<p>Kirstie Alley of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Kirstie Alley of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Performances - Week Three

One of the contestants hits the floor -- literally

Tonight is the night of emotional dances. This seems like it would be fun, but really it’s just the Night of a Lot of Dances Dedicated to Dead People. Which is better than some of the other dances, which our self-absorbed celebrities have dedicated to themselves. Yeah, don’t you love Hollywood? Anyway, it’s a long night, so let’s get to it.

Just in case you care, the “DWTS” Troupe demonstrates the many dances of the evening. What I’ve learned from this that all of the dances look a lot better when professionals do them. Thanks, “DWTS” Troupe!

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<p>Elton John and Kristen Wiig of 'Saturday Night Live'</p>

Elton John and Kristen Wiig of 'Saturday Night Live'

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Elton John

A slew of guests upstage Sir Elton's turn as host and musical guest

Can you feel the love tonight, “Saturday Night Live” fans? The show’s back, and with quite the host/musical guest: Sir Elton John. You might think Saturday night’s alright for fighting in the comments section, and sorry sometimes seems to be the hardest word when opinions start flying. But I don’t wanna go on with you like that, fair readers. So let’s hope the time off since the show’s last airing has recharged the writers/performers of “SNL,” in addition to giving The Lonely Island boys the chance to produce a digital duet with Elton John that could rival anything Justin Timberlake has done with them.

Too optimistic? Perhaps. Only one way to find out. Onto the recap!

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<p>Casey Abrams of 'American Idol'</p>

Casey Abrams of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' Results - Double Elimination Thursday

Which two singers paid the price for Casey's saving last week

After last week's Judges' Save of Casey Abrams and last night's criticism-free Elton John performances, Thursday is Anything That Can Happen Night on "American Idol." I predicted Thia Megia and Naima Adedapo for eliminations in my recap, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if neither of them even makes the Bottom Three.

Click through for the presumably unpredictable "Idol" result show...

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<p>Natalie of 'Survivor: Redemption Island'</p>

Natalie of 'Survivor: Redemption Island'

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Survivor: Redemption Island' - 'It Don't Take A Smart One'

Can Matt's Redemption Island streak and Phillip's crazy streak continue?
Pre-credit sequence. Apparently nothing interesting happened when Stephanie arrived on Redemption Island, because Wednesday's (March 30) "Survivor" begins with Team Formerly Russell returning to camp. Steve tries to patch things up between Dave and Sarita. Dave's feeling no regrets about how bluntly he tore into Sarita at the previous Trival Council. For her part, Sarita thinks that David went over to The Dark Side with Stephanie, though she tries telling him how much respect she still has for him. Ugh. I wish Sarita had a backbone. Dave's not interested in her platitudes and Steve is worried about unity. "Dave's showing he can be a bit of an antagonist, but hopefully David can be man enough and put his ego and pride and emotions aside for the bigger cause of the team," says Steve. "If not, there could be problems."
 
[Full recap of Wednesday's (March 30) "Survivor: Redemption Island" after the break...]
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<p>Muddy models from 'America's Next Top Model'</p>

Muddy models from 'America's Next Top Model'

Credit: The CW

Recap: 'America's Next Top Model' - 'Sonia Dara'

Tyra teaches the models to manage fame before tossing them in the mud

When we last left the leggy, lithe young things of "ANTM" Cycle 16, Dalya had been sent packing (you’ll recall that her face was wearing her, not the other way around, or something like that), and that catty Alexandria had used up about three of her nine lives. The rest of the contestants had prayed to every McQueen-clad god in the fashion pantheon that Tyra and Co. would send Alexandra home -- along with her raging bitchiness -- but no dice. Alexandria has survived for six episodes. Let’s see whether she can tame her attitude and last for a seventh, shall we?

[Full recap of Wednesday's (March 30) "America's Next Top Model" after the break...]
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<p>Mike and Richard of 'Top Chef All-Stars'</p>

Mike and Richard of 'Top Chef All-Stars'

Credit: Bravo

Recap: 'Top Chef All-Stars' Finale - And the winner is...

Richard and Mike both earn raves from the judges, but who won?

Whoot! It’s the finale of “Top Chef”! I’ll be honest; I’m rooting for Richard. I’m sure Mike is very talented and he only sweats into some of the food he cooks and he doesn’t steal recipes that often, but really, he’s not a contestant I can get behind. Richard has stuck-in-the-80s hair and he’s clearly so neurotic it must be hell to be married to him, but I love the fact he makes crazy food that sounds disgusting but must be good, as he’s gotten this far. But enough rooting. Let’s get on with it!

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<p>Haley Reinhart of 'American Idol'</p>

Haley Reinhart of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' Top 11 - Elton John Night

Casey shaves! Haley sings in parseltongue! And Jacob goes understated!

Get ready for a lot of Elton John this week, America.

In addition to lending this week's "American Idol" its theme, the "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" singer will be host and musical guest on this weekend's "Saturday Night Live."

We know the "SNL" writers won't know what to do with Sir Elton, but could he bring out the best in the Top 11? Click through to find out...

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<p>Chris Brown appeared on Tuesday's 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Chris Brown appeared on Tuesday's 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Results- Who went home first?

Chris Brown shows off his dance moves and the first contestant is eliminated

 

Did you see “The Story So Far”? I did, because I’ve watched the show for the last two weeks. Seriously, ABC, how far do you have to drive the hook into your “DWTS” audience anyway? Is it not enough to turn two minutes of information into an hour-long reveal?
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<p>Blair Underwood of 'The Event'</p>

Blair Underwood of 'The Event'

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'The Event' - 'Face Off'

When The President forces her hand, Sophia flexes her muscles

“The Event” pushes things into high gear this week with “Face Off,” a kitchen-sink episode featuring a major character death, the destruction of an American landmark, and, most importantly, Vicky running around in a revealing dress. There are, much to my surprise, a few moments of genuine excitement. Unfortunately, it’s also an episode that exposes just why it’s impossible for “The Event” to salvage its first season, at this point: all of this movement rings hollow because the show has failed to earn any sort of emotional investment, which it needed to be working on since the beginning.

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<p>Ralph Macchio of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Ralph Macchio of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Performances - Week Two

An early favorite stumbles in week two

It’s week two and the pressure is on. The first elimination is tomorrow, and judging from some of the performances last week there may be a few people who are secretly hoping to get the boot. Let’s face it – if you’re only occasionally employed, you have plenty of time to commit to dancing. But if you’re trying to dance AND hold down a regular job, I’m betting all this quickstep nonsense becomes a whole lot of  not fun in a hurry (Psycho Mike and Wendy Williams, I’m giving you an out here). But fingers crossed that tonight everyone brings their A game. Or at least their C+ game.

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