<p>Chelsey and Ann of 'America's Next Top Model'</p>

Chelsey and Ann of 'America's Next Top Model'

Credit: The CW

Recap: 'America's Next Top Model' - 'Patrick Demarchelier'

The models learn to be brands and then take to Rodeo Drive for a shoot

Welcome back to the latest in the adventures of the Ann the Ent, in which she shambles through the forests of Lothlorien, befriending hobbits and ... wait, what? This is not a show about slow-talking sentient redwoods who can speak and so forth?

Whatever. I have no idea what I’m watching right now. I’ll just recap whatever I see.
 
[Recap of Wednesday's (Oct. 13) "America's Next Top Model" after the break...]
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<p>NaOnka of 'Survivor: Nicaragua'</p>

NaOnka of 'Survivor: Nicaragua'

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Survivor: Nicaragua' - 'Turf Wars'

A shakeup ends the 'Old vs. Young' game and changes the 'Survivor' dynamic
So has anybody else been following coverage of the Chilean miners? 
 
Does immersion in that particular saga leave anybody else just a wee bit tepid heading into Wednesday (Oct. 13) night's "Survivor: Nicaragua"? On one hand, you have a group of low-wage employees stuck 2000 feet underground since the beginning of August. Then you have the reality show with a group of Americans competing for a million dollar prize and complaining about the hardships they've faced spending the past two weeks on a beach.
 
Full recap after the break...
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<p>Kurt Warner performed on Monday's 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Kurt Warner performed on Monday's 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Results - Down to 8

Another celebrity goes home – but was the worst dancer given the boot?
So, it’s nice to see Brooke all dressed up and not looking cranky in a videotaped deposition which has been endlessly run and re-run on the local ABC news. You would think that an ABC affiliate might not be so quick to make one of the network’s minor stars look like an irritable furniture thief, which is what the legal action against her and her boyfriend claims, but go figure. In any case, Brooke has more important things to worry about, namely an elimination episode of “DWTS.” As they say, the tediously drawn-out show must go on, so let’s just make like Brooke and get down to it, shall we?
 
[Full recap of Tuesday's (Oct. 12) "Dancing with the Stars" episode after the break...]
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<p>Amber Riley, Matthew Morrison and Naya Rivera of 'Glee'</p>

Amber Riley, Matthew Morrison and Naya Rivera of 'Glee'

Credit: Michael Yarish/FOX

Recap: 'Glee' - 'Duets'

Will's new assignment for the group yields some unusual pairings, and some surprising results.

A broken clock is right twice a day. And every once in a while, “Glee” works on every conceivable level. There’s no guarantee that what happened tonight will happen again anytime soon, but there’s no denying that “Duets” took what could have been another awful “Theme Week”-type episode and used it for the strange purpose of actually advancing character and story. I call that purpose “strange” not because that it’s wrong, but “strange” because the show so infrequently chooses to do so.

[Full recap of Tuesday's (Oct. 12) "Glee" after the break...]

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<p>Sarah Roemer of 'The Event'</p>

Sarah Roemer of 'The Event'

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'The Event' - 'A Matter of Life and Death'

Leila fights back, Sean forgets to charge his cell phone and other thrills

I have made no secret of my general distaste for “The Event,” but I nonetheless go into each week hoping for the best, and ready to extend the show some benefit of the doubt. Part of this is because I’d rather not watch terrible television, and part of it is because I genuinely cheer for almost all art to be good; even if it’s not a show for me, I’ve wanted “The Event” to live up to its potential and offer something decent to its fans. But at this point, sadly, my patience and good will are wearing awfully thin. Within the first couple minutes of tonight’s episode, “A Matter of Life and Death,” I was ready to throw my hands in the air and declare this series a lost cause.

[Full recap after the break...]

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<p>Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' - The Top 9 performs in-the-round

The first tens are handed out to one lucky dancer – and another bombs big time

It’s the first acoustic week ever on “DWTS!” Wow! But wait, that’s just one of several HUGE changes for the show, none of which is a big whoop, but will be presented as such! I’m assuming this is happening because ABC has decided that D-list celebrities dancing awkwardly just isn’t enough to hold your interest, fickle viewers, so this is really all your fault. Anyway, the dance floor is now round and elevated, and the judges will be providing two sets of scores – one for technique, one for performance. Wow! Color me shocked! Knock me over with a feather boa! A new dance floor, I swoon! I’m not really sure why there are two sets of scores or whether this will have any impact on who stays or goes, except that it forces me to do more math in my head than I would like, but whatever.

We are informed through a truly ridiculous montage sequence that dancing to acoustic music is REALLY HARD and will put the celebrities under A GREAT DEAL OF PRESSURE which may end in tears or broken bones. Okay, maybe not the last part, but still, big deal. Don’t get me wrong, I love “DWTS.” But then, I like watching dancing. And I like watching some celebrities dance badly even more, because it makes me feel better about the fact that I have squashed many a toe in my lifetime. I don’t really need ABC to create false drama, or force their pro dancers to do canned segments about how acoustic music is SO DAMN HARD TO DANCE TO while they try to look earnest, even though you know they’re thinking, “Damn, this is stupid, but I’m making about a million times more doing TV than dancing at some pro ballroom competition or teaching frisky seniors how to rumba on a cruise ship, so yeah, I’m sucking it up and then some.” Really, ABC. Calm down. I’m sure you had most of us at “rumba,” and the rest of us at “D-list celebrity.” But speaking of rumba, let’s get to the dancing!

[Full recap of Monday's (Oct. 11) "Dancing with the Stars" after the break...]
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<p>Connor and Jonathan of 'The Amazing Race'</p>

Connor and Jonathan of 'The Amazing Race'

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'The Amazing Race' - 'In Phil We Trust'

Can you find Ghana on a map? Most of the teams couldn't
This past year, when "American Idol" did its "Idol Gives Back" special, the show actually bothered to send a contestant home, proving that charity and eliminations can, indeed, go hand-in-hand.
 
It was the third time FOX had done "Idol Gives Back," but the first time a singer had gotten the boot, following a not-so-surprising non-elimination episode and then a separate non-competitive "Idol Gives Back" special the following year.
 
It's just hard to harsh the buzz of good deeds with the harsh reality of competitiveness. 
 
Viewers got a refresher course in that particular lesson doing Sunday (Oct. 10) night's episode of "The Amazing Race."
 
Full recap after the break...
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<p>Kristen Wiig and Jane Lynch of 'Saturday Night Live'</p>

Kristen Wiig and Jane Lynch of 'Saturday Night Live'

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Jane Lynch and Bruno Mars

Could the 'Glee' Emmy winner prevent another 'SNL' dud?

It’s been a week since “Saturday Night Live” sent a bottle of sparkling apple juice to your house. (Did you get it?) Aside from the stunning Kanye West performances, last week’s episode didn’t exactly set the world on fire. Bryan Cranston might be a three-peat Emmy winner, but SNL is in danger of starting its season 0-3 in terms of providing an overall entertaining episode. Will Jane Lynch save the day? Will Bruno Mars prove a better musical choice than 30 Seconds to Mars? And what’s the over/under on “Glee” actors showing up for cameos tonight?

Only one way to find out. Let’s break things down, sketch by sketch.

[Recap after the break...]

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<p>Candice Accola of 'The Vampire Diaries'</p>

Candice Accola of 'The Vampire Diaries'

Recap: 'The Vampire Diaries' - 'Kill Or Be Killed'

Secrets exposed, more secrets exposed and some brawling between wolves and vamps

Alliances shift and things heat up as Mystic Falls' resident werewolf proves a much more dangerous frenemy in tonight's juicy episode of "The Vampire Diaries." And thanks to the focus on Mason Lockwood and his wolfy secret identity -- the worst kept secret in Mystic Falls -- we're treated to intriguing developments that set up a much bigger showdown to come, all part of Katherine's still-ambiguous master plan.

Among the episode's better moments were scenes that reminded us why we love these characters. Caroline, fast becoming one of the series most watchable characters after spending a season as its most irritating, shows her true colors both as a friend and as a super-powered vampire when she stands up to her crusading mother. (Candice Accola also seals her place as the most bad-ass vamp on the show when she's in full veiny-eyed vampire mode, like a bloodthirsty blond angel of death.) Elena and Stefan, seemingly secure in their commitment to each other, engage in a fascinatingly layered pretend arguments that feels too real to be a complete fabrication. But one genuine argument later, they're back in harmony again, united in a love that can get them through any trial, be it Stefan's little substance abuse problem or Katherine.

And then there were the plot turns, the big reveals, the bullets, blood, and male bonding. The subtle callbacks to previous events, the clues that unveil themselves, and the minor progressions of secondary threads that suggest it's all being guided to a larger event, advancing the overall story. Something big is coming our way. For now, revel in the foreplay.

 [Full recap of Thursday's (Oct. 7) "The Vampire Diaries," titled "Kill or Be Killed," after the break…]

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<p>Michael Costello of 'Project Runway'</p>

Michael Costello of 'Project Runway'

Credit: Lifetime

Recap: 'Project Runway' - 'That's Downright Dirty'

The designers fight to do Heidi’s dirty work – and one is accused of cheating

I know, it’s time to talk fashion and the improper usage of epaulets and fringe, but first, did everyone see Tim Gunn’s video for The Trevor Project? (If you haven’t, it’s here). In it, Tim admits that he attempted suicide when he was 17, which just hurts my heart, because I cannot imagine a world without Tim Gunn in it. Or maybe I can, but it would, in a word, suck and we really don’t even want to think about it, honestly. It would be like a world without Lanvin or “Modern Family,” but even worse. Anyway, big props to Tim Gunn for reaching out and sharing in that wonderfully avuncular way he has.

[Full recap of Thursday's (Oct. 7) "Project Runway" after the break...] 

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