So, Brendon and Enzo are on the block, which pretty much means Brendon is going home unless he wins the POV, which could happen, given that Brendon is enflamed with his knightly vengeance and potentially other residue from his absent damsel in distress, Rachel. Not that Matt cares. Heâ€™s plain old thrilled to see Brendon and Enzo on the block. No matter who goes home, he figures heâ€™s sitting pretty and, as he reminds us, itâ€™s all part of his master plan. Yes, Matt is the puppet master, the evil genius, the brains. Did he get beaten up as a kid? I can only hope so, although I dare say not enough.
When we last left Bon Temps, the biggest li’l supernatural spot in the South, Eric had gotten a wink and a nod from the Vampire Authority to go assassinate Russell; Russell had seized control of the vertical and the horizontal; and everyone but Sookie had figured out what Sookie was.
[And what *is* Sookie? Full "True Blood" recap after the break...]
I guess I should be excited about tonight’s episode, as the last woman standing in the house is also the HOH, so it’s sort of a rah-rah, girl power moment. But how exactly is the last woman in the house Britney? She who hates everyone and can’t take criticism? And tends to cry for no reason? And break promises? Of course, this is “Big Brother,” so being a bit of a lying scumbag is just playing the game, but still, it’s kind of like Heidi Montag walking on the moon. One small step for womankind, sure, but still pretty embarrassing.
[Full recap of Sunday's (Aug. 22) "Big Brother" after the break...]
So, after last night’s crazypants episode, we’re in for one that’s just going to be, well, depressingly predictable. The diamond power of veto is getting played tonight, and I’m pretty sure we can all guess exactly what’s going to happen, especially as far as who’s going home (Gimme a K…). You know, it seems patently unfair to me that Matt gets a game changing prize out of Pandora’s Box and all Brendon pulls is essentially a massage and a nice dinner. However, Julie says we should never underestimate the power of the pretzel. Okay, Julie, surprise me, because otherwise I’m tempted to take a nap.
Goodness knows, this would be bad reality TV if “PR” didn’t try to milk as much drama out of Ivy’s fainting spell as humanly possibly, so what we ended with last week is what we start with this week – Ivy and the paramedics. So, what the heck is wrong with Ivy? Valerie points out she drinks too much Diet Coke and smokes a lot. Gretchen hopes she’ll be okay. Because Ivy is no threat to her. Ultimately, it seems like no big deal, because Ivy is suffering from that persistent ailment of celebrities and reality TV contestants, dehydration. In other words, lots of sturm und drang about nothing.
So my colleague Dan tells me that tonight’s episode is supposed to be all kinds of crazy… and lo and behold, the promo to the show reveals that RACHEL is back. What? How exactly is BB rationalizing that move? Part of me thinks, yay, lots of screaming! And the other part of me thinks, ugh, lots of screaming, because Rachel may be dramatic and mentally unstable in the way that makes good television, but she’s also ear piercingly shrill in the way that makes permanent deafness and migraine headaches. But oh well, she’s back, so let the games begin!
OK, so Sookie and Vampire Bill are back together. I would predict an afternoon wedding in June, with pecan pie for all, but, you know, that pesky sun might fry a few folk -- say, the entire groom’s side.
Yes, screeching drama queen Rachel is gone, but a bigger drama queen remains – her annoyingly metrosexual boyfriend. Medieval Times knight wannabe/possible “Oprah” addict Brendon has vowed revenge on the house. And apparently, some of the housemates don’t realize what a big wuss he is, because they’re skittering around the house like terrified silverfish. Don’t worry hamsters, now that Rachel’s gone, Brendon is as likely to curl up in a fetal position and cry as he is to kick someone’s butt.
Thursday's (Aug. 12) "Big Brother" elimination episode offers a win-lose situation. On one hand, either Rachel or Brendon is going home, which means that the show's most annoying showmance will be torn asunder and relative sanity can once again rule in the house. On the other hand, Brendon and Rachel are good for drama, even if that drama sometimes takes the form of Rachel irrationally ranting and Kathy on Wednesday's show for having the temerity to be happy about a successful performance in a challenge. Losing that lovey-dovey romance? Good thing. Losing that drama? Probably not ideal...
Who actually went home? Click through for a minute-by-minute recap of the festivities from the hamster house...