Recapping Television's Hottest Shows with Monkeys as Critics
A plan is hatched to take Katherine out for good, but will the witches cause hitches?
Operation: Kill Katherine Dead is in full effect in this Very Special Halloween episode of “The Vampire Diaries,” which is also throws in a little Mission: Impossible and touch of “Jerry Springer” for good measure. Who will die? Who will NOT die? And who’s the dude in the creepy clown mask?
Katherine’s arc appears to come to a close – at least for now – as Damon and Stefan’s task force sets an ambush at the annual Mystic Falls Masquerade Ball. Jumping into action from the get-go, show runners Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson take the scripting reins, deftly shifting momentum around so that everyone gets some action – even dour Bonnie, whose love life might finally be looking up after tonight.
The episode’s best trick, alas, turned out to be a one-off gimmick. (How are Elena and Katherine connected, if not by a single magical spell?) Tonight also demonstrated how much we’d miss the sensual, smart, badass Katherine if she weren’t around anymore to make wanton passes at Mystic Falls’ most eligible bachelors and slyly show us that she knows that we can tell her and Elena apart.
So bid farewell to Katherine (at least, for now) and get ready for more dowdy, whiny Elena as Katherine’s arc closes and another one begins. At least those annoying Mystic Falls High floozies are gone. Bring on the next underboss!
[Full recap of Thursday's (Oct. 28) "The Vampire Diaries," titled "Masquerade," after the break…]
The three finalists hit the runway, and a favorite tosses a dress that might have made the difference
It’s the big finale of “PR,” and you can look at the episode as either a battle between good (Mondo or Andy) vs. evil (Gwetchen) or as a battle between good taste and bad taste or maybe just as another reality TV show catfight, but in any case, it should be exciting. I’ll be sad to see season eight end, although I do have high hopes that during the part of the show in which all the designers come together to gab about their memories, Ivy will come unglued and beat the hell out of someone. I’m sentimental that way.
[Full recap of the "Project Runway" finale after the break...]
The models walk the runway, while a roller skating shoot brings out insecurities
Now that Liz has broken Ann’s winning streak and one of the most gorgeous faces in the competition has been eliminated (oh, Kendal, we hardly knew ye), and the world has officially gone mad -- mad, I say! -- what more could possibly happen to shock us?
[Full recap of Wednesday's (Oct. 27) "America's Next Top Model" after the break...]
Will a bold Immunity Idol move shake up the game? Or backfire hilariously?
Still scratching your head about why Team Brenda decided not to take the chance to vote Marty out when they had the chance last week? Still wondering how Dan remains able to stand?
Click through to see how things played out on Wednesday (Oct. 27) night's "Survivor: Nicaragua"...
Rock Week ends with a judgesâ€™ favorite getting the boot
It’s time for another couple to go home, and considering how weird the judging was last night, I have no idea what to expect tonight. I can only hope neither Jennifer or Brandy get the boot, but at this point I’m beginning to think Bristol may just win the whole thing, even though she tends to stagger around the floor like a semi-tranquilized farm animal, at least in comparison to some of the stronger dancers. But hey, it’s about popularity, not talent, right?
[Full recap of Tuesday's (Oct. 26) "Dancing with the Stars" after the break...]
Desperate to win Emma back, Will decides to stage her favorite musical.
Oh, for the love of God, “Glee.”
See, I knew this would happen. After the last outing, one I particularly enjoyed, I caught sight of the preview for “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” and felt a pit in my stomach. It was a different pit than the one I felt upon learning about “Britney/Brittany,” but it was there all the same. And lo and behold, this episode fulfilled all my worst fears about what such an episode would entail. But just to add salt to the wound, the show actually bothered to point out the far more interesting way in which they COULD have done this episode, only chose not to do so. I’d like to do the Time Warp back before I actually watched this debacle.
[Full recap of Tuesday's (Oct. 26) "Glee" after the break...]
Simon remembers the good ol' days and has to choose sides
While the glamorous world of “Event” recapping pays more than it probably should, I’m nonetheless required to hold down a day job to make ends meet. Lately, sadly, “day job” means alternating graveyard shifts with more regular hours, which does a number on the body’s internal clock, to say the least. But maybe the resulting sleep deprivation combined with mass amounts of caffeine produces the ideal conditions for watching this show: Olympic-record sized leaps in logic and plot holes big enough to hide the missing 747 in? Why not! Random, asynchronous editing and the arrival of new characters who are totally out of left field but whom I’m immediately supposed to care for? Sure!
It all makes sense to me now. As long as your brain is as addled as the show itself, “The Event” is gangbusters. It must kill in the insomniac and speed-freak demo.
[More on this phenomenon, and Monday's (Oct. 25) "Event" after the break...]
A favorite dancer gets off balance, while a low scorer emerges triumphant
So, it’s Rock Week at “DWTS,” and though part of me thinks this could be a fun theme, depending on what the show considers rock, I’m getting a little worried about all the cutesy bells and whistles the show has been trying out. All of these concepts seem to be taking us further and further away from the core of what makes the show successful – ballroom dancing and a heady mix of talented and spastic D-list celebrities. But perhaps I just need to see if maybe Bristol Palin can dance an Argentine tango to, say, Slipknot or an old Nirvana ditty first.
Before we can get to the dancing, we have to watch the voters’ Top Ten performance of the entire series. What’s striking about this is you get a feel for which seasons had phenomenal talent (Apolo Ohno’s) and which were kinda meh (sorry, Donny Osmond).
Full recap of Monday's (Oct. 25) "Dancing with the Stars" performances after the break...
A Fast-Forward helps one team get a-head in the race. Get it? A head?
I'm an "Amazing Race" hypocrite.
It's not like I don't know this.
On one hand, I complain about the proliferation of travel-based equalizers that prevent dominant teams from extending leads and that allow lame teams to work their way back to the pack.
On the other hand, if you *don't* allow for the occasional "All teams left on the same flight" or "The museum doesn't open until 10 a.m." equalizer, you end up with a leg like Sunday (Oct. 24) night's "Amazing Race."
In the episode, the team that started in first, ended in first, followed by a very slight realignment of the teams that began the leg in the lead pack.
In the episode, the team that started in last, ended in last, followed by a very slight realignment of the teams that began in the trailing pack.
And the result was a ridiculously suspense-free episode of "The Amazing Race."
The leg was so devoid of tension, even fabricated in the editing room, that I almost don't have anything to say about it. But I'll try. After the break.
For at least one Digital Short, the 'Easy A' star made 'SNL' amusing again
The puns almost write themselves with Emma Stone hosting “Saturday Night Live.” Will her inaugural duties be “Superbad”? Lord knows there’s no such thing as an “Easy A” when it comes to grading this show. Often times, by the end of a bad edition, most of the viewing audience feels like they are living in “Zombieland.”
Hopefully, the writers of "SNL" have something better up their sleeves than what on display in the previous paragraph. Something else to look forward to: with the song “Use Somebody” FINALLY out of my head after repeated, self-inflicted punches to the face, the show has musical guests Kings of Leon on tap to probably put it right back in my head. Sigh.
Let’s see how the future Gwen Stacy fares on live TV, after the break!