap: 'Sleepy Hollow' - 'Paradise Lost' but they still can't lose Katrina's bad choices
Welcome back! I hope everyone had a good Winter Holiday Of Their Choosing™ because it’s back to the grind. Especially for soldiers in the war against determined but inept evil.
Last time we saw the gang, Team Henry had pulled off a Hail Mary save, with the Horseman of War turning on his master and killing Moloch. But with cryptic phrases like “There were Horsemen before you, there will be Horsemen after you,” the words of Beyonce ring true: Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable.
Meanwhile, Captain Irving is dead and the Horseman of Death is still in chains beneath Sleepy Hollow. How will Henry’s change of heart affect the Crane family dynamic? Let’s find out!
We open seconds after we last left off. Ichabod is seeing flashes of lights because demons die like a flash bang. Basic demon biology here, guys. Duh. Also, the horns are fire resistant so I hope someone makes a killer Viking drinking horn from their fallen enemy.
Ichabod cries out twice for his wife in an outdoor whisper, then gives up and shouts in relief that Abbie is okay. This marriage is doomed. Katrina is here though, she was just off camera. I guess Moloch’s death flung her from her tied up perch on the tree? Or she’s up to no good. I mean, no one can be that dangerously naive about saving people from their poor life choices, can they? (Spoiler: They can.) Jenny also survived the ordeal and everyone just assumes Henry is dead and rides off into the sunset.
Sloppy work that surely won’t come back to bite them in the ass.
Six weeks later, Abbie is trying to explain “organic” food and farmer’s markets to a man to whom farm-to-table was a fact of life and not a privilege of the economically well-off. Though I call bullshit on Ichabod’s aversion to the grapple: farmer’s have been tinkering with produce since time immemorial. It just didn’t involve syringes. The weekly “Man Out of Time” bit is ruined when Crane spots a brimstone and worm infested apple. It’s all the proof he needs to declare evil is gestating again. What is it with this show and the pregnancy metaphors? I mean, childbirth is painful and sucks, but it’s not EVIL.
Back at the Exposition Library, Ichabod is getting his detective on: rotten apples are just the latest clue pointing to something fishy going down at Wilcox Farms. Abbie is all “Calm down, Nancy Drew,” before changing the subject. Turns out Ichabod has been sleeping at the library while Katrina lives at the cabin and hangs out with Abraham. Either Crane is in denial about the state of his marriage or…yeah, it’s denial. Girlfriend is choosing the Avatar of Death over her husband. Does she need to leave a blood red
lipstick mirror good-bye?
Abbie is too good of a friend to point out the obvious and off we go to check out the supernatural hijinks on the old Wilcox farm. An hour later, our heroes have found nothing. So is this farm abandoned? Because trespassing without a warrant is still frowned on. With nothing else to focus on, Abbie tentatively broaches the subject that they’re tilting at windmills and the danger is over. Girl, what part of SEVEN YEARS did you not understand? Right on cue, ominous evil chanting and light emanates from the barn. The barn with a cow skull covered in a bloody pentagram that’s just sitting outside in plain sight. Were you guys even LOOKING? Who misses that?
Chagrinned by their subpar investigation skills, Ichabod and Abbie skulk over to check it out. Inside the barn, the offspring of a Jawa and Darth Maul wear standard cultist robes and beseech the tiny fire to send them a new master. At least that’s what they’re doing until our heroes open fire. Just as I’m admiring the high quality make-up effects, the show kicks it up another notch with an angel. Complete with resplendent wings. Resplendent BLACK wings. Huh. Well, let’s reserve judgement. Perhaps they’re subverting the trope…OH MY GOD, that angel stole Xena’s chakram. I’ll forgive a lot of things, but nobody steals the Warrior Princess’s bit!
Not-Xena chases off the demons, pops his wings into whatever dimensional portal they live in when the budget can’t afford to animate them, and introduces himself. His name is Orion and he’s on a mission to track down and kill all the creatures that escaped from Purgatory when Moloch died. He knows they escaped because that’s when he, Moloch’s prisoner, also fled for the mortal plane. Welcome to the party, this year’s over-arcing storyline!
Meanwhile, underneath the city Katrina is visiting Abraham, which includes a silencing spell drawn with a glow stick. Neat. She’s determined to find a way to separate his body from the avatar of Death and revert him to human form. Ugh, her Pollyanna streak remains unbroken. Then the show goes a step too far. Katrina says she knows it’s her fault that Abraham turned to the forces of darkness. If she hadn’t fallen in love with Crane, then Abraham’s jealousy issues never would’ve gotten out of control.
EXCUSE ME? NO. DANGER DANGER. Abraham is a grown-ass man who made terrible life choices. Full stop.
Still reeling from this garbage, we return to Ichabod and Abbie who are sizing up their potential angel ally. Abbie gets a call from Jenny, and had to cancel Mission: Get Jenny Laid due to demon infestation. But now Jenny is going to call Southern Gentleman Aquaman, so everything went better than expected. Then Ichabod gets a text from Katrina and leaves reluctantly. Angels should be trustworthy but then again, Lucifer was an angel.