<p>A scene from Sunday's 'Glee'</p>

A scene from Sunday's 'Glee'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'Glee' - 'The Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle'

Tensions arise when the football team is forced to join New Directions before the championship game

It’s been roughly two months since the last episode of “Glee,” during which time I forgot how to actually watch the show. Sure, I’ve watched plenty of television in the interim. Probably too much, according to my family. But “Glee” breaks the rules of how television is supposed to work, and so coming back into it is now is liking coming from a 3 Doors Down concert and then sitting front row at a jazz fusion festival. Not that “Glee” would ever do jazz fusion: I’m not sure its supposed demographic of seven-year olds would appreciate covers of “Bitches Brew.”

[Full recap of Sunday's (Feb. 6) "Glee" after the break...]

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<p>'Saturday Night Live' host Dana Carvey</p>

'Saturday Night Live' host Dana Carvey

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Dana Carvey (and Justin Bieber) with Linkin Park

Justin Bieber, Wayne's World, Church Lady and more in a guest-filled episode

For those that continually say that “Saturday Night Live” isn’t as good now as it used to be, well, tonight should prove to be an interesting test case for that theory: “SNL” alum Dana Carvey is back to host tonight. He’s not promoting anything, unless there’s a Criterion Collection “Master of Disguise” DVD being released and I’m not aware of it. Normally I’m against the show simply trotting out the same old characters week after week, but expect a parade of Carvey’s classic characters tonight, plus a potential parade of other alums as well. Should be interesting to say the least, which is more than I can say about tonight’s musical guest, Linkin Park. (They seem more anachronistic that Carvey at this point, to be honest.)

As always, I’ll be grading each sketch as it happens. Onto the show!

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<p>Anna Torv of 'Fringe'</p>

Anna Torv of 'Fringe'

Credit: Liane Hentscher/FOX

Recap: 'Fringe' - 'Concentrate and Ask Again'

The murder of a scientist leads Walter and Olivia to a figure from their past.

Back before I started writing about television, I wrote about music. I didn’t do this in a professional capacity, but did it all the same. Chalk it up to a combination of artistic expression and complete lack of girlfriend. I won’t say that  thiswriting was particularly good, but it was about something that mattered to me, and allowed me to get a lot of things off my chest that may have stayed dormant otherwise. Figuring out why “Blood on the Tracks” seemed to be an autobiography I happened not to personally write just seemed like a good way to spend a Wednesday night back then.

High in my CD rotation at the time, and still in high rotation in my iTunes collection, were the albums of Radiohead. I bring this up not because I’m not-so-subtly auditioning for a music column here on HitFix, but because Radiohead was on my mind a lot during tonight’s episode. I couldn’t help but think of the parallels between one of my favorite bands and one of my favorite shows. Both started off fairly prosaically: I think “Creep” fairs far better in hindsight than The Pattern, but neither exactly set the world on fire. By their third album “OK Computer”, Radiohead was operating at peak creative efficiency, as was “Fringe” at the outside of the third season. As of tonight, I wonder if “Fringe” is in its “In Rainbows” phase.

Let me explain.

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<p>Ian Somerhalder, Michael Trevino and Paul Wesley of 'The Vampire Diaries'</p>

Ian Somerhalder, Michael Trevino and Paul Wesley of 'The Vampire Diaries'

Credit: The CW

Recap: 'The Vampire Diaries' - 'Daddy Issues'

Wolves and vampires and scares, oh my

Oh boy, it’s werewolf/vampire smackdown time!

But before we can have a smackdown, Caroline needs to let Tyler down easy. She can’t go there with him. She can’t, she can’t! But not because one hickey from him will make her batcrap crazy and subsequently dead. She can’t date Tyler because she still likes Matt. That is a slightly more palatable reason, really. She thinks everything’s duckywith Tyler until he throws her against a car for forgetting to inform him his Uncle Mason is taking a dirt nap. Well, that’s one way to change the topic.
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<p>This 59-year-old man got more screen time than any actual contestant on Thursday night's 'American Idol'</p>

This 59-year-old man got more screen time than any actual contestant on Thursday night's 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' 10 - Los Angeles Auditions

Surely the judges can find people to send to Hollywood in LA?

OK, "American Idol"... Time to make a deal. If you give me *one* contestant I want to see in the Hollywood Round or possibly in the Top 20, I'll consider Thursday (Feb. 3) night's audition episode a success. Are you happy, "Idol"? Have you lowered my expectations sufficiently?

Make it happen... Los Angeles auditions after the break...

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<p>D'Angelo and Amanda of 'Live to Dance'&nbsp;</p>

D'Angelo and Amanda of 'Live to Dance' 

Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS

Recap: 'Live to Dance' - The Finalists Dance

The final six acts bring it – but one stands out

Is it me, or is this show made up of so much filler there’s really only about fifteen minutes of actual show? Anyway, we’re down to the top six, so I’m guessing there will be even less show and more timewasting shambling than we’ve seen previously. Hopefully some of that will involve Paula Abdul acting all hella crazy. She’s been far too pulled together on this show, really.

[Full recap of Wednesday's (Feb. 2) "Live to Dance" after the break...]
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<p>Lorraine Bracco and the diners on Wednesday's Top Chef: All-Stars.&nbsp;</p>

Lorraine Bracco and the diners on Wednesday's Top Chef: All-Stars. 

Credit: Bravo

Recap: 'Top Chef All-Stars' - 'An Offer They Can't Refuse'

An Italian challenge brings some unexpected winners – and losers – to the table

Nine chefs left!Whoo!

Isaac Mizrahi is in the house for some reason. Because he designs clothes have good taste? Oh, no, because Padma is showing her jewelry line at Fashion Week, so we needed a tie-in. Nice plug, Padma! Subtle! And she’s wearing one of her own necklaces! Which looks like something I beaded at summer camp! Isaac’s new collection was inspired by his Xerox machine. Whaaaa? For the Quickfire Challenge, the judges will be going off of aesthetic beauty and will not be tasting the dishes. Mmm, sounds… pretty not tasty?
[Full recap of Wednesday's (Feb. 2) "Top Chef: All-Stars" after the break...]

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<p>This armadillo auditioned for 'American Idol'</p>

This armadillo auditioned for 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - Austin Auditions

Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson head to Texas

The brief nightmare of two-hour audition episodes is past. "American Idol" is down to a well-contained and restrained hour as the show looks for the best talent Deep in the Heart of Texas...

Full recap of the "American Idol" Austin auditions after the break...

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<p>Mark Zuckerberg meets Jesse Eisenberg, the Oscar nominated actor who portrayed him in &quot;The Social Network,&quot;&nbsp;on &quot;Saturday Night Live.&quot;</p>

Mark Zuckerberg meets Jesse Eisenberg, the Oscar nominated actor who portrayed him in "The Social Network," on "Saturday Night Live."

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Jesse Eisenberg and Nicki Minaj

The 'Social Network' star gets a visit from Mark Zuckerberg

Hot off the Oscar nominations comes Jesse Eisenberg to host tonight’s episode of “Saturday Night Live.” The musical guest? His twin sister, Nicki Minaj. OK, maybe they aren’t twins like the Winklevoss brothers, but there will surely be plenty of references to “The Social Network” throughout the show. Plus? Real-life Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has been rumored to appear tonight as well. It’s unclear if he’ll appear in the monologue, in a sketch, or simply on “Weekend Update” to announce that he’s purchased Colorado and renamed it Zuckerburbia. Guess we’ll have to watch and see for ourselves.

Onto the recap!

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<p>The 'Fringe' cast in the 'Reciprocity' episode</p>

The 'Fringe' cast in the 'Reciprocity' episode

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'Fringe' - 'Reciprocity'

An encounter with The Doomsday Device has a profound impact on Peter

For those still watching “Fringe”, the start of Season 3 was a thrilling, back-and-forth tale of two Olivias. There was Our Olivia, and Over There Olivia, who many on the interwebs (including myself) called Fauxlivia. (Apparently, the writer’s room had similar thoughts, as we learned tonight.) Both iterations of Olivia focused their gaze on the single, solitary Peter Bishop, the man at the center of the fates of each universe. If there was a criticism that could be leveled at the resolution of that mini-arc in the Fall, it was that con man Peter Bishop should have sensed that he himself was being conned. Tonight’s episode, “Reciprocity,” showed that no one was angrier about Peter being fooled than Peter himself.

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