<p>James Durbin of 'American Idol'</p>

James Durbin of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - San Francisco Auditions

After last week's talent-free auditions, could Steven, J-Lo and Randy find a star?

Last week wasn't a very good "American Idol" week, was it? Two episodes, two hours, not a single contestant I remember seven days later. You know who didn't seem to care? America! There's a lesson here and when I figure it out, I'll let y'all know.

Meanwhile, on to Wednesday's (Feb. 9) audition episode from San Francisco, an old reliable "Idol" haunt. Will we see the next Adam Lambert or William Hung?

Click through...

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<p>Chris Colfer of 'Glee'</p>

Chris Colfer of 'Glee'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'Glee' - 'Silly Love Songs'

Valentine's Day brings up mixed emotions, and new complications

Heads (and plenty of eyes) may have rolled in the post-Super Bowl episode of “Glee” that aired a scant forty-eight hours ago. But if the show had really wanted to put its best foot forward, it would done itself far more justice had it aired tonight’s edition, “Silly Love Songs,” instead. Had the football team simply been doing well, Finn’s stock could have risen equally as high, putting the basic premise at work tonight in perfect position to wow the largest set of eyeballs that show will probably ever see. Oh well. No one ever accused “Glee” of doing things the easy way.

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<p>A scene from Sunday's 'Glee'</p>

A scene from Sunday's 'Glee'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'Glee' - 'The Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle'

Tensions arise when the football team is forced to join New Directions before the championship game

It’s been roughly two months since the last episode of “Glee,” during which time I forgot how to actually watch the show. Sure, I’ve watched plenty of television in the interim. Probably too much, according to my family. But “Glee” breaks the rules of how television is supposed to work, and so coming back into it is now is liking coming from a 3 Doors Down concert and then sitting front row at a jazz fusion festival. Not that “Glee” would ever do jazz fusion: I’m not sure its supposed demographic of seven-year olds would appreciate covers of “Bitches Brew.”

[Full recap of Sunday's (Feb. 6) "Glee" after the break...]

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<p>'Saturday Night Live' host Dana Carvey</p>

'Saturday Night Live' host Dana Carvey

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Dana Carvey (and Justin Bieber) with Linkin Park

Justin Bieber, Wayne's World, Church Lady and more in a guest-filled episode

For those that continually say that “Saturday Night Live” isn’t as good now as it used to be, well, tonight should prove to be an interesting test case for that theory: “SNL” alum Dana Carvey is back to host tonight. He’s not promoting anything, unless there’s a Criterion Collection “Master of Disguise” DVD being released and I’m not aware of it. Normally I’m against the show simply trotting out the same old characters week after week, but expect a parade of Carvey’s classic characters tonight, plus a potential parade of other alums as well. Should be interesting to say the least, which is more than I can say about tonight’s musical guest, Linkin Park. (They seem more anachronistic that Carvey at this point, to be honest.)

As always, I’ll be grading each sketch as it happens. Onto the show!

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<p>Anna Torv of 'Fringe'</p>

Anna Torv of 'Fringe'

Credit: Liane Hentscher/FOX

Recap: 'Fringe' - 'Concentrate and Ask Again'

The murder of a scientist leads Walter and Olivia to a figure from their past.

Back before I started writing about television, I wrote about music. I didn’t do this in a professional capacity, but did it all the same. Chalk it up to a combination of artistic expression and complete lack of girlfriend. I won’t say that  thiswriting was particularly good, but it was about something that mattered to me, and allowed me to get a lot of things off my chest that may have stayed dormant otherwise. Figuring out why “Blood on the Tracks” seemed to be an autobiography I happened not to personally write just seemed like a good way to spend a Wednesday night back then.

High in my CD rotation at the time, and still in high rotation in my iTunes collection, were the albums of Radiohead. I bring this up not because I’m not-so-subtly auditioning for a music column here on HitFix, but because Radiohead was on my mind a lot during tonight’s episode. I couldn’t help but think of the parallels between one of my favorite bands and one of my favorite shows. Both started off fairly prosaically: I think “Creep” fairs far better in hindsight than The Pattern, but neither exactly set the world on fire. By their third album “OK Computer”, Radiohead was operating at peak creative efficiency, as was “Fringe” at the outside of the third season. As of tonight, I wonder if “Fringe” is in its “In Rainbows” phase.

Let me explain.

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<p>Ian Somerhalder, Michael Trevino and Paul Wesley of 'The Vampire Diaries'</p>

Ian Somerhalder, Michael Trevino and Paul Wesley of 'The Vampire Diaries'

Credit: The CW

Recap: 'The Vampire Diaries' - 'Daddy Issues'

Wolves and vampires and scares, oh my

Oh boy, it’s werewolf/vampire smackdown time!

But before we can have a smackdown, Caroline needs to let Tyler down easy. She can’t go there with him. She can’t, she can’t! But not because one hickey from him will make her batcrap crazy and subsequently dead. She can’t date Tyler because she still likes Matt. That is a slightly more palatable reason, really. She thinks everything’s duckywith Tyler until he throws her against a car for forgetting to inform him his Uncle Mason is taking a dirt nap. Well, that’s one way to change the topic.
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<p>This 59-year-old man got more screen time than any actual contestant on Thursday night's 'American Idol'</p>

This 59-year-old man got more screen time than any actual contestant on Thursday night's 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' 10 - Los Angeles Auditions

Surely the judges can find people to send to Hollywood in LA?

OK, "American Idol"... Time to make a deal. If you give me *one* contestant I want to see in the Hollywood Round or possibly in the Top 20, I'll consider Thursday (Feb. 3) night's audition episode a success. Are you happy, "Idol"? Have you lowered my expectations sufficiently?

Make it happen... Los Angeles auditions after the break...

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<p>D'Angelo and Amanda of 'Live to Dance'&nbsp;</p>

D'Angelo and Amanda of 'Live to Dance' 

Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS

Recap: 'Live to Dance' - The Finalists Dance

The final six acts bring it – but one stands out

Is it me, or is this show made up of so much filler there’s really only about fifteen minutes of actual show? Anyway, we’re down to the top six, so I’m guessing there will be even less show and more timewasting shambling than we’ve seen previously. Hopefully some of that will involve Paula Abdul acting all hella crazy. She’s been far too pulled together on this show, really.

[Full recap of Wednesday's (Feb. 2) "Live to Dance" after the break...]
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<p>Lorraine Bracco and the diners on Wednesday's Top Chef: All-Stars.&nbsp;</p>

Lorraine Bracco and the diners on Wednesday's Top Chef: All-Stars. 

Credit: Bravo

Recap: 'Top Chef All-Stars' - 'An Offer They Can't Refuse'

An Italian challenge brings some unexpected winners – and losers – to the table

Nine chefs left!Whoo!

Isaac Mizrahi is in the house for some reason. Because he designs clothes have good taste? Oh, no, because Padma is showing her jewelry line at Fashion Week, so we needed a tie-in. Nice plug, Padma! Subtle! And she’s wearing one of her own necklaces! Which looks like something I beaded at summer camp! Isaac’s new collection was inspired by his Xerox machine. Whaaaa? For the Quickfire Challenge, the judges will be going off of aesthetic beauty and will not be tasting the dishes. Mmm, sounds… pretty not tasty?
[Full recap of Wednesday's (Feb. 2) "Top Chef: All-Stars" after the break...]

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<p>This armadillo auditioned for 'American Idol'</p>

This armadillo auditioned for 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - Austin Auditions

Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson head to Texas

The brief nightmare of two-hour audition episodes is past. "American Idol" is down to a well-contained and restrained hour as the show looks for the best talent Deep in the Heart of Texas...

Full recap of the "American Idol" Austin auditions after the break...

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