Where were we? Oh right! Donny upset the field and won the PoV and then used it to protect Jocasta, whose most important piece of gameplay all season has been getting violently ill when she was on the Block and letting Donny rescue her.
Let's get down to business!
9:02 p.m. Why is the camera shaking? Stop shaking the camera.
9:02 p.m. The episode begins in the aftermath of Donny's heroic liberation of Jocasta from the Block. Caleb knows that if something bad happens, his decision to put himself on the Block could be one of the dumbest in "Big Brother" history. After several weeks in virtual anonymity, Jocasta is a bit nutty with tearful gratitude.
9:03 p.m. Speaking of nutty, Caleb is in the Have-Not room and he's giving up his covers for Amber, not that she's asked for any of this. "I think at the end of the day, I'll win a date with her," Caleb tells an incredulous Hayden. And people are beginning to notice that Caleb has gone all catawampus over Amber. Cody is particularly worried about where Caleb's brain is at, while Donny also views Caleb/Amber as a two-vote threat.
9:07 p.m. In a strange digression, Victoria comes out to the pool area in a bikini and heels and the guys all hoot at her. And Hayden admits, at least somewhat seriously, that he doesn't know Victoria's name.
9:08 p.m. And back to flirtations between Cody and Amber, with Caleb constantly intruding."I just think that Caleb-and-Amber is not a good look for us," Cody says.
9:12 p.m. Nicole and Hayden are cuddling and agreeing that this wasn't planned. "I'm finally starting to make some moves!" says Hayden. But he still hasn't gotten a kiss. Nicole is worried that maybe Hayden won't be a good kisser. And in lieu of kissing, they smell each other's hair and praise each other for their hygiene, at least until Victoria, The Orthodox Cockblocker, breaks them up.
9:16 p.m. Cody and Devin are talking basketball -- Somebody needs to give the hamsters updated free agency news! -- which leads to talking about parental custody, specifically Devin's plans and his hope for his child. Devin spent time in rehab, but now he wants to go back to school and change his life. Cody is pleased to see this open side of Devin, a side he saw earlier in the game. The Suite Life of Zach and Cody get together to discuss Devin's bad choices and the idea that booting Caleb might be better for their game. "At this point, Devin's really alone in the house. Caleb's a beast," Zach suggests. He takes the strategy conversation to Frankie. "He's letting a girl cloud his judgment and he's gonna get bit in the ass for it," Zach tells Frankie. Frankie goes to Christine and Derrick, who are both somewhere between "excited" and "curious" about this possibility. It's a fun game of telephone. Purple monkey dishwasher. "He's always gonna be a larger target than me as long as he's in this game," Derrick acknowledges. "Caleb has no one to blame but himself," Frankie declares. Intriguing...
9:20 p.m. Jeff Schroeder has been sent Down South to learn the truth about Donny. He didn't bring Jordan with him and, therefore, I don't especially care. First truth: Donny's parents haven't been watching. His dad likes "Gunsmoke" and "Bonanza" and other Westerns. His mom likes news and doesn't like seeing Donny in shorts. Jeff has brought clips from the season to show Donny's parents. The clips focus on the houseguests and their confusion about Donny's past. All of Donny's kinfolk are giddy at the idea that Donny could be thought of as a military guy or a doctor. It turns out that Donny has always been full of one-liners. And Donny getting emotional makes his family emotional. "He come from a family that doesn't give up" says Donny's brother who "don't have a left arm." We learn about Donny's brother and their tight relationship. Awww. Donny's sisters are dismissive of the idea that Donny could ever be considered a rat. Jeff sits on the couch with Donny's parents and the do Sudoku. I wish it were Jordan.
9:24 a.m. Jocasta is feeling better, all smiles. "That so much so, because I was feeling so down!" Jocast says of Donny saving her. "I'm not the friendliest person and there are a lot of people on this Earth that I don't like," Zach says, telling Julie that all of the hamsters are annoying. Everybody laughs at him as if he's joking. "Is 'Survivor' still hiring?" Hayden says of his time as a Have-Not, a designation that we've heard nothing about. This week? No Have-Nots, but they should expect the unexpected. It turns out that's what the BBTracker is for. Lazy people get screwed? How is that fair? Somebody's gotta stand up for the lazybones and that somebody's gotta be me.
9:29 p.m. It's nearly time to vote, but only after Final Statements. "God gets all the glory for me even being here," Caleb says, not acknowledging that he forgot to button his shirt. What he tells the hamsters is that he and Devin are both beasts, but Devin has lied and backstabbed. "There's no doubt that I've had some highs and some lows in this game," Devin says, vowing to continue to admit his faults and right his wrongs. "I would carry any one of you down to the Finals," he says.
9:32 p.m. Voting! Jocasta, back from the dead, is up first: She votes to evict Devin. Donny votes to evict Devin. Nicole-the-Frog happily votes to evict Devin. So much for this week's voting complications. Hayden, after frog-hopping past Nicole-the-Frog votes to evict Devin.
9:37 p.m. OK. Back to the business of voting Devin out of the House. So far it's 4-0. Zach votes to evict Devin and does his Gator thing. Zach's Suite Life partner Cody casts the deciding vote and Devin is doomed. Victoria piles on Devil Devin. Frankie does the same and blows kisses at Julie. Amber and Christine vote to evict Devin as we get closer to unanimity. Devin saved Brittany, but she doesn't return the favor. And that's that.
9:40 p.m. Devin has a trademark insincere smirk as Julie reads the 11-0 vote. He whistles at the margin of his demise, but he saw this coming. Brittany gives Devin a parting gift that we can't see. I assume Julie will inquire about it. The hamsters celebrate Devin's departure and Caleb celebrates his abs.
9:41 p.m. It's a tin-foil heart that Brittany gave Devin. "I'm not surprised at all," Devin says of the result, admitting that playing hard was his downfall. Devin talks about the paranoia of the HoH room and the struggles of managing an eight-person alliance. Devin has mixed emotions about the game he played and what his daughter might see. Devin gets one last guess on Donny's profession and he guesses something affiliated with Harvard. Julie tells him the truth.
9:45 p.m. Messages from the House: "Your army that you formed turned against you and that's so sad," Jocasta says. "I really think you're an awesome guy," Caleb says. "You're possibly the worst player in 'Big Brother' history because your social game was God-awful," Zach says. Devin smirks insincerely. Donny wishes Devin luck.
9:45 p.m. The hamsters had to form duos in a random draw. It's Victoria-Christine, Caleb-Nicole, Brittany-Jocasta (they're very excited), Amber-Zach, Donny-Hayden and Cody-Frankie. "This is bound to be the most *heated* battle of the summer," Julie Chen says. See? Because there are flames in the backyard? And flames give off heat? And "heated" can mean both "warmth" and "intensity"? Oh, puns.
9:51 p.m. This is going to be a Head of Household that won't get completed tonight, I'm assuming. The competition is called Deviled Eggs and I loved deviled eggs, so I love this competition. It actually looks like it might be a quick one, even if I don't understand what they're doing. They're transferring eggs through chicken wire or something. And they're swearing up a storm, so there's almost no audio beyond the faux-death metal on the soundtrack. Oh yeah. This is gonna take a while and they're not gonna be done before the end of the episode. And beyond the music and the flames on the walls and all of that, it's not an especially TV-friendly task.
9:57 p.m. We want Team America to get "Someone they believe is a physical threat" put on the block. What the heck does that even mean, America?
9:58 p.m. Team Amber-Zach and Team Cody-Frankie are in the lead, but they've only moved one of the dozen eggs. Ashes begin to fall on the contestants because "Where there's fire, there's ashes."
Sad to see Devin go?