Recap: 'Big Brother' Thursday - Eviction and Christine-Cody Shaming
Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Big Brother' Thursday - Eviction and Christine-Cody Shaming

Deja vu: Did Nicole or Donny get to talk to Julie Chen tonight?

It's another "Big Brother" Thursday. Follow along for the normal live-blogging fun leading up to eviction.

9:01 p.m. "Tonight, your alliance is in jeopardy," Julie Chen tells us as the episode begins. That seems unfair. The hamsters in the House aren't required to still be in an alliance in the first week. Why do I have to stick with Team America?

9:03 p.m. When we left off, Cody was talking about making a big move, but then not making one, Victoria's head was swelling to the size of a watermelon and causing her to pass out and Donny was better than Team America didn't make "Saving Donny" into their mission for the week. Good times. Donny and Nicole are sitting on the Block.

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Donny on "Big Brother 16"

Recap: 'Big Brother' Wednesday - Snarking With Andy Herren

We invite Andy Herren, winner of BB15, to offer commentary about the remaining houseguests. Is Donny toast?

No use throwing an old-fashioned Zach tantrum on this very languid Thursday morning. Let's face the facts like cool, serene Derrick: The Wednesday edition of "Big Brother" was criminally dull this week, and that's -- Stuart Smalley voice engaged! -- OK. The rigged POV challenge resulted in an expected victory for the Detonators against Donny, Christine found herself floundering in her un-fascinating second life on the show, and Victoria commanded almost 80 seconds of screentime by inviting new teeth into her mouth. Yes, that's right: Victoria's teeth are more exciting houseguests than Victoria. 

To help us analyze the remaining players in the game, we invited our pal Andy Herren -- the winner of "Big Brother 15" -- to drop some commentary about the houseguests. We'll handle this in an orderly, completely asinine fashion. 



Cody: Hot Guy Playing a Cold War 

Andy Herren: Okay, so Cody has been getting a lot of hate from fans for being a “floater” and a “p*ssy.” I do not understand either sentiment. A floater is typically seen as someone who has no loyalty; a houseguest who grovels at the feet of whoever is in power. Cody has had a solid alliance with Derrick for WEEKS, and he is letting Derrick do most of the dirty work. I call that SMART. As for the “pussy” viewpoint, Cody is genuinely well liked by everyone at this point. Why on Earth would he make a “power move” and piss someone off? If he puts up someone from his alliance, people will think he can’t be trusted. By putting up Donny and Nicole, he has covered his bases and done the collective bidding of the house, which is the exact right move for his game this week. Also, he draws smiley faces in his zeros, and for that he will forever have a spot in my heart.  

HitFix: I echo Andy's support, but I will say I'm waiting for Cody to do anything worthy of a first-place finish on "Big Brother." So far he's managed to call everyone in the house either "This kid" or "This guy," which is not the sign of a brilliant Svengali. I admire the alliance he's built, but I still feel he's more likely to get nominated and booted than Derrick or Frankie.  


Nicole: The (Don't)-Comeback Kid 

HitFix: Nicole is in the unenviable position of being a houseguest who should've been eliminated, was eliminated, has come back into the game thanks to a truly awful competition that amounted to beginners' air hockey, and now must contend with people who are successfully competing. Even as she knows Donny is likely toast this week, she must win the next HOH -- and not just because she wants to stay in the game. If she doesn't win that HOH, her second chance in the house will feel like even more of a waste. We don't need more "waste" in a season that has forced Team America, Frankie Grande's "fans," and the ever-boring reign of Derrick on us. Nicole is easy to like and impossible to root for.

Andy Herren: Dammit, she’s adorable. No, scratch that: She’s aDORKable. Ugh. Scratch THAT. I don’t use words like adorkable because I’m not a monster. I really hope she can gain some traction in the house, because I think she’s smart in comparison to everyone else. This isn’t a huge compliment, as she is playing against people like Caleb and Victoria, who I worry may kill themselves by running into a sharp counter edge any day now.  


Donny: The Brilliant Ignoramus

Andy Herren: Donny’s ability to not understand that everyone hates him is probably why everyone hates him. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Donny, but his social game is atrocious.  He goes to bed early, he can’t gain any traction with people because he is unable to properly articulate himself without coming across as terrifying, and he consistently says the wrong things to the wrong people. I worry that he is going to leave this week, which breaks my heart, but it is also totally understandable.

HitFix: I guess Donny is sweet and sincere. I guess? Sort of. You know what he really is? A nightmare. I picture waking up in the "Big Brother" house to find Donny inches from my face and whispering, "Want to hear a secret that a parakeet told me?" And I really don't. Donny is the kind of character who comes off really well on "Big Brother": a hapless outsider who is very nice and even a bit keen when it comes to sticking it out as a fringe player. What he lacks in social skills and un-creepy cooing he makes up for with moments of intuition. I really wanted to him to properly align with some power players, but it seems like he's toast. He's been fun, but who can argue with his dismissal?



Victoria: Wisdom is Literally Falling Out of Her Mouth.

HitFix: Allow me to respond as Carrie Bradshaw to Victoria's performance this week: "When I realized that Victoria's wisdom teeth drama was more interesting than anything else she's done in the house, I had to wonder: Is a toothless victory ultimately worth it?" When Vicki's face looked a little puffy and I assumed it was because she was thinking too hard, that's when I knew she was a true "Big Brother" superstar. Question: How won't she get second place in this competition? She's headed for the sunny vistas of Ginamarieville, y'all. Ain't no one stopping her. Congratulations?

Andy Herren: She’s so useless that, even with a crippling wisdom teeth injury, everyone still wants her around.  It’s the point in Big Brother where the remaining players should have been praying that her injury would take her out of the game, but they all want to drag her to the final two, so instead they were praying for a speedy recovery.  I’m going to say it right now:  Victoria is playing the best second place game in the history of Big Brother.  Also, I’m still not over her IMPECCIBLE delivery in her goodbye message to Zach last week.  Go, Vicky, go!


Caleb: A Beauty in Beast Mode 

Andy Herren: He is easily the dumbest person in the house, and he is also the most boastful.  This results in a phenomenally monstrous combination of Caleb spouting nonsense, yet feeling incredibly confident about this nonsense.  At some point tonight, his adorably clueless face exclaimed, “We can’t trust Donny!  He’s thinking even when he’s not thinking!”  Please never change, Caleb.

HitFix: I wish every episode featured Caleb trying to explain how he knows another player is smart. Let me paraphrase his Donny analysis: "Donny! He's sooo smart. Sooo. His eyes -- they move. Watch his eyes. Sometimes he'll be talking, and his eyes will move. Over here. Down there. To the right. His eyes, y'all. I'm serious. His eyes don't sit still. Not at all. Look at my eyes. See how they look like sad Valium peepers of an old Furby? Donny's aren't like that. They act all jumpy. That's about all I got. Miss you, Amber."


Christine: Still the Reigning Underdog?

Andy Herren: Everyone seems to hate Christine, and I get it. She isn’t particularly engaging, she consistently plots against the players everyone loves, and she is ready to backstab at the drop of a hat. All of these are reasons why I still think she is a valid contender to win Big Brother 16. By not being at the forefront of anything, she remains in the shadows of bigger targets. By plotting against the players America loves, she solidifies her spot as a loyal member of The Detonators. By having a penchant for backstabbing, she shows that she has the cunning ambition to emerge victorious at the end of the season. Christine has been my pick to win from before the season even began, and I’m hoping she proves me right.

HitFix: Say what you will about her pettiness or cravenness or whatever, but Christine seems like one of the last few players left who could stage a coup and turn the game around. With Zach out of the house, what the hell else can we root for? 


Derrick: The Silent Strategist

He is controlling everything, and it is simultaneously maddening and thrilling. Maddening is the fact that his game play is making the season quite boring to watch.  The underdogs have remained underdogs, as Derrick and his cronies have steamrolled through the house for months. Thrilling is the way in which Derrick is able to enact his strategy to a precise degree. He has performed some sort of undercover cop voodoo magic trick on everyone, and they are all under his spell, willing to do his bidding at the drop of a (cut up pink) hat. 

HitFix: How weird is it that everyone in the house seems aware of Derrick's utter supremacy? No one's too alarmed about it either. It's very "Martha Marcy May Marlene" or "The Master" and Derrick is just John Hawkes/Philip Seymour Hoffman-ing it up while everyone else is playing an Elizabeth Olsen/Amy Adams game. Or whatever. (I never saw "The Master.") If Derrick could just be a little more hostile with his machinations, I'd really be on his team. But it's hard to applaud gameplay when it feels like his competition is merely falling in line. 


Frankie: One Less Problem Without Frankie

HitFix: It's week 97 and Frankie still looks like an adult member of the Burger King Kids Club. Do I think he's a fine game player? Yeah, basically. I'm not sold on his endgame, but he's been shrewd enough to know when he needs attention and when attention should be diverted. The problem is that he's someone who mistakes opening his eyes wide for having a personality. Some weeks that doesn't bother me, but this week it did. When will this guy's number be up? Soon? Hoping for soon, guys. That's the kind of "Break Free" he deserves. 

Andy Herren: No. Just no. I can’t anymore.  

Recap: 'Big Brother' Sunday - Boxing for Head of Household and Nominations
Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Big Brother' Sunday - Boxing for Head of Household and Nominations

Hamsters talk about big moves, but make predictable moves

I've been on MTV VMAs duty tonight, so this "Big Brother" recap is a bit late.


Since's it's already a bit late, I'm also not sure how much I'm likely to care about a Sunday telecast. 

Apologies for that as well.

But I'll try to convey the basics of what goes down on Sunday's (August 24) "Big Brother" telecast. 

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<p>Anna Paquin in the &quot;True Blood&quot; series finale</p>

Anna Paquin in the "True Blood" series finale

Credit: HBO

Recap: 'True Blood' Series Finale - 'Thank You'

Our revels now are ended

In its final episodes, “True Blood” pulled off a real bait-and-switch. The wild, freeform gory action of the first half of the season had led many observers, myself included, to predict an apocalyptic finale with dead bodies draped all over the set. Instead, the last couple of hours were a ‘shipper’s paradise, with the longest, most drawn-out sequence devoted to the surprise marriage of Hoyt and Jessica. Andy presides at the service, which is held at Bill’s house, and the out-of-the-blue nature of the ceremony has Arlene and Holly wondering if vampires can get pregnant. 

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12 and Clara - "Deep Breath"

Recap: 'Doctor Who' - Take a 'Deep Breath' for the 12th Doctor's debut

How does Peter Capaldi stack up against his 11 Doctor predecessors?

The wait is finally over. Peter Capaldi is the 12th Doctor and quite frankly, I am beside myself to see what he can do to bring the Doctor back to just this side of the darkness. Plus he has FLAWLESS bitch face. Warning, spoilers!



*Placeholder exclamation of joy until Capaldi settles on his own catchphrase.

We open on a beautiful sunset. In the Cretaceous period. Wait no. That Tyrannosaurus Rex isn’t roaring its way through the jungle but through the streets of London! Big Ben bongs out a warning and, if a monument could, cringes for inevitable impact. Thankfully it never comes.

Dinosaurs are far more courteous than aliens, it seems.

And we aren’t just in any old London, but Victorian London. The denizens are shouting but not in a “oh God we’re all gonna die” way but in more of a “Hey George come look at this quick!” way. Because honestly there’s been so much nonsensical things on the streets lately that no one would be the slightest bit ruffled by a giant lizard from the dawn of time wandering through the Meatpacking District. 

Speaking of lizards from the dawn of time, you can’t have a Victorian episode with Lady Vastra. Right on cue she and her wife Jenny (and manservant/potato Strax) appear. The T-Rex has something caught in its…her…throat. It’s the TARDIS isn’t it? Isn’t it, Moffat!?

It is.

While London’s finest stand about with the plebeians, goggling at something any normal person would flee from, Vastra and company head down to the beach. But not before giving the constables a containment field to place around the T-Rex. Sorts questioning Vastra’s judgment in giving such technology to a man who thinks dinosaurs puke blue eggs that say Police Box in English on them, but use what you have I guess.

I love how Vastra doesn’t want to assume the blue box is the TARDIS.

As per the rules of regeneration, the 12th Doctor doesn’t quite have a handle on his new body…or mind…yet. He confuses everyone with everyone else, seems perplexed that London has a dinosaur too, and makes us sad about Handles again before finally collapsing into the dust.

Cue the opening credits. They are brand new! So many gears and clockwork and…oh. My. God. Steampunk. It’s a steampunk opening credits! Yessssss. The spiraling Roman Numerals count from one to twelve over and over like a whirlpool. And so much blue. Blue is usually a calming color but I wonder what its significance here will be.

The Doctor awakens in Vastra and Jenny’s home and he is confused by bedrooms. And you know, he makes a good point. Why do we have an entire room just for sleeping in? I am now having an existential crisis about the amount of square footage bedrooms take up in my home. 

For the first time, the Doctor realizes he’s speaking with a Scottish accent. Only in the most roundabout, Doctory way possible. He’s not speaking Scottish, everyone else is speaking weird! Luckily Vastra knows how to inflect Scottish tones and manages to calm him back down. There’s a weird bit of near-flirting on the bed, because God forbid Moffat allow a single woman in the universe to not want to bone the Doctor, and then he is out cold again. (The Doctor, not Moffat.)

Hey wait, wasn’t there a giant frickin’ DINOSAUR wandering around outside?

Oh it’s cool you guys. She’s still outside but the containment field has her and they just rerouted traffic and everything is totally normal and be put on the back burner for now…because the Doctor is sleep-talking! Clara seems to think he’s translating for the T-Rex but I’m not so sure. I guess that’s the point. The sorrowful refrain of “no one can see me, I am alone,” applies either way.

Cut to a dude and his wife meandering about London. Really happy to see everyone taking this dinosaur predicament in stride. But wait, how much did people even know about dinosaurs in the late 19th century? To the Google machine!

Huh. Turns out the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t discovered until 1905. So not sure if this makes it more or less astonishing at how little these people seem to care about a displaced — and at this point — mythological creature. Urbanites are so jaded, you guys.

So jaded in fact that no one notices or cares when a cyborg harvests the eyes from a screaming gentleman in the middle of the street. No big deal.


Recap: 'Outlander' - The way out isn't with sugar and spice and everything nice

This week Claire tries to catch more flies with honey but will it work?

When we last left Claire, she was in the care of men who think entrapping would-be assassins and giving them access to your health care is a fine idea. It’s basically the world’s slowest game of Russian Roulette. I dub thee the Scottish Gambit!

And now I keep thinking about if Marvel’s Gambit had an 18th-century Scottish twin and…I need a moment.


Okay! Let’s see what shenanigans the gang is up to this week in “The Way Out.”


We open on Platform 9¾ as Frank is about to ship Claire off to Hogwarts for another year. Wait, no. Frank is shipping Claire off the front lines and he is not happy about it. Not that it matters because what enemy could even shoot straight while looking at Mrs. Randall is her stunning army uniform? Seriously, when is military chic coming back into fashion, Ms. Wintour?

But fashionable attire as armor aside, Frank is worried about Claire’s safety and jokes at the irony of this role reversal. The loving husband sending his wife off to war. He balances self-effacing jokes to his masculinity with legit fear and wow this show is doing a terrible job of making me hate Frank. As Claire swears to him she will return to him no matter what — FORESHADOWING — and disappears into the misty night, I am still solidly #TeamFrank.

Cut to Claire finally getting bath! It’s like they read my mind, you guys. Of course, standing in a basin while an elderly lady comments on the smoothness of your skin (creepy yet historically accurate) and douses you in ice cold water is not exactly the luxurious unwinding one hopes for when they hear the word ‘bath.’ But boiling enough water to fill a metal tub, then dragging said tub into the room, then moving all the furniture to make it fit, then bathing, then dumping it out and cleaning up would be such an arduous, sweaty task you’d need a bath from the act of taking a bath. So a brisk bit of cold water in a cold room it is! “Bloody hell” indeed, Claire.

However, the water seems to have washed away Claire’s common sense as well. While being dressed and having her hair brushed, she decides now is a good time to sound like a crazy person. If you’ve been wondering if the speech from the commercials was real— where Claire declares she fell through time and gives the audience a primer on her situation — this is the scene it came from. I appreciate the visual of having Claire wet and physically vulnerable during this emotionally vulnerable proclamation but girl, no.

Mts. Fitz does her best impression of trying to keep a straight face while internally screaming, but the waves of “This bitch is crazy” is radiating from her too wide eyes…and we’ve lost her. Mts. Fitz is convinced Claire is a witch, which RUDE. Clearly she’s just mentally unbalanced and/or has the worst cover story in the history of English spies.

HAHAHA JUST KIDDING. It was all a dream. Claire just pulled a “Who shot JR?” on us. My faith in her common sense is restored. 

But wait, what was Mrs. Fitz saying while Claire daydreamed about being burned on the pyre? Another gathering? With ALL the MacKenzie clan? It’s a Scottish Santa Smorgasbord! Hopefully they all wear their best mullet kilts.

Before we can go to Santa Valhalla though, Claire has to become the best damn medicine women since Dr. Quinn...or is Dr. Quinn the best damn medicine woman since Claire Beecham? Damn you time travel!

Most of what the previous healer was using was gross and unsanitary. Things like powdered human skull and the world’s grossest Surprise Can. You know, like when you open a can labeled ‘nuts’ and fake snakes pop out? Imagine that, only the can says “AOWIHJEOIF” (Gaelic probably) and out pops millipedes. The 18th century is awful…just awful.

Claire powers through because what’s a handful of bugs when you’ve been elbow deep in a screaming infantryman? She sorts through the useful stuff from the garbage, all while her guard watches from the stairwell. Hey buddy, maybe be a little less creepy with the phallic handling of your knife while staring daggers into the lady’s back. Or get bored because she’s just helping heal the the injured and not doing any cool Spy Stuff™ and go get a drink. 

It’s so hard to find good guards these days. If Claire were really an English infiltrator, these drunks would be dead in their cups by now.

<p>Zach of &quot;Big Brother&quot;</p>

Zach of "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Big Brother' Thursday - Eviction and a Jury Comeback

Will Arnett pours ice water on Julie Chen and other stuff happens too

I'm checking in on Thursday's (August 21) "Big Brother" after spending my afternoon and evening on the set of FOX's yet-to-shoot "Utopia," a new reality show that's exactly like "Big Brother" except for all of the ways it's completely different. 

"Utopia" isn't a competition and while people are sent home, they aren't "eliminations," per se. Also, nobody wins.

Somebody will definitely win on "Big Brother." And somebody will definitely go home, or at least to the Jury House, with the catch being that according to Julie Chen, tonight's episode will also feature the return of a recently eliminated hamster. 

So it sounds like tonight's "Big Brother" will actually be a zero-sum game?

Let's find out, after the break...

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Zingbot and the other Zingbot, Kathy Griffin

Recap: 'Big Brother' Wednesday - 5 Ways This Episode Ruled

Sometimes 'Big Brother' is boring. Other times it is thrilling, hilarious, and brilliantly stupid. This was one of those times.

I thought about it. Then I thought about it again. Turns out I'm not exaggerating or brainwashed (like Zingbot, our precious gyrating robot pal who visited the houseguests this week) regarding this week's episode. It really was fantastic, from the stupid Team America challenge to the POV game to the climactic final moment. Best episode of the season? Could be. Here are five reasons why. 

1. Donny is innocent but loves being scary as hell. 

For whatever reason, Donny has ended up outside the game's major alliance and there doesn't seem to be much of a way in. Our poor bearded chickadee. Sigh. But you have to give Donny "props" (quoth Zingbot) for using one of the few tools left in his arsenal: manipulation of the most impressionable person in the house, Zach. The little speech Donny gave Zach that planted necessary paranoia in his head about getting backdoored? Flawless. And also terrifying. Because Donny is terrifying. Here is the whole speech paraphrased:

"I do hope you win the veto, Zach. I had a special meeting with my alliance -- just me and a couple of napkins and a penny -- and we all agreed that you better win that veto. I don't really know nothing. Nothing at all, really. Truth is I just tied an old mitten to a weather vane, spun it around, and saw that it was pointing at -- well -- your demise, Zach. If you don't win, all I know is I got my mouth organ and a ditch down by the crossroads, and I'm prepared to give you a proper burial. Right proper with the sun shining and the vultures hovering and my cousin Myrna screamin' at God. You better win that veto, Zach. Or else the devil will exact his ultimate Zach Attack right up in this prairie barn."

And then Zach ended up on the block with Cody. Thanks for the tip, angelic/Satanic Donny!

2. Kathy Griffin is both a superstar and a superfan. 

Rare is it that outsiders get a chance to visit the "Big Brother" house during an active season and bask in the fluorescent glow of the gigantic Les Moonves ceiling portrait that only the houseguests can see. But Kathy Griffin is no ordinary outsider. The peerless comic visited the houseguests with our old pal Zingbot to prove that she is, in fact, the true Zing Queen (or in Russian: Czingrina). Griffin actually visited "The Talk" last year to discuss her feelings on BB15. "I don't care who wins," she said. "But I want to see a show about that jury house!" A sophisticated opinion from a true viewer, y'all. Sometimes I wonder if Amanda sat in that jury house vacillating between fingerpainting and punching herself in the face. She was not OK.

And it was awesome seeing Frankie react to Kathy's entrance. He clearly loved her. He also clearly thinks he's funny like her, which is a shame. I think Frankie would be bearable if he didn't insist on attempting humor ever. Every one of his confessionals amounts to, "WELL, NOW I'M USING A SILLY VOICE! ISN'T THAT SOMETHING? HMMMM?!" Unfortunately I stopped finding that technique funny at around the time my mom removed the "Sesame Street" mobile from my crib.

3. Zach's childish reaction to Kathy's zing could not have been gone better.

How cool was it that we got a round of zings from Kathy and the rehabilitated Zingbot? Double your rancor, double your fun. There were a couple of fantastic jokes in the mix, but the best of all was when Kathy asked Frankie, "Hey, what do you call someone who's not afraid to cry, wears pink, and cuddles with men? Zach!"

This is such an important part of the episode. First of all, Zach had no time to prepare himself for the zing, and God knows Zach can't handle a joke without 48 hours notice. While the other houseguests laughed it up, he scowled like the sensitive kid at the first grade lunch table who left his sandwich at home. Naturally Kathy decided to nuke his ass by walking over, leaning in, and hissing, "Zing, motherf*cker!" He laughed for a second, but it was a rough second. I don't have a problem with egomaniacs like Zach, but it is always, always, always funny to mock someone who refuses to laugh at himself. Thanks, Kathy, for approaching him like the bad colonel in "Cool Hand Luke" and needling him like the parking meter-clipping delinquent he is.

4. I don't think Victoria realized her robe was stolen.

Secretly the greatest part of this episode was not when Cody roamed the house shirtless searching for his disgusting hat or when Christine realized her marriage was in shambles because of Zingbot's wisdom; nope, it was when Caleb discovered the stolen Team America items in the recycling bin, began handing them back out to the houseguests, and Victoria realized for the first time that her damn robe was missing. At the top of the episode, Derrick -- who stole it -- said, "She wears this every day. She'll definitely notice it." But Derrick: Victoria hasn't even noticed that she's on "Big Brother." She thinks she's at a Barbizon modeling school graduation, and she's here to show us that she perfected her stare-and-pivot. Man, she is so effortlessly useless. How does she do it? She's giving the ultimate second-place performance, and you have to love her for it. Did I say love her? I meant try to remember her name.

5. Like it or not, Frankie's kiss-off to Zach was great.

For whatever reason, Frankie used the Power of Veto (after a tough puzzle challenge involving electrical tubing and Zingbot's malfunctioning personality) to save Caleb and screw over Zach, his biggest ally in the game. I'm not sure who that move impresses, but I'll tell you one thing: Frankie's rhyming rationale for why he picked Zach was righteous as hell. It wasn't quite a rap, but his flow was sick in a gay poetry slam way. His damning ode ended "So Zach, my friend, go and have a seat / It's time for you and Julie Chen to finally meet." Yow! Electric! Is it possible for Zach to worm his way out of this? If the power of rhyme is any indication, the answer is: Zach Attack ain't comin' back. 

Recap: 'Big Brother' Sunday - Nominations and Skittle-Power
Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Big Brother' Sunday - Nominations and Skittle-Power

Strategy has gotten too complicated for the hamsters to handle on their own

When it comes to surveillance video, it's hard to get more disorienting than transitioning from a LiveStream in Ferguson, Missouri to CBS' voyeuristic "Big Brother" and it saddens me that that's what I find myself doing tonight.

Between this unfortunate media juxtaposition and some exhausting travel, I can't say that I'm all that involved with what's going down on Sunday's (August 17) "Big Brother," but the job is the job...

So let's watch what happens!

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<p>Deborah Ann Woll of HBO&#39;s &quot;True Blood&quot;</p>

Deborah Ann Woll of HBO's "True Blood"

Credit: HBO

Recap: 'True Blood' - 'Love is to Die'

Jason finds a new use for frozen veggies, Eric allows Ginger to use him, and Bill settles for being more useless than ever

With one more episode to go, it doesn’t seem too premature to go ahead and award Ryan Kwanten, A.K.A. Jason Stackhouse, the coveted Hit Fix Award for Most Valuable Player of the final season of “True Blood.” As already predicted in this space, Jessica and Hoyt have finally, fully reunited, falling in bed together after Jessica has broken down and confessed to Hoyt that they used to be a couple before she cuckolded him with the irrepressible, sexually irresistible Jason, after which Hoyt asked her to erase all his happy memories of their time together before lighting out for Alaska. Hoyt is all forgiveness towards Jessica, but he does injure his fist by applying it directly to Jason’s hard ol’ head. Hoyt’s ex, Brigette, loads the unconscious Jason into her car and is driving him to the hospital when he comes to. She tells him that he needs medical attention, because he probably has a concussion. Jason has to laugh; the dear girl doesn’t know that he averages a concussion a week. Sometimes he bleeds from the ears from the strain of trying to do long division. 

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