After Reyes effectively put an end to all occult shenanigans last week, Jenny and Crane are out of the police sidekick game, and Captain Irving is wrestling with the truth bomb that his lawyer is the Horseman of War.

On the plus side, Abbie made a new friend in Hawley, aka Southern Gentleman Aquaman.

What adventures await our plucky heroes this week? Will Katrina finally remember witches are good at things like WITCHCRAFT and ground her wayward son? Probably not, but one can hope.


In the dead of night, in a spooky house, a little girl is lulled outside by equally spooky music. Props to whoever keeps trying to make this SINGLE colonial house look different enough to be at least three different homes. The little girl disappears into the night, escorted by a dude playing the flute, so I’m sure she is 100% okay and not headed towards imminent death.

The next day, Abbie is giving Ichabod eight kinds of hell for being a big baby about learning to drive. The man has photographic memory and there is exactly zero reasons for her to be Driving Miss Daisy-ing him all over hell’s half acre. Crane finally admits he’s been messing with her the whole time, proving it with some precision driving that show he has a great back-up career as a stunt driver lined up if this End of Days gig goes toes up.

Suddenly, an Amber Alert. Crane is instantly ready to assist with the retrieval of a stranger’s child because he is not a jaded asshole like the rest of us. Since Abbie is A) police and B) knows the family with the missing kid, they race over the scene…with Mills driving. Perhaps this was Ichabod’s plan all along? If you do something badly enough, people stop asking you to do it.

At the house, the parents are understandably upset. Some setup is…set up. The parents didn’t think they could have kids, so they adopted two boys. Then surprise! Sarah, the missing girl, was a happy accident. The kids get along great, Sarah is a good kid, etc. etc. A bunch of party decor indicates she just turned ten. Mom is blaming herself for falling asleep while working and thus, not setting the alarm. But what kid doesn’t know the code to the house alarm? Little Sarah was getting out no matter what. Don’t beat yourself up, lady.

Speaking of said lady, Abbie knows her because Mrs. Lancaster was Abbie and Jenny’s case worker after they became wards of the state. So Abbie feel particularly dedicated to helping someone who helped her during a dark moment. I’d scoff at the coincidence but Sleepy Hollow is a small town. They probably only have a handful of CPS workers.

While Mills is comforting the parents, Crane is skulking around in the bushes like a common thief. Even with Reyes nowhere in sight, he is still barred from police work. His spying turns up the Lancaster family is related to someone he knew during the war. Okay. NOW I CAN SCOFF. 

Abbie spots her wayward partner is like “Get out of the bushes, you damn fool!” and off they go to scour the woods for any sign of Sarah. Crane is bitching all the while about how Daniel Lancaster was a scoundrel and didn’t join the war until he was certain which side would win. How Abbie hasn’t rolled her eyes so hard that they fell out of her head long ago is a miracle.

In the woods, Crane and Mills stumble across signs of a struggle. Blood spatters and trail that ends in a bone flute. A bone flute that definitely looks like it is nefarious. A bone flute that Ichabod Crane IMMEDIATELY puts his mouth on and starts to play. What the hell, Crane? Gross. The music sounds eerily similar to what we heard earlier and Abbie is instantly put into a trance. She wanders quite a bit into the swamp before Crane realizes he’s accidental worked a spell on her and stops. 

Quite dramatically, Ichabod declares they’re dealing with a Pied Piper.

Back at the Exposition Library, Abbie has been looking for clues about the bone flute when Ichabod appears. He is still pissed off he has to use the secret doors to hide from Reyes. Much like when he had to hide from Betsy Ross because she was basically his groupie. Mills puts the kibosh on the trip down memory lane, because the show only has a runtime of one hour. 

Crane recalls a legend of a Pied Piper — not THE Pied Piper — who supposedly lured an entire regiment of British soldiers into the night with music and promptly murdered all of them. Ichabod is put off by this honorless killing and sadly Abbie does not tell him to “suck it up, princess.” Instead she helps him figure out the flute is playing a summoning spell. The extrapolate that if Crane can play the music again, she might lead them to Sarah. Mills is getting a little too comfortable playing the role of “bait.”

Worried for her safety — and those of any passing Red Shirts™ — Crane devises a plan. He has his phone record a 30 second loop of the bone flute song and let’s Abbie wear her earbuds. To be honest, I’m surprised this worked. It feels like magic should need to be physically present to work. Like how you can’t smell smoke while watching a fire on TV.

Luckily, magic in the Sleepy Hollow’s world doesn’t play by my finicky rules and Abbie is instantly entranced and on the move. It doesn’t take long until Crane spots movement and brings Mills back to the land of the fully conscious by removing her earbuds. Abbie is on point, drawing her weapon and ready for a fight as soon as she regains control of herself. I like this pragmatism.

But it is all for naught. For the movement in the woods wasn’t the Piper but our favorite Southern Gentleman, Mr. Hawley! SGA is injured but not critically. He tells our heroes he saw Sarah recently and she’s probably still alive. But he was attacked by the Pied Piper. Crane is suspicious and Hawley is all “calm down Pride and Prejudice.” He was on a job to find the bone flute — not save the girl — because it’s a high value artifact.

However, SGA is still an expert on the occult and drops some much needed backstory. The Pied Piper is a local legend. Mr. Daniel Lancaster hired a mercenary to kill the British troops who had commandeered his house (and daughters) and then betrayed the merc as soon as the job was done, because he’s an idiot. In retaliation, the mercenary now takes one Lancaster girl every year on her 10th birthday because nothing says “revenge on a grown ass man” like inflicting terror and injury on girl children. The patriarchy is alive and well with demons. Surprise, surprise. According to the legend, the Piper kills the girl and turns her bones into a new flute.


Of course, Hawley doesn’t believe in any of this crap. He just assumes some psycho is reenacting the legend for giggles. Against Crane’s protestations, Abbie agrees to give Hawley the flute if he helps them find the girl and bring her back alive. SGA agrees.

We skip over to Captain Irving, who is deep in the throes of reading the Bible. When suddenly, a vision. Irving is in a future where everything is on fire and battle rages in a city street. His eyes are demon black and he straight up murders a dude while the Avatar of War sits astride his horse in the background. Irving is not amused.

Earbuds back in place, Abbie is on the move again. Hawley is confounded but amused by her entranced state, yet still solidly a non-believer. Crane is cranky about co-headlining “Hottest Dude In Sleepy Hollow” still but he preserves by consoling himself with talking out loud about the Piper and how he weaponizes tone and frequency to weave magic.

You know, if only they had a witch on hand to work through the intricacies of the occult. OH WAIT.

Mom. Wife. Geek. Gamer. Feminist. Writer. Sarcastic. Succinct. Donna has been writing snark for the Internet in one form or another for almost a decade. She has a lot of opinions, mostly on science-fiction, fantasy, feminism, and Sailor Moon. Follow her on Twitter (@MildlyAmused) for more of all these things.