Recapping Television's Hottest Shows with Monkeys as Critics

'Big Brother': Is Aaryn or Amanda really in control of the house?

Will this week be the time for a Big Move?

"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

I am already sick of hearing the announcer saying 3 a.m. That's all. 

Anyway, most of this episode is dedicated to Amanda acting smug, Amanda whining to McCrae, and Amanda gloating over how well she's running the house. I'm not sure why everyone is so happy to let one half of a showmance dictate every move on the show, given that the other players might have a shot at making a final two deal with anyone else, but I guess Amanda's bullying persona has somehow clicked with the rest of the players. I'm wondering if she's worn down the hamsters with her throaty smoker's voice yelling or if they're so tired of her they just want to give up. I will say McCrae has the glassy-eyed stare of a man who's seen too much.

'Big Brother' recap: It's Operation Bring the House Down!

Jessie decides to mix things up and fighting ensues

"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

It's time for an elimination, and unfortunately the whole CBS/Time Warner nonsense has forced Dan to recruit me for Thursday. Before we begin, send good thoughts his way. A day without CBS and its affiliate stations is, in many ways, like a day without sunshine. Or at least an evening without "Big Brother." Or something. 

'Big Brother' recap: Will McCranda take control of the house?

Andy is the HoH, but will he do what he's told?

"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

It's hard for me to believe, but Amanda has somehow morphed from a fun, occasionally charming presence in the house to an entirely annoying, bullying monster -- and it looks like she's calling all the shots. As one half of McCranda (a two-headed creature that occasionally bickers with itself), she has no problem pouting, coercing and letting personal vendettas rule her decision-making. I'd call this bad game play if it wasn't proving itself so effective. 

'Big Brother' recap: What happens after the double elimination?

Everyone weeps, but was sending Judd home the right move?

"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

I never thought we'd reach this part of the competition and Gina Marie, Amanda AND Aaryn would still be in the race. But, go figure. Candice and Judd were sent packing on Thursday, and we're now left with a smattering of smart power players, bullies, floaters, idiots and racists (some contestants, of course, fall into multiple categories). Yay!

Recap: 'Big Brother' Thursday Results - Double Elimination

Would a Week of 'Big Brother' in an hour shake things up?

<p>GinaMarie. In a Shame Cone.</p>

GinaMarie. In a Shame Cone.

Credit: CBS

I have no clue what has happened on "Big Brother" in the past week, thanks to Time Warner Cable and CBS. 

From reading Liane's recaps, I know that Amanda, Spencer and Candice are on the block and from various bits of online scuttlebutt, I know that Amanda has basically gone crazy, while Spencer has continued his long run of variably horrifying comments that CBS is choosing not to air.

Whee!

And from last week, I remember that it's a double-elimination Thursday (August 8), with the regular vote, as well as the always-unsettling Week of "Big Brother" in an Hour wackiness.

Follow along! And forgive me if I lack the con text for certain things. Blame CBS and Time Warner.

'Big Brother' recap: Is Amanda her own worst enemy?

Amanda is gunning for Candice and Jessie, but is she making a mistake?

"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

To all of you who are Time Warner Cable customers, I want to send you my sympathies (no Showtime? No CBS? What the hell?) and promise I will do my best to unravel the mess that is this night's episode of hamster meltdown. May the CBS app be with you!

We kick things off with Gina Marie reveling in her HoH status, which means she hasn't tried writing her HoH blog just yet. Apparently, this enterprise caused her to weep bitterly, knowing that the general public would discover she's mostly illiterate. If it makes her feel any better, I think we all had an inkling. Anyway, she lures the hamsters she's just insulted into her room as flip-flopping pond scum in order to make nice. She tries to assure Jessie she's not the target, because being the pawn is SO much safer. Gina Marie promises her that her door is always open, as if she's 7-11 or possibly a paid escort. The good news is that, when Gina Marie gets voted out and discovers she's unemployed, she definitely could have a future in customer service. 

Recap: 'Big Brother' Thursday Results - Whose eviction ends Aaryn's reign?

Would Candice, Howard or Amanda go home?

<p>This is just a random picture of Aaryn, because I don't want to spoil elimination.</p>

This is just a random picture of Aaryn, because I don't want to spoil elimination.

Credit: CBS

Another Head of Household tenure will end for Aaryn on Thursday (August 1) night. 

Will the end of her reign see the departure of Amanda, Candice or Howard? Well, yes. Obviously. But which one? 

Let's find out, after the break...

'Big Brother' recap: Will Aaryn make a big move or play it safe?

America picks a very unexpected third nominee

"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

So, Aaryn's reign of terror as HoH has been surprisingly mild, given that Helen is pulling her strings like an amateur puppeteer. The veto competition and the announcement of America's MVP, of course, could throw off all of Helen's not-so-careful planning, so it's still worthwhile to tune in on a Wednesday. It's not just a lame veto competition after all!

'Big Brother' recap: Will Aaryn keep her promise to Helen this week?

With a new HoH and a third nominee to be determined, no one is safe

"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

I never thought Aaryn would be HoH for a second time, largely because I thought she'd have been sent home by this point in the game, but wonders never cease on "Big Brother," do they? By some incredible stroke of luck (or a very precise throwing arm), Aaryn is the queen of the castle this week -- which means almost anything could happen. The only guarantee? Clowny the creepy clown is back! Mwahahahahaha!

Recap: 'Big Brother' Thursday Results - Which awful hamster went home?

Judd's reign will eliminate at least one malconent

<p>The three &quot;Big Brother&quot; nominees</p>

The three "Big Brother" nominees

Credit: CBS

It's elimination night on "Big Brother" and guess what? No matter who goes home on Thursday (July 25) night, they're gonna be a relatively icky person. It says something that Kaitlin is probably the best person among the three hamsters up for eviction on Thursday night, which mostly relates to her being placed against Aaryn and GinaMarie.

Does that mean she'll be sent home? Of course not! Let's see how things go down...

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