I don't want Donny *or* Nicole to go home.

So I'm not at all pleased with Thursday's (August 14) "Big Brother" elimination episode as we begin. 

Donny's just been playing the strangest of "Big Brother" games, winning key POV challenges and getting support from Frankie and Derrick on Team America, but in a House of alliances, he hasn't made any.

And Nicole has been excellent at winning Head of Household challenges, but not so effective at wielding her power. 

Let's see how things pan out on tonight's episode...

9:05 p.m. We're up to Day 56 in the House. "Lies and secret identities have been exposed," Julie Chen says, teasing the potential for future backstabbing, but mostly talking about that moment on Wednesday's show when Frankie told everybody who his sister was and only Victoria seemed to actually know.

9:06 p.m. In the Head of Household room, Christine is giddy that she has chosen a side, specifically the side of the Detonators. She won't be so pleased when she sees how the other Detonators manipulated her. "I'm not pissed. I'm hurt," Nicole tells Christine, who admits that she was told about a plan to backdoor her. Christine pleads peer pressure, which doesn't work for a tearful Nicole, who fogs up her oversized glasses.

9:08 p.m. In the Have-Not Room, Donny and Zach complain about the hardness of the beds. Donny expresses loneliness, which somewhat sways Zach's sympathies. Nicole and Victoria mock Christine's devotion to Cody and try to strategize ways to stay in the game by any means necessary. Meanwhile, for not particular reason, we get a cutaway to a sleeping Cody waking himself up by punching himself in the face. Is that supposed to imply that Cody was sensing people talking about him? Did he get a rude awakening? Or was it just a funny thing that happened?

9:10 p.m. Nicole goes to Christine and makes the argument that Donny is the bigger threat and that he keeps sliding by. "Honestly it's getting through," Christine says of Nicole's point, somewhat inexplicably saying she doesn't trust a bone in Donny's body. Not one bone? I know he's done a couple shady things, but why blame his femur? "I'm this poor little girl that's alone and you want her out of the house?" Nicole mewls to Cody, again emphasizing Donny's greater threat. Cody has heard rumors that he's one of Donny's targets and he suspects that Donny may be a scheming. Cody and Christine are now unified in terror of Donny, but Derrick has to be only partially receptive since Donny's Team America.

9:16 p.m. Yes, Julie Chen. We know. NFL Football is coming to CBS this fall and Caleb, Christine and Frankie are getting to go to Oxnard to visit Cowboys Training Camp. This is the prize that Frankie won all by himself and I kinda wonder if there was any sort of conversation about how Caleb, who attempted to passively sabotage the Battle of the Block, got to come along anyway. Caleb is from Dallas and he's dreaming of meeting Jerry Jones. Will he get his wish? I mean, Jerry Jones is a shy, retiring man who shuns the spotlight and would never take the opportunity to ham it up on TV. Dallas is truly the home of the least publicity-friendly owners in sports, with Jones and fellow wallflower Mark Cuban. They first meet the Cowboys' Director of Communications, which isn't exciting And the mascot, which is fun, but not impressive. But then... JERRY JONES! "How's the show been? Challenging?" Jones asks them, explaining that training camp is also challenging. They each get field-appropriate Cowboys attire. Jerry Jones condescends to Christine, not-so-subtly maligns Frankie's masculinity and says Caleb looks like a football player. Out on the field, Jason Witten greets them and Tony Romo limps over to greet them, as does Dez Bryant. This is just like when the Pawnee Parks & Rec Department met the Colts, only not-especially funny. They return with lots of garb and a promise to watch Thursday Night Football. On CBS. 

9:21 p.m. Live, Caleb says he already knows some NFL players, so he was more impressed to meet Jerry Jones. Victoria is frenzied and giddy talking about the emotions of the week, which she admits are "over-the-top." Where are things with Zankie? Zach reminds us that he hates everybody in the House, but hates Frankie the leads. Frankie celebrates his solo Battle of the Block win, which he admits was an achievement. We keep cutting to Caleb and it seems like maybe Julie should ask Caleb a question about the ethics of quitting and abandoning your teammate on a challenge, but still reaping the reward from his victory. She does not.

9:25 p.m. Closing Statements. Nicole is practically hyperventilating and trying to avoid flashing America. She says that her dream came true and she was blessed to be there and makes no argument in her favor. Donny says that the hamsters have been like little brothers and sisters to him. "Little Brother" would be a "Kid Nation"-esque version of "Big Brother," right? The vote: Caleb votes to evict Nicole, as do Zach and Cody. What's happening with Cody's hair? Gracious. Victoria sticks with the House and votes to evict "the blonde bombshell." Frankie and Derrick vote to evict Nicole.

9:33 p.m. Julie Chen reads the results. Nicole's already bracing herself. By a vote of 6-0, Nicole is heading home. She keeps composed and exchanges hugs all around, staggering out in her high heels. It's impressive how well her dress matches Julie's dress. 

9:36 p.m. Interview time! Why did the hamsters target Nicole? "I'm such a physical beast," she says, with a touch of embarrassment. Asked if she wants to stay in touch with anybody currently House after this is over, she only says that she loves Donny. Nicole's frustrated and betrayed by Christine, but says it was a smart move. What did Nicole think when she learned the secret of Frankie's famous sibling? "I was trying to get him out of the house for a couple weeks, so all the fans who like her... Sorry!" she laughs. Facing the obligatory light-hearted grilling about her showmance and being reunited at the Jury House, Nicole says she really likes Hayden and she thinks he's "cute and nice and everything else," but she's only certain she wants to be friends with him and not that she's ready for love. As for the overall experience? "It was perfect. I loved every second of it," says Super-Fan Nicole.

9:39 p.m. Messages From The Hamsters: Christine says her vote was 100 percent just strategic. Frankie admires her passion and knowledge for the game, calling going against her the most difficult part of the show. Donny wants to remain friends and says he wants to remain friends. So unhappy seconds ago, Nicole now announces "I love them!" Nicole says if she got to return to the game, she wouldn't trust as many people. Julie tells her she may get that chance and Nicole lets out an adorably nerdy laugh of anticipation.

9:44 p.m. Tonight's Head of Household competition ties in with late-night visitors who popped up the night before. It's a bit awesome. Nicole and Zach are just chatting in the kitchen and Haunted Mansion-style ghouls start popping up in the mirror. Nicole shrieks and scurries. Frankie and Victoria do the same when a creature pops up in the bathroom mirror. "Paranormal Activity"-style, we watch more spectral happenings ensue throughout the night, followed by a message from the Big Brother Emergency System. They're told that there are reports of zombie-like creatures. It's the zombie apocalypse and it has impacted all of their hometowns. Blather about not eating other hamsters follows. Caleb and Cody and Zach seem bored. Victoria looks like she isn't totally sure if this is part of the show. Funniest part? The reference to the Walking Dead making up 40 percent of the "Big Brother" live feed audience. Most awkward part? The announcement makes reference to this being the end of civilization and encouraging them to take advantage of showmances while they still can. Cody pounces on Nicole, but nobody else was paying attention, so he has to explain the joke, which makes it much less funny and much more creepy.

9:49 p.m. Set in a backyard cemetery, the actual competition is called "Dead of Household" and it's a series of questions about the emergency system warning people were only kinda paying attention to. It comes down to Cody, Derrick and Frankie.

9:53 p.m. Your new Heads of Household? Derrick and Frankie. Particularly excited? Frankie, who gambols about the cemetery. Derrick doesn't seem displeased, but he underplays it as he's underplayed everything this season. You sense Julie Chen is ready to just give Derrick the 500K.

9:55 p.m. It's professional reality contestant Rachel Reilly. "So good to be here!" Rachel announces. She doesn't understand why the girls are clinging to the boys the summer. "Sisters before Misters, am I right?" says the woman who met her husband on "Big Brother." And she loves Zankie. "I hope that they're friends forever, because they're adorable," Rachel says, giving Derrick her endorsement as the season's best player. Rachel wants Nicole back in the House. Fine. Rachel and I are on the same page on everything. And I liked that she supported Luke on "The Amazing Race." Fine. Team Rachel.

Do you agree with Rachel? Will you miss Nicole?