<p>Ralph Macchio lives!</p>

Ralph Macchio lives!

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Season 12 Premiere

Some early favorites emerge – and they’re not kids, either

“Dancing with the Stars” is back! Whoot! Did you know that, because we survived a long, cold winter that we deserve dancing? I did not know this! I thought maybe people deserved space heaters, generators and emergency kits in case of future massive power outages, but hey, dancing, that’s good, too. Anyway, hopefully a cha cha cha or a foxtrot will warm your frostbitten fingers. Let’s get to it!

I like Brooke Burke’s dress except for the witch hat that’s been stuck onto the side. Oh, wait. That’s supposed to be a rose. I think.
 
We meet our dancers, who all look a bit like they want to throw up. Has Ralph Macchio decided not to age? How old was he when he did “The Karate Kid” anyway, four?
 
[Full recap of Monday's (Sept. 21) "Dancing with the Stars" after the break...]

Read Full Post
<p>Kent works with dinosaurs on Sunday's 'Amazing Race'</p>

Kent works with dinosaurs on Sunday's 'Amazing Race'

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'The Amazing Race' - 'Don't Ruin the Basketball Game'

Last week never happened. This week features a pointless Double U-Turn
They sent somebody home on Sunday (March 20) night's "Amazing Race."
 
That doesn't seem like a big deal until you remember that through the first four episodes of the "Amazing Race" season, two of those episodes ended with nobody being eliminated. That's a structure that was pretty much guaranteed to tick off many of the show's most devoted fans. And even though Sunday's episode may have at least culminated in Phil Keoghan dispatching the last team to arrive at the Pit Stop, it was still a frustratingly failed piece of "Amazing Race" architecture.
 
If not for the need to do these recaps, I confess that I'd be near my breaking point, because this just isn't the way "The Amazing Race" is supposed to be designed.
 
I'm gonna grumble for a bit after the break...
Read Full Post
<p>Anna Torv of 'Fringe'</p>

Anna Torv of 'Fringe'

Credit: Liane Hentscher/FOX

Recap: 'Fringe' - 'Stowaway'

Fringe Division struggles to deal with the return of a familiar figure

I believe in self-determination. I feel like I have to get that out of the way before delving into tonight’s episode of “Fringe,” since it dealt so very much in the roles of fate and free will in determining the course of one’s life. (Or, in the case of this show, the course of an entire universe.) There are those that think things are supposed to happen in exactly one way, with us moving inexorably towards that singular destination without any hope of avoiding it. Under this configuration (expressed by Bellivia* tonight), trying to avoid what you know is to come only accelerates your progress towards that inevitability.

* I’m going with Bellivia as the moniker for the Anna Torv-as-Leonard Nimoy hybrid thanks to popular vote on Twitter. I had no real horse in this naming race, and let the power of the people decide. Moving on… 

Read Full Post
<p>Naima Adedapo of 'American Idol'</p>

Naima Adedapo of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' Results - Down to the Top 11

Would Lee DeWyze and Black Eyed Peas make the time fly?

Welcome, dear friends, to Thursday's (March 17) "American Idol" results show, or, as I prefer to call it, "That thing I'm kinda live-blogging while what I'm actually doing is swapping between NCAA Tournament basketball games."

Click through for a little March Madness...

Read Full Post
<p>Three skinny 'Survivor' chicas in bikinis (Andrea, Natalie and Ashley</p>

Three skinny 'Survivor' chicas in bikinis (Andrea, Natalie and Ashley

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Survivor: Redemption Island' - 'We Hate Our Tribe'

Two castaways plan a defection, but the game has other plans
Pre-credit sequence. Team Rob returns to camp. The rain is pouring down. Phillip is unsurprised that he received three votes at the previous Tribal Council. He knows he's the odd man out and he knows that Boston Rob is running the show. He's certain, though, that he brings a lot to the Tribe. For tonight, what he's bringing to the table is warmth, specifically cuddling with Rob. The next morning, Rob is displeased with Phillip's bedtime etiquette. Ashley and Adorable Andrea are displeased with Phillip performing lunges in his increasingly ratty fuchsia undies. "As long as Phillip is aggravating everybody so much, it takes all the heat off of me. So in a way, maybe he needs to stay," Rob rationalizes correctly.
 
Full recap of Wednesday's (March 16) "Survivor" after the break...]
Read Full Post
<p>Brittani of 'America's Next Top Model'</p>

Brittani of 'America's Next Top Model'

Credit: The CW

Recap: 'America's Next Top Model' - 'Francesco Carrozzini'

The models play with fire and shoot a coffee commercial

Alexandria! How does it feel to have the best photo and the blackest soul at the same time? The other girls think Alexandria should have been bumped down a few notches because of the raincloud she brought to the set of the last shoot; apparently those girls have never, ever read anything about Naomi Campbell.

Alexandria is from Orange County, which explains everything.

Read Full Post
<p>Padma Lakshmi in a bikini. Plus some other random guy.</p>

Padma Lakshmi in a bikini. Plus some other random guy.

Credit: Bravo

Recap: 'Top Chef All-Stars' - 'Island Fever'

The chefs must catch their own conch – but cooking it is the real challenge

It’s down to the final four and, as expected, the chefs are becoming just as cranky and neurotic as you’d expect with the Top Chef title in such close proximity. Still, there’s a little time to mourn those recently ordered to pack their knives and go. Everyone liked Carla, although I’m pretty sure everyone is just glad she’s out of the game, as she was pretty stiff competition. Tiffany is sad Carla’s gone, and I’m sad that Carla’s gone instead of Tiffany. No offense, but I just don’t understand how Tiffany managed to outlast Carla, who was such a strong chef and seemed to be improving her game (at least until she got the ax). But Tiffany still has a shot at sticking around, since Antonia is second guessing herself. So, in short, the girls are falling apart and it looks like Mike and Richard are a lock for the final two. So much for girl power.

[Full recap of Wednesday's (March 16) "Top Chef" after the break...]
Read Full Post
<p>Paul McDonald of 'American Idol'</p>

Paul McDonald of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' Top 12 Performances

Casey does Nirvana, while Paul and Lauren battle the flu

Songs From The Year You Were Born. No, not songs from the year I was born. Songs from the year the "American Idol" singers were born. It's almost never a good theme, unless your definition of "good" is "makes everybody watching feel old."

How did this year's singers do on Wednesday (March 16) night? Click through...

Read Full Post
<p>'Glee'</p>

'Glee'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'Glee' - 'Original Song'

Rachel and Kurt both struggle to express themselves as Regionals approaches

A lot of people love the competition episodes of “Glee.” I’ve never been a particularly big fan of them for two reasons. One, the performances themselves rarely measure up to the best performances in other episodes. It’s hard to wow the audience at home with spectacle when they get it on a weekly basis anyways. Secondly, the show rarely builds up to these competitions with little more than lip service. Ostensibly, every week of rehearsal should be building towards these specific events, but all too often everything that’s come before the week of the show gets chucked out in favor of musical Hail Marys.

But what “Original Song” did right, and did differently than all other previous competition episodes, was properly frame the competition itself as secondary to the various emotional entanglements going on amongst its participants. That’s a good thing, especially since the deliberation process to decide the Regionals winner was so painful and so tonally off from everything that preceded it that it nearly ruined all the good feelings this episode produced in my cold, black heart. I don’t think “Glee” views these competitions as anything more than a convenient way to frame a season of television anyways, so I’m glad that the show used this particular opportunity as a point at which much more important moments in life could come to the forefront.

[Full recap of Tuesday's (March 15) "Glee" after the break...]

Read Full Post
<p>&nbsp;Scott Patterson and Sarah Roemer of 'The Event'</p>

 Scott Patterson and Sarah Roemer of 'The Event'

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'The Event' - 'Turnabout'

A Gabrielle Carteris siting? Is that The Event?

For anyone who has been following my reviews of “The Event” so far this season, it’s clear that I am far from the show’s biggest fan. On the other hand, in the wake of last week’s paltry return-episode ratings, it’s also clear that I’m one of the few people still watching. As such it felt strangely morbid watching tonight’s episode, “Turnabout,” spin its wheels, knowing that NBC could pull the plug on this show at any minute, well before its few remaining viewers find out where any of this is heading.

[Full recap of Monday's (March 14) "Event" after the break...]

Read Full Post