<p>Rachel in &quot;Glee&quot; episode &quot;The Power of Madonna&quot;</p>

Rachel in "Glee" episode "The Power of Madonna"

Recap: 'Glee' gets busy to 'The Power of Madonna'

Jumping the shark with shark-jumpers

 

This is the episode that Madonna made, thus, this episode is largely about sex.
 
To be fairer, “The Power of Madonna” was more like the Church of Madonna, with the pop prowess of Madge shoved into every nook and cranny, interstitial and improbably plot device of “Glee.” And sex has been waiting to rear its bald head ever since the episode last year where the gang tackled “Push It.”
 
But all Madonna all the time? A show of high school outcasts, musical lovers, gays and fanatics made for outcasts, musical lovers, gays and fanatics, this show jumps the shark by design – consciously so – with branding crossovers like this as a continuance of shark jumpage. It does not surprise me, though, “The Power of Madonna” didn’t exactly delight me.
 
Onto the show! Seemingly from out of nowhere, all in one day, Sue Sylvester reveals her love of Madonna to her diary, and to everybody in the school, with magnum force, using her blackmail toward Principal Figgins to “pipe in” Material Girl songs all day to every room of the school. We’d ask for money, or a nicer office, but to each their own. Sue likes Madge’s “take-no-prisoners demeanor” which, natch, means she starts encouraging her Cheerios to, like Madonna, start dating younger men. It’s a long way to go to make the joke, but at least it gives us the opportunity to see Becky the Retarded Girl in the squad again.
 
Shoot over to Rachel, who is making girl talk with the other Gleeks, about “making out” and “doing the deed.” Without mentioning him by name – because they’re not supposed to be dating remember – she recalls Jesse St. James trying to encourage her to have sex after they were fooling around post-Wiggles concert. After she refused, he got crappy and left. Each girl went one by one to talk about their experience with sex: Mercedes “can’t wait for a guy to get mad at me for saying no”; Santana says “I never say no,” Tina recalls how Artie was dissing on her vampire look, the ilk. Mr. Schue overhears, concludes this is a problem with guys giving girls poor self-esteem about their bodies and control over their bodies, enter proselytizing.
 
Before we get there, we see Rachel trying to talk to guidance counselor Emma – sweet “panda-like” Emma who has never gotten busy herself – for some advice when it comes to knowing when one’s ready. This sets Emma off on an inner-tizzy (and leaves room for a good follow-up, wacky right-wing lady joke to last week’s Sarah Palin dig, this time Ann Coulter taking heat) but then again, what doesn’t?
 
Anyway, so Schue is trying to show the boys how awesome Madonna songs are, after seeing a stilt-enhanced Cheerios performance to “Ray of Light” and has informed the class their next theme is Madonna. The dudes are non-plussed, though conclude that Pantera is like the guy version of Madonna, which is somewhat astute. Something or other is said about the musical message of equality, the girls put on a show of “Express Yourself,” showing only flickerings of skin, thus dudes remain uninterested.
 
In an effort to date an “inferior man” (younger) and to mess with the Glee club/Rachel, Santana propositions Finn to “lose the big V,” a somewhat antiquated phrase I personally wouldn’t have written. “You’re as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. It’s exhausting to look at you,” she tells him. Woman knows how to woo. He’s like, no thanks, but after some heart-racing, library-lovin’, hallway-dancin’ action with Rachel on a “Borderline”/”Open Your Heart” mash-up (after she tells Finn that she’s secretly dating Jesse St. James), Finn is revved up and tells Santana he’s game.
 
Emma is told by Sue that she doesn’t deserve Madonna in her office (the wires were cut) for some ridiculous reason, which makes Emma throw herself at Schue (her words, not mine). They make a date to do the dirty that night, Schue is secretly excited because it turns out he’s a red-blooded male like all the other guys.
 
After an assault on Schue for stealing her idea of Madonna songs (“You can have Cher, Barbra, Christina…” but please note, kiddos, Madonna is NOT public domain, as Schue retorts) Schue makes a dig back at Sue, at her hair. This hits her like a ton of pom-poms. Kurt and Mercedes notice this, and approach Sue. Sure reveals that she’s had damaged hair since a Madonna-induced incident in her younger years, and that she’s just always been jealous of Schue’s wavy locks.
 
“Mercedes is black, I’m gay. We make culture.” Kurt astounds me with his wisdom. They decide to rope Sue into their little A/V project, a remake of “Vogue,” which we have posted for you here. If we were Kurt, and owned that white scarf, we’d wear it to bed. We’d wear it to the shower, to the gym. That is all.
 
Anyway, Jesse St. James (oh, that name) tries to make it up to Rachel, says he’s willing to wait, while Rachel spits out that she thinks she’s ready. As they hug, JSJ all but has horns growing from his head.
 
Split to three scenes: Finn about to get busy with Santana, Rachel with Jesse, Ms. Pillsbury with Mr. Schuester. Poor sweet Rachel “prepares” by wearing one of those nightgowns like she’s in “West Side Frikkin’ Story” and Finn/Santana have a hotel room that resembles a bordello. They all sing “Like a Virgin” all razzle-dazzlin’, but it ends up a mystery – for a bit – who actually ends up having sex. It is a fine opportunity for hair tossing.
 
All is revealed next, as Rachel and Finn catch up Monday on each other’s dates. Rachel lies and says it was “no big deal”: but she and Jesse didn’t “go there” because she feels like she’d be sleeping with the enemy. She also uses the phrase “give myself to you” which gives me the heebies. Finn says that he’s decided to wait: this is a lie. Cut to a scene of him and Santana sitting upright in bed, clothed (?) both of them feeling nothing. Santana says one shouldn’t expect to feel anything after the first “20 or 30 times.” It’s actually really sad, the way she says this.
 
And Emma and Schue, it ends up, didn’t have sex. Schue feels bad for letting her throw herself at him, they decide not to date until the divorce is final (but, hey, he filed that day!), he gives her the number to a psychologist to work out her self-esteem issues and sex and stuff. Also pretty bright.
 
All’s not right with Glee, though, because Jesse Saint James has transferred to McKinley. Schue’s down, because it gives them the leg up in competition for regionals, Rachel’s down so that she may feel more comfortable giving leg up on Jesse, Jesse says something about true love and how he’d rather be with Rachel than win another national title (remember: horns). The rest of the cast is unhappy because they think he’s a spy (true), he’ll take all the solos (also true) and he’s kind of a douche that nobody else seems to like (sure, he’s hunky, but true).
 
Fast forward to a pep rally, the marching band marches, cheerleaders cheer, and Mercedes and Kurt are singing – “4 Minutes” the lyrics to which I will now change to “We’ve only got 44 minutes to hear Kurt sing.” Schue is hurt, but the two students say they wanted more opportunity to shine, so they’re going to do both. Sue is satisfied. She also uses the term “brassy hag,” which is very loveable.
 
Ah, a spoken word-sound intro for the boys into the soothing sounds of “What It Feels Like
For a Girl.” I instantly forget it. After an over-the-top feminazi screed from Tina, Artie gets the whole “respect women” thing down, which soothes his gal. “I was really rude to you, and you’re awesome.” Then he jokes/propositions that “if you wanna get up on it, just let me know.” Haha.
 
Jesse St. James notices Finn talking to Rachel after school, gets all puffy-chested (a sing off! In the parking lot! 5pm!), Finn refuses, gets all sweet and let’s Jesse and Rachel have all the room they want. Which makes Rachel dreamy-eyed. They head off to “practice” which features the most overblown, ridiculously cheesy number the Gleeks have done yet: “Like a Prayer.” I for one don’t believe groups can take a 40-person gospel choir to regionals, but let’s just suspend that reality, shall we? There’s candles and stuff, break dancing dude makes another show. Kurt sings in falsetto and Rachel sighs. End scene.
 
Highlights this week include a pamphlet in Emma’s office entitled “Help! I’m in love with my Step-Dad” and the hallway of Madonna look-alikes from different eras, as Rachel and Finn sing past. Not a lot of action, not a lot of hot-and-heavy action, but there’s always next week’s not-Madonna ep.

 

Read Full Post
<p>Sawyer leads a group ashore at Widmore's beach on Hydra Island, and things don't exactly go as planned on this week's pivotal episode of 'Lost'</p>

Sawyer leads a group ashore at Widmore's beach on Hydra Island, and things don't exactly go as planned on this week's pivotal episode of 'Lost'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Lost' 6.13 - 'The Last Recruit' moves every last chess piece into place

Jack and Locke's fates appear interlocked and an important reunion arrives

"We're going to ditch Locke.  You, me, Jack, Sun, Hurley, and that pilot who looks like he stepped off the set of a Burt Reynolds movie."

Ditching the character-centric episodes we're used to, "Lost" kicked things into high gear tonight, moving quickly from commercial break to commercial break, offering up at least one major moment of catharsis, and finally brought almost all of the characters together in both timelines.  Even with that much going on, it managed to feel almost like the one last deep breath before everything kicks into overdrive, a final adjustment before the big finish.

Paul Zbyszewski & Graham Roland contributed the script tonight, and it must have been a tough one to put together.  Essentially, all this episode did was move chess pieces around the board a bit, getting everything ready for the war that is obviously coming.  In both of the timelines, major things are afoot, and characters are being drawn together, and purpose is coming into focus.  It's time for the endgame now, and this was the episode that had to happen to get us there.

The "previously on" montage was split equally between TIMELINE A and TIMELINE B this week, showing Sawyer as the cop catching Kate in the alley, then Sayid rescuing Jin, Sun getting shot, and Des running Locke down with his car.  We saw Locke throw Desmond down the well again, and then the moment at the end of last week's episode where Jack and Alterna-Locke finally came face-to-face.

Read Full Post
<p>Morena Baccarin and Scott Wolf of 'V'</p>

Morena Baccarin and Scott Wolf of 'V'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'V' - 'We Can't Win'

Fifth Column intrigue, baby drama, a UN Energy summit and V-on-human lovin'

Here's something I don't get, "V." Actually, here's something I don't get, science fiction. Why are all of the aliens you throw at me emotionless automatons, marching ever forward in their attempt to overthrow the human race? I get that this was probably horrifying the first time it popped up last century sometime, but since then, it's become a huge cliche, and it ends up creating monsters that are rather hard to invest in, monsters that are more types than actual characters to be horrified by. More often than not, the evil aliens are emotionless simply because that's what everyone thinks aliens should be like, and the number of stories that flip this on its ear is pretty small. You've got Spock, who's a logical force for good, and then you have a few works where the aliens are just bloodthirsty or something. But for the most part, it's just a long parade of aliens who don't feel a thing.

[Full recap of Tuesday's (April 20) "V" after the break...]

Aliens, generally, are just a way to confront the things that scare us most about ourselves. Because we really don't have any idea of just what a culture that evolved on another planet where we have no idea of the physical properties of the world would be like, we end up creating cultures that are roughly like cultures we've known on our own planet. There are a million alien Nazi rip-offs out there, and there are just as many cultures where there are two kinds of aliens, and the one kind of aliens picks on the others, and it's ALL ABOUT RACISM, SEE? The aliens in the original "V" were pretty handy Nazi metaphors, and that thorough grounding in the world of the French resistance in World War II made the whole thing work (to say nothing of the gerbil devouring).

The aliens in "V" more often than not feel like symbols standing in for, well, other aliens. The show made a few attempts to equate them to the Obama administration or the forces of democratic socialism or whatever in the first few episodes, but it always did so half-heartedly. Now, it's mostly just decided to make them aliens that are exactly like every other alien culture you've ever seen, and it's also shying away from letting them be truly evil. Seriously, now that Lisa is turning good, the only wholly evil alien is Anna, and that makes it hard to take the others seriously. The fact that these aliens are evil is just supposed to be understood. We've seen them try to keep humanity and the Fifth Column down, but that's kind of a self-preservation thing, no? The series has never given us a REAL reason to doubt the V's beyond the fact that they were bad guys in the original series.

 

I think this stems from the fact that "V" thinks it's a show with a complicated mythology, but it's actually a show that's pretty simple on the most basic of levels. The aliens are here. They're evil. And they have a plan. The thing is, I'm pretty sure 95 percent of the show's problems could be cleared up by just revealing everything that the show is keeping back for the season finale or whenever it wants to reveal them. I feel like new showrunner Scott Rosenbaum has a general idea of where he's heading with this, and I understand that it takes forever to change direction on a show like this. But there's no good reason that we don't know what the ultimate plan the V's have for humanity is. We're just supposed to accept the fact that they're terrible aliens, as though the show were terrified of moral complexity or just letting us know what the hell is going on.

I keep saying from week to week that the show seems like it's figuring out what it wants to do in some storylines and seems like it's slipping back in other storylines. But the things that do or don't work change so often from week to week that I'm not sure if any of this is working on a consistent basis. The one thing that I'm certain I'm enjoying is Morris Chestnut's work, as he seems to be taking a pretty ill-defined character and making him fun to watch. Seriously, do we know why Ryan betrayed the V's beyond the whole, "HE SUDDENLY GOT EMOTIONS!!!" deal? This whole idea that emotions separate the good V's from the bad V's strikes me as a way-too-easy answer to these questions of what makes an alien alien. I've seen it before, "V," and I'd like if we had some new twists in store.

 

Anyway, what worked for me tonight were a handful of scenes. I liked the scene where Alex was sent out to draw the fire of the V (who turned out to be a human, actually) and Hobbes tried to talk him through it. It was a low-rent version of that scene where Jason Bourne did the same thing with a guy in a train station in one of those movies, but it was fun, and it had some nice pacing. I also liked the idea that Lisa is developing emotions and she doesn't know what to do with them. It was obvious the show was going here from the first, but I always like to have a sense of forward momentum. And I liked the story of where Val was escaping to and how the V's ended up learning that, yeah, she's got an alien baby growing inside of her. All of this feels like it's pushing the story forward in interesting directions. All of this is less than a quarter of the episode.

 

It feels weird to say this, since Morena Baccarin was one of the big things I praised in the pilot, but Anna just doesn't work as a character. At all. She's too mysterious, and Baccarin often seems to be flailing without a direction to play other than coyly evil. The story where she is going to give humanity blue energy and the director of the UN is suspicious of her and Chad just isn't sure what to think was a snooze. It's yet another week where Chad's loyalties are tested and he comes down on the side of the V's out of pure self-interest. Yawn.

 

But even worse was the story of the team trying to stop Fifth Column members from getting killed. The resistance always threatens to turn interesting and then turns into a cop show, and every week, I complain about it. This week was particularly egregious, because that final scene at the docks was the sort of thing that could have been a great capper to the storyline and was, instead, a radically improved ending to a dull, dull, dull storyline. We need to see these guys executing well thought-out plans, not bumbling toward sheer moments of luck. And that's what's really keeping "V" down. It's about people who don't think things through. It's about people who react to an alien invasion - an invasion that humanity can't win - by talking about maybe doing some stuff someday.

 

 

Some other thoughts:

 

*** OK, I also liked the story of the two Fifth Column guys up on the ship thinking that Lisa could be turned in time and keeping her in her mother's good graces.

 

*** Somebody on some comments board for this show a few weeks ago said that he was only watching in case Laura VanderVoort took off her shirt again. Well, guy I don't remember the name of, this was the episode for you.

 

*** In general, the pop music they pick on this show is pretty awful.

 

Your question for the week: Blue Energy: Is it people?

Read Full Post
<p>Kate Gosselin of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Kate Gosselin of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Elimination - A national nightmare ends

A fan favorite gets the boot on 'DWTS'

You know what must really suck about being on “DWTS”? Having to wear your sweaty, nasty and possibly smelly costume from the night before for the results show. But hopefully that’s an indignity that Kate Gosselin won’t have to tolerate much longer, though part of me almost wishes she could stay in the competition in some newly created category, like “Just for Laughs” or “Aren’t You Glad You’re Not this Awkward?” because watching her stumble around the floor in a pink tablecloth was one of the best laughs I’ve had all week, and that’s got to be worth something.

[Full recap of Tuesday's (April 20) "Dancing with the Stars" results after the break...]

Read Full Post
<p>Crystal Bowersox of 'American Idol'</p>

Crystal Bowersox of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - Alicia Keys tries to help the Top 7 find Inspiration

With 'Idol Gives Back' a night away, only Crystal Bowersox is inspirational

We're only 24 hours away from the telethon thrill-ride that is "Idol Gives Back," but first our Top Seven must handle inspirational music in the hopes of avoiding becoming the contestant to get humiliated and sent home at the culmination of a charitable celebration.

Putting them through their paces is Alicia Keys, who manages to be ridiculously talented, philanthropic and smoking hot. Will she be inspiration enough for the Top Seven?

Recap of Tuesday's (April 20) performances after the break...

Read Full Post
<p>Kate Gosselin during Monday's (April 19) &quot;Dancing with the Stars&quot;</p>

Kate Gosselin during Monday's (April 19) "Dancing with the Stars"

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Performances - Evan and Nicole shine

Will Chad or Niecy be in trouble after Monday's dancing?

On “Dancing with the Stars,” otherwise known as The Accident by the Side of the Road featuring the Spastic Gyrations of Kate Gosselin, it’s Movie Night, and Erin Andrews is celebrating by flashing her bra. I’m not even kidding, the woman walks down the spiral staircase of awkwardness wearing a cardigan that’s been stapled together and a bra, which, even though it’s more fabric than Pamela Anderson has worn all season, just makes her seem really exposed. And possibly like the victim of a sexual assault. But maybe her movie is “The Accused” and not “Pulp Fiction,” you never know.

[Full recap of Monday's (April 19) "Dancing with the Stars" after the break...]

Read Full Post
<p>Mary Lynn Rajskub of '24'</p>

Mary Lynn Rajskub of '24'

Credit: FOX

Recap: '24' Day 8 - '9 a.m. to 10 a.m.'

In the wake of last week's death, Jack uncovers a new conspiracy. But an unlikely source stands in his way of bringing it to light.

Honestly, I prepared myself to say goodbye to another major character this week. In the past two episodes, we’ve seen two major deaths rock the “24” world. Each time Chloe popped up onscreen tonight, I prayed she was wearing Kevlar as part of her new job. We didn’t get any bloodshed this week, but we did get a lot of compromised morals. Specifically, President Taylor chose a path that will undoubtedly cause more pain than peace when all is said and done. And for that, we have her predecessor in the Oval Office to thanks. Her decisions lead Jack to a drastic action, one that kicks off the final leg of the show’s long run. 

[Full recap of Monday's (April 19) "24" after the break...]

Read Full Post
<p>Aaron Paul of 'Breaking Bad'</p>

Aaron Paul of 'Breaking Bad'

Credit: AMC

Recap: 'Breaking Bad' - 'Mas'

Walt's back in the game. So why are we all so depressed?

"He does it because he's a man." - Gus Frings

"Breaking Bad," down at its most basic level, is a show about men who are trapped between who they think they should be (largely driven by biological imperatives and traditional societal standards of masculinity) and who they actually are in a world that long ago abandoned the idea of the cheerful father who goes to the plant every day to make the money he needs to support his family. Not all of these men have made the choice to take hold of their own fate like Walter White has, and not all of them have taken the dive into the deep end of doing very bad things. But all of them are men who are adrift, uncertain of how the world looks at them or how to capture an ineffable something they always thought would be their birthright by virtue of their gender.

 

[Full recap of Sunday (April 18) "Breaking Bad" after the break...]

Read Full Post
<p>&nbsp;Ryan Phillippe</p>

 Ryan Phillippe

Credit: AP

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Ryan Phillippe plays Robert Pattinson and Ke$ha performs

'MacGruber' jokes and impressions aplenty fill another uneven 'SNL'

Considering that Ryan Phillippe’s cultural cache has never quite been the same since his split from Reese Witherspoon, and the fact that Ke$ha is a commercial construction rather than an actual artist, this week’s episode of “Saturday Night Live” feels particularly misguided. However, if you break it down a bit further, you realize that it is actually driven by two of the most common “SNL” justifications: Phillippe is starring in the big-screen adaptation of the show’s “MacGruber” sketches, and Ke$ha is the sort of internet/club sensation that could potentially draw in some new viewers. There isn’t really any comic or artistic reasoning behind their involvement (although Phillippe was perhaps my favourite non-Matt Dillon part of “Crash”), which leaves us to sort of accept that nepotism and blatant attempts to try to leverage flash-in-the-pan success stories are part of the show’s cultural legacy just as much as legitimate comic talent and particularly engaging sketches. 

A full recap of just how strong (hint: not very) an episode of “Saturday Night Live” with such handicaps can be after the jump… 

Read Full Post
<p>Mila of 'Project Runway'</p>

Mila of 'Project Runway'

Credit: Lifetime

Recap: 'Project Runway' Season 7 Finale - Part I

Mila and Jay go head to head, but only one will make it to Bryant Park

I’m not even sure I can watch this episode. It’s just too nerve wracking, and even though part of me would like at least one stinkin’ woman in the finals (c’mon, it’s a contest to design women’s clothes, you’d think the female perspective would be a good thing), the only woman left in the hunt is the Queen of All Evil (and Color Blocking), so not really feeling it. But then again, Jay has this tendency to dress like a J Crew float in the Electric Light Parade at Disneyland and make tacky Michael Jackson jackets and big butt dresses, so I’m torn.  

But, even if it pains me to do it, I’m watching, so let’s get started, shall we? 

[Full recap of Thursday's "Project Runway" after the break...]

Read Full Post